


Alone

by monarose



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5144069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monarose/pseuds/monarose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexis is a Divergent that Eric desperately needs and in order to keep her, he holds her prisoner within Dauntless. Forced to train as an initiate with only Eric and Four to know she's there, will she survive what Eric has planned for her? Will the boys be able to keep their feelings for her in check to succeed? Jeanine has no idea what's coming. AU, No Tris, based on Insurgent. COMPLETE!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Do not own Divergent. Based on movie Eric. Original characters are all mine!

Alexis and her family traveled into the city to the main distribution centre where each faction dropped off their contributions to society.

She was unloading crates of food with her fellow Amity members when she caught the eye of the Dauntless leader overseeing their delivery, and shied away.

It was only a fleeting glace in her direction, he probably didn’t even notice her, but she feared he might one day.

There were rumors surrounding him about the Divergent. As far as she heard it, he actively sought them out and when he found them, they never returned.

Alexis was Divergent. On her testing day she found out she qualified for Amity, Abnegation and Dauntless. Her testing instructor told her to stick with Amity, where she would be safe, and manually put that in as her result.

She listened and stayed put, making sure to stay out of Dauntless’ way as much as possible and now she was 22 years old and happy, except when Eric showed up.

He was barking orders at someone from his position on the platform, making people scurry to and fro, and she was glad she never chose to go to that faction.

Her own people had formed a line and handed bag after bag to each other until it reached its destination; no one in charge and no one screaming at her.

Her father stood next to her with his yellow sleeves rolled up to his elbows and red vest flapping open in the breeze to cool him down.

It was nice out, but the hard work made everyone sweat and as she finished laughing at a joke he told her, her mother asked her to bring some water for them and her brothers.

Alexis was the oldest of five and only her brothers, Mark and Joshua, were helping them while her sisters, Erin and Amy, where at home with their grandparents.

She didn’t know if her brothers were Divergent as well or not, but they also chose to stay in Amity, as they were 20 and 17. Her sister Erin was next to choose her faction in another two years and Amy three more after that and she hoped they would stay too.

Alexis loved having her family around, it made her feel loved and cherished, and as she left her family to get some water, she toyed with the necklace her mother gave her on her choosing day.

It was a family heirloom, passed down through the generations since before the factions were created.

She rounded the corner and ran into another girl, dressed in black. She stumbled back and apologized.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

The other girl scowled, the piercing in her lip stuck out more from the expression, and she dusted herself off.

“Whatever. Make sure you look where you’re going next time, you banjo strummin’ softie.”

Alexis clenched her jaw at the name and fingered her pendant to calm down, but the girl noticed her necklace and pried it from her grasp.

“Hey, this is nice. I think I’ll keep it.” She said and went to walk away.

“Give it back!” She called after the girl, who turned around with a smile on her face.

“What will you do if I don’t? Hug me to death?” She snickered.

Anger swelled in her and when the girl turned her back on her, Alexis grabbed her arm and twisted it behind the girl’s back. She pulled tight, making the girl shout in pain.

“I said, give it back.” She hissed in her ear.

With speed Alexis hadn’t seen before, the Dauntless girl smacked her in the face with her elbow and Alexis let go, stumbling backwards. Blood dripped from her nose and she wiped it away with her sleeve.

The girl didn’t leave once free, but instead braced herself for a fight and charged. Instinctively, Alexis ducked her swing and punched her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her.

With the momentary pause as she regained her breath, Alexis took the opportunity and kicked her legs out from underneath her and snatched the necklace out of the girl’s hand once she was on the ground.

“What’s going on?!” A deep voice shouted from behind her.

Alexis spun on her heel and faced Eric. He looked furious as he marched over to her and she tried to run from him, but his grip tightened around her arm, forcing her to stay where she was.

“Stop struggling.” He said menacingly. Scared out of her mind, she kept fighting him to get away.

“Did you do this by yourself?” He asked. He shook her when she didn’t reply and repeated the question.

With a final shake, she looked up into his steely blue eyes and nodded. His eyes narrowed at her and he nudged the other girl with his foot.

“Get up Gina.”

The girl groaned, but sat up. She opened her mouth to accuse Alexis, but Eric stopped her.

“Shut it, Gina. I don’t want to hear how you let some Amity kick your ass. Get on the truck.”

With one last glare Alexis’ way, Gina grumbled as she left around the corner.

“Where did you learn to fight?” Eric asked her.

His grip on her upper arm was starting to hurt and she cringed when he squeezed harder.

“I didn’t learn.” She answered through gritted teeth.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. “You didn’t? Am I supposed to believe you did it out of instinct?”

“I guess.” She replied, terrified that he knew.

“Do you know it’s a grave offence to assault someone, especially a Dauntless?” 

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Good. You’ll understand why I have to arrest you then.” He hauled her with him back to the trucks.

Alexis screamed and kicked, scared that he was going to kill her, the first chance he got. It drew everyone’s attention and her parents rushed over as soon as they saw them.

“What are you doing with my daughter?” Her father called.

Eric pushed her into the passenger seat of the Dauntless truck and answered her father. “She’s under arrest for assaulting a Dauntless.”

“No, dad, don’t let them take me!” She cried through the window.

Her father looked helpless and tried to reason with Eric. “Surely she was defending herself. You should be arresting the other person.”

“Like hell! She attacked me first!” Gina shouted, poking her head out of the vehicle.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I caught her red handed. We’ll notify Amity of her sentencing.” Eric said and jumped into the driver seat without a second glance and started the engine.

They drove off as Alexis watched her parents cling to each other, crying in the distance as everyone else stood around in disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

Alexis hugged her knees against the wall of her Dauntless cell and cried.

She had been in there for hours and every footstep outside the door was torturous. Each time she imagined Eric coming in and killing her in a different way.

The first time it was a shot to the head, another was multiple stab wounds to the chest, then it was him beating her to death. Each vision worse than the last and then the time finally came.

The lock clicked loudly, echoing in the room and Alexis jumped in sudden alertness. Eric pushed the door open and she hated the calm look on his face. If it was anyone else coming to kill her, she would have slapped it off.

“Let’s go.” He said and patiently waited for her to get up and follow him out.

She wanted to refuse, but there was nowhere to hide in there and he was too strong for her to fight off by herself, so she went with him.

She watched his broad back sway with each step he took, the power behind his muscles moving with intention. He was so tall; he would engulf her 5’4” frame if it ever came to her against him.

Alexis chocked back a sob, knowing this was it as they reached another door, but she was surprised to find an aptitude testing chair inside when he opened the door.

“Sit.” He told her and started fiddling with the cords attached to the machine.

There was no point in resisting, so she sat down and flinched when he handed her the serum in a small vial. She took it tentatively and swallowed it all at once. Alexis sighed in relief when Eric faded away.

“Choose.” Someone called to her, but she couldn’t see who.

Beside her two pedestals appeared, one with a knife and the other with a piece of meat.

“Why?” She asked, unable to curb her sense of déjà vu.

The invisible voice didn’t answer her and not knowing what she would need them for, she took both.

As soon as she picked them up, she could hear growling behind her. She whipped around in fear and came face to face with a large, snarling dog.

She recognized the intent to lunge when it crouched lower and she threw the steak at it. At once it became a small puppy, happily munching on its’ meal.

A giggle came from behind her and she turned to see a young girl with her hand reaching out to touch the dog. The growling reappeared and so did her panic.

Alexis jumped in front of the girl before the dog could reach her and she stabbed it with the knife until she was covered in blood and the dog disappeared.

The next thing she knew she was sitting on the bus, in clean clothes. A wave of people came on and she gave her seat up to a pregnant Candor woman, causing her to stand next to a man with a scarred face, reading a newspaper.

“Have you seen this man?” He asked.

Alexis read the headline, ‘Murderer,’ and looked at the picture. Somehow she felt like she knew him, but she couldn’t place where.

“Please, tell me. You could save my life.” The man pleaded.

Murder was a terrible crime and to be associated with a murderer was not good, so she shook her head no.

Alexis snapped back to reality and looked at Eric, who was staring at her intently. Her chest tightened with fear.

He knew.

Suddenly he looked back at the door and she followed his gaze to see Jeanine Matthews through the window. She gave him a nod and walked away.

He turned back to Alexis. “So, Divergent huh?” He said, like it was a question, but she knew it wasn’t. Panic kept her mouth shut.

“Well, today’s your lucky day. Jeanine wants to keep you around, so I have a proposition for you.” He said, his hardened gaze watching her. “Either I drop you off in the Factionless sector or I can drop the charges against you and you join Dauntless, anonymously.”

Alexis swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew he really meant her dead body would be dumped in the Factionless sector. Her real options were death or Dauntless. There was no way he would let a Divergent go, but she had no idea why they would want her in Dauntless either.

“Why does Jeanine want me? I thought you killed Divergents.”

Eric’s right pointer finger twitched at the comment, but he otherwise looked indifferent.

“We do, but most of the time Divergents have only two aptitudes; you have four and she needs a strong Divergent.” He explained.

Confusion hit her. Four? What was he talking about?

“That doesn’t mean we won’t kill you if you fall out of line, though. There are plenty of others out there that could be as strong as you.” He threatened, not noticing she had barely heard him.

“I… I’m only supposed to have three aptitudes.” She said, her mouth going dry.

Eric’s eyebrow rose in curiosity. “Whoever told you that was either an idiot or didn’t want you to know. It was plain as day to me that you have all aptitudes, except Candor. Who did your first test?” He leaned in closer.

“A woman from Abnegation, I don’t remember her name.” She replied, quickly.

He leaned back, disappointment written on his face before it turned hard and he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Make your choice. I don’t have all day.” He said.

_Choose?_ She thought bitterly. A choice between life and death wasn’t really a choice at all and if he thought he was doing her a favor then he was sorely wrong.  
***

  
It was well past midnight before Eric allowed her out of her cell and she sleepily followed him through the empty halls to another set of doors. He opened them to reveal a large cement room with beds lined up in rows inside it.

“This is where you will be living during your training.” Eric said leaning against the wall, watching her. “Obviously you’ll have it to yourself, since there aren’t any official initiates.”

He pushed himself away from the wall and stood in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest, formidably.

“Training starts tomorrow morning, so you better get some rest.”

“Wait.” She called when he turned to leave.

“Won’t Max wonder why you’re training an Amity to be Dauntless?” She was curious.

“Max doesn’t know you’re here. To him and everyone else, you don’t exist anymore; we’ve shipped you off to the Factionless to live out the rest of your life.

"Jeanine and I are the only ones who know you’re here and that’s how it’s going to stay, got it? You’re not allowed to leave this dorm or the training room unless I say so. And if you waste my time, you’re going to wish you chose death.” He said leaning into her face.

Alexis cringed away from him.

“Are you afraid of me, Amity?” He asked with a sneer.

She could feel his warm breath brush past her face. “Yes.” She whispered.

Eric laughed. “You haven’t even seen scary yet.”  
***

  
Alexis was woken up by the sudden plop of fabric landing on her face. She shoved them off and looked up at her assailant.

“Get up, Amity.” Eric hovered over her with a tray full of food in one hand and a bag in his other.

In her grogginess, she forgot her fear and said, “I have a name, if you cared to ask for it.”

Instead of looking pissed off, like she thought he would, he merely looked thoughtful.

“You’re right. I can’t go around calling you Amity when we need to keep you a secret. How about; shut your mouth and do as you’re told.” He said darkly and tossed the bag of toiletries at her. She managed to catch them before they smacked her in the face as well.

“You’ve got 15 minutes to eat and get dressed. I’ll be outside.” She watched him leave, slamming the door behind him.

“What a dick.” She grumbled, rubbing her sore eyes. She had cried most of the night and maybe got about two hours of sleep afterward.

The clothes he got her were a size too big and all black, but the pants managed to stay up at her hips. With a little rolling of the pant legs, she was ready.

Her breakfast sat on the bed across from her and the pancakes smothered in syrup made her mouth water. She hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning, before the distribution.

Alexis inhaled her food in record time and got up to wash. She hadn’t had the energy to go exploring last night and this morning was surprised by the lack of privacy in the bathroom. She thanked God that she was alone.

She looked in the mirror after splashing some water on her face to wake up and cringed. The fluorescent lighting made her normally tan skin look pale and her brown eyes were puffy and red.

She grabbed the brush and untangled her long brown hair into something presentable, before brushing her teeth. There was a loud bang on the door to indicate time was up and she quickly rinsed her mouth out and dashed to the door.

Eric looked her up and down and looked annoyed. “Guess I’ll have to find some smaller clothes. You looked fatter in your baggy Amity shit.”

She didn’t have time to protest, because he began to walk away.

“Where is everyone?” She asked. The hallways were spooky when they were empty.

“This wing is for initiates, so no one comes down here. This is where we’ll be training.” He pushed open a set of double doors and they walked into the dark room.

“This is also only for initiates, so when it’s not in use, it’s empty. There’s another gym on the other side of the compound that Dauntless members use.” He explained and switched on the lights.

The room lit up and Alexis was surprised by how big it was. Punching bags lined one side of the expansive room, while mats were placed on the ground opposite them and at the far end of the room stood wooden shapes of people with targets.

Eric made a beeline for the mats, taking off his shoes as he went and called her over.

“I already know you have some talent, but let’s see how much. Attack me.” He said.

Alexis looked at him in shock. His black tank top showed every muscle in his arms and shoulders; she could clearly see that his arm tattoos went from wrists to elbows and his neck ones stopped at his collarbone.

He was massive and she knew any hit from him would break something. _This was probably how he planned to kill me all along_ , she thought to herself.

“You’ll regret it if you don’t get your ass in this ring right now.” He glared.

Taking a deep breath, she joined him on the mat and prayed it would be a quick death.

Eric stretched his muscles as he said, “The only rule is: the match isn’t over until the other can’t fight anymore. So, it’s in your best interest to beat me.”

_Yeah right_ , Alexis thought sceptically.

Eric began to circle around her and she copied him, to keep him in sight. He lunged forward in a fake attempt to hit her and she flinched away. He was trying to get her to make a move, she realized.

She couldn’t over power him, so she racked her brain for an alternate way to beat him. Speed and endurance were probably her best bet against such a large opponent, but she wasn’t in the same shape he was.

He obviously knew what she was thinking, because he hit her in the stomach with amazing speed and she reeled back from the force. He took the opportunity and punched her unprotected face, and sheer pain shot through her head.

Something clicked and without thinking, she ducked around him and jumped onto his back. She wrapped her right arm around his throat, with her left hand clasped around the other for extra strength, and squeezed as hard as she could. Eric made choking noises and his face turned red as he tried to pry her off.

His elbow to her face finally knocked her off and he tripped her so she fell onto her back. He sprawled out on top of her, his legs pinning her body down and it was his turn to have his arm against her throat.

He looked angry, but the only thing she cared about was trying to suck in air. Spots danced in her vision and it felt like forever before he finally let go. She inhaled deeply and coughed.

When he got off her, she rolled onto her side and ignored his offered hand. Her throat hurt from his crushing weight and her face felt bruised and swollen. She wanted nothing to do with him at the moment.

“Come on, Amity. We’ll take care of those bruises.” He said and she felt him grasp her arm and roughly pull her up.

He plopped her down on a nearby bench and she hadn’t notice he had left to get a first aid kit until she felt a cool, stinging sensation on her cheek.

Startled, she swatted at his hand. “I can do it myself.”

He looked sceptical. “Without a mirror?”

“I don’t need one. My whole face hurts, so I’ll just smear it all over.”

“I’m not letting you waste perfectly good ointment.” He glared at her.

Alexis kept her gaze averted from him and grudgingly let him apply the ointment to her face.

He was amazingly gentle, but she wasn’t fooled. His mere presence exuded authority and danger, ready to explode like a jack in a box that was too wound up.

Both of their bodies were tense. Hers was because she was waiting for the moment he would strike, but she had no idea why he was on high alert.

“You’ve got some good offensive moves, but you need to work on your defense.” He simply stated, capping the ointment he was using and packing up the kit.

“Why do you want me to learn defensive moves? Are you looking for more of a challenge when you finally try to kill me?” She asked.

He was still sitting so close to her that when he turned to stare at her in annoyance, she could see the specks of silver in his blue eyes that made them look grey as steel.

“My goal isn’t to kill you right now, so stop acting like I will any second. Now, if you’re done being a pain in the ass, we’ll start defensive moves.” He got up, and she glowered at his back.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“Come on Amity, pick up the speed!” Eric shouted at her from the sidelines.

Alexis urged her legs to move faster, but her muscles were growing tired and a stitch in her side spiked painfully every time she tried to suck in a breath.

She had no idea how much of the five minutes had gone by and was thankful when Eric’s watch beeped a minute later and he told her time up was up.

She sagged heavily against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor as her tormentor barked out orders.

“Drink some water and try not to puke on the floor, Amity. I’m going to grab lunch and wish I had never seen that pathetic excuse of a run.”

She cursed his retreating back under her breath and focused on slowing her heart rate.

The last few hours were brutal. Eric was relentless, pushing her to go faster, block quicker and she listened as he hurled insult after insult at her. The man was proving to be heartless and she wanted to cry so badly, but refused to in case he punished her for it.

She took the momentary peace to relax, catching her breath and controlling her emotions the best she could before he came back.

A little while later her attention was diverted to the door as it smacked closed, but instead of Eric she was surprised to see another man approaching her.

“Who are you?” He asked her in a deep voice.

She scrambled to stand and looked up into his brown eyes. “Alexis.” She replied.

“You don’t look familiar. Are you Dauntless?” He asked, looking at her with interest.

_Should I tell him?_ She wondered. _If he’s working with Eric, then I’m dead. But if he’s not…_

“You’ve always been too nosy for your own good, Four.” Eric said darkly behind them.

Alexis tensed in fear, but the man named Four, casually turned to face him.

“I noticed the lights were on and decided to check it out. What are you two doing in here?” Four asked.

To her, he sounded suspicious rather than curious.

“It’s none of your concern, Four, and neither is she, so beat it.” Eric replied.

Alexis stared in fascination as his face revealed no emotion, but his knuckles turned white from their grip on the tray.

Four looked between the two of them before he leaned closer to her and softly asked, “Are you alright?”

She quickly glanced at Eric, who twitched his head slightly, and she met Four’s eyes again.

“Eric’s forcing me to train as Dauntless to help Jeanine.” She quickly revealed, before Eric could stop her.

“Dammit, Amity! I told you to keep your mouth shut!” Eric growled and took a step closer.

Four shielded her with his body.

“What are you going to do, Four? Assault your leader and run off with some girl you don’t know?” Eric asked, clearly irritated by this intrusion to his plans.

“What does Jeanine want her for?” Four asked; his body rigid in front of her.

“I’m Divergent.” She whispered.

The slightest movement of his shoulders tensing told her that it meant something to him.

“Is Max in on this?” Four asked.

Eric smirked. “Jeanine likes to keep him in the dark sometimes.”

“So, you’re training her in secret, because Jeanine is going to use her, for what, the killing of more Divergents?” Four inched closer to the other man.

“Oh, I forgot you had a thing for them. Amar was the first, but he won’t be the last.” Eric goaded him. “I’ve even wondered if you’re one of them. Are you Four?”

In his anger, Four’s hands clenched at his sides.

Eric noticed and said to him with authority, “Outside, now.”

Both men walked out of the room and left her without a glance, the tension of their conflict still hanging in the air. She stayed rooted to the spot, too anxious to eat the food Eric left on the bench before leaving, and waited.

_Will Four help me escape? God, I hope so._ She prayed.

Ten minutes passed without a sound and she was trying to decide whether or not to see if they were still there when the door opened again and Eric walked back in.

“Looks like you’ve got a new trainer, Amity.” Eric said.

He didn’t wait for Four to follow him through the door and before it could close on him, Four caught it and gave Eric an evil glare.

Alexis was shocked at this declaration. _Did he threaten to kill Four too?_ She wondered.

“I’m going to help when Eric can’t get away to train you and when he can, I’ll be making sure you don’t show up on the security cameras.” Four explained.

_This can’t be happening!_ She cried inside.

“And because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut on the first day, you’ve proven that I can’t trust you to obey an order, so I’m going to be your roommate in the initiate room from now on. Say good-bye to privacy.” Eric smirked and sat down on the bench.

Alexis’ mouth dropped.

“I don’t see how telling on you means I need a babysitter at night.” She said disbelieving it warranted that kind of punishment.

“Well,” He said casually tossing an apple up and down, “since I told you I didn’t want anyone else to know you’re here and you deliberately did the opposite of that, then I have little doubt that you’ll break the rule about not leaving your dorm to try and escape, and in the process be seen by someone that shouldn’t.”

Alexis kept quiet, but inside she cursed herself, imagining using the bathroom while he was there and cringed.

She closed her eyes and chanted in her head, _‘This is a nightmare, this is just a nightmare.’_

“I’m not going to disappear, if that’s what you’re hoping.” She could hear Eric say from his spot on the bench and she opened her eyes in disappointment.

Four was gone, leaving them alone and she frowned. Even if he was going to help Eric, he at least seemed like a decent guy and she hoped there would be more days with Four than with Eric.

Her stomach growled loudly, interrupting her train of thought and she gazed longingly at the food by Eric. She had no desire to go near him, but her hunger propelled her anyway, making her pick up the sandwich and she sat down at the opposite end of the bench.

The bread was fresh and soft as she chewed, the ham inside tender and flavorful, and she finished it off quickly, not caring that the bread tasted different from Amity’s.

She went to grab the apple, but Eric snatched it off the tray first and licked it before putting it back. He watched her as she recoiled in disgust and left it there.

“You’re going to have to be faster if you want to eat.” He said, taking a bite out of his own apple.

Annoyed, she crossed her arms and positioned herself to stare at the mannequins across from her. She knew she was being childish, but she was too afraid to do anything else, because not only was he large, intimidating and lethal, he was also incredibly handsome and that made her nervous. Good looking guys usually got what they wanted, and she had a burning desire to not give him anything he wanted.  
***

  
“Concentrate, Amity! That target isn’t going to get any bigger.” Eric angrily pointed at the mannequin in front of her.

Alexis bit back her retort and tried aiming her knife again. Her arm shook with fatigue, the constant position of holding her arm in the air was getting painful and she wanted to hit the target at least once so he would get off her back. She had been at it for an hour and was at the point where she’d rather throw the sharp weapon at him than the target.

_Would he catch it if I threw it at him?_ She wondered sinisterly.

With his incredible power of mind reading, he sighed heavily and walked over to the board and stood in front of it with his arms crossed behind his back.

“Would this make it easier?” He asked simply and without anger, which shocked her.

Alexis stood dumfounded. Did he really want her to throw the knife at him or was this some kind of trick?

“Come on. I deserve it don’t I? Took you away from your friends and family only to eventually release you to kill them all isn’t that right? Doesn’t that make you want to hit me?” He taunted, humor dancing behind his eyes.

Rage built up inside her and she aimed her arm. Steady, like he showed her, and stared at the spot where she wanted to hit, right in his missing heart.

_What if I really hurt him?_ The thought snuck up just as she threw the knife and it hit the board beside his leg; she sighed in relief.

Eric pulled the knife free and stormed over to her, the pointed edge pressed against her breast bone. His other large hand gripped her arm to prevent her from backing up.

“What was that?” He seethed.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” She said, scared he might press too hard and accidently kill her in his rage.

“I don’t ever want you to hesitate again, you hear me?! In a real fight, hesitation and sympathy only lets the other guy get the advantage on you, just like I did now. I could have stabbed this through your heart and you’d be dead if I wanted you to be. Be smart.” He pushed her away from him and flung the knife with perfect precision at the mannequin where it stuck in the bullseye.

_Jeez._ She gulped, staring wide eyed at him as she rubbed the spot on her chest where the blade dug in.

He looked at her and his tension ebbed away. “We’re done for today.” He said and stalked over to the bench to grab his things.

Alexis relaxed with relief. She badly wanted to take a hot shower to ease her sore muscles and go to sleep. She was so busy daydreaming about her free time that she almost didn’t catch the towel Eric tossed at her.

“Put that over your head like you’re drying your hair and make a show of it.” He said before walking out.

Alexis quickly followed him out and was curious as to why he turned away from the initiate dorm.

“Where are we going?”

“You’re going to help me pack a few things now that I’m not going to be sleeping in my apartment.” He replied without looking back at her.

_I forgot about that. Darn it, how am I supposed to have a shower now?_ She frowned and jogged to keep up with his long strides. When they turned a corner Alexis realized they’d left the initiate wing completely.

A couple was leaning against the jagged wall, embraced in each other’s arms as they made out and she caught the eye of another guy who walked by them. The look of interest on his face reminded her about her towel and she quickly began to pretend to rub her hair dry.

Voices bounced off the rock walls and echoed around her; confusing her as to where they came from. The hallway branched off a few times as they walked past, but the other ends only revealed more darkness.

A couple of more turns and doors with numbers began to appear every so often on either side of them. Alexis was wondering what they were for when Eric stopped by one and jiggled keys into the lock. The black door with 17 etched into the paint swung open and she stepped in behind him.

The sun was setting so the rich light that poured in from the large window behind the bed made everything look golden. The spacious room was clean, but cluttered with books and papers strewn over the coffee table and one of the chairs next to his leather couch.

Eric grabbed a bag from his closet and dumped it on the bed, and as he began to shove clothes into it, Alexis leaned over one of the many books and out of curiosity read the title.

‘History of War,’ was written in bold black letters across a blank white cover.

“Figures.” She mumbled to herself.

“What was that, Amity?” Eric asked and she jumped back, hoping he didn’t catch her snooping.

“Uh, nothing.”

Eric glanced down at the chair next to her and abandoned his packing, obviously spotting her. He strolled over, shuffled the papers together and stuffed them into the book before moving it out of sight.

“I’m doing research.” He said and then pointed at a stack of books by the door. “Those are for you. Jeanine sent them early this morning.”

Alexis followed his gaze and spotted the five books he mentioned on the floor, carefully placed out of the way.

“What are they for?”

“You need to learn about all the factions, especially Candor since you don’t have the aptitude for it,” He eyed her up, “and maybe Dauntless, to successfully pull off what we need you to.” He explained going back to his bag.

“When am I supposed to have time for that?” She asked annoyed at the increasing pile of things she had to learn.

“After training.” He replied.

“What about down time? I can’t push my body to exhaustion and then my brain every day.”

Eric violently slammed his pants into the bag and turned on her.

“Pull the Erudite out of your ass and use your brain! I only have two weeks to prepare you, which means we need every second we can get. This isn’t school where you can dick around all year, this is life or death, get it?”

Alexis’s fingers tingled with the need to hit something, which was an odd combination to the tears that threatened to fall at his hurtful words. She knew he was right and darn it, she couldn’t argue with him because of it.

So many different emotions were running through her. She wanted to cry and hide to avoid the violence, but a part of her demanded she fight back and another told her to play along until she could think of a way to escape.

She thought it was funny that her Amity upbringing was saying squat at the moment. Nothing about this situation allowed her to think there was going to be a peaceful ending to it, no matter what happened.

They always say that knowledge is power, right?

With an audible sigh, she gave in and went to pick up the books. They were heavier than she thought they would be and balanced them on one arm so she could take the bag that Eric handed her.

She watched him go to the bathroom and return with his toiletries a few minutes later. He put them under her arm and Alexis teetered under the weight of it all.

“Can’t you carry some of this? You’re stronger than I am.” She complained.

“Think of it as endurance training.” He said with a smirk and ushered her out of his apartment.

Alexis followed him back at a much slower pace than before, grumbling under her breath. To their fortune, everyone was gone to dinner, or at least that’s where she assumed they went as her own stomach growled furiously.

As soon as she got to the dorm she dropped his things by the door and rubbed her sore shoulder where the heavy bag’s strap dug in. Eric gave her an annoyed look as he bent to pick them up and he selected the bed closest to the entrance.

She left him to settle in and sat down on her own bed. She had chosen one that was against the wall, because it made her feel safer to have something solid to protect her back if anyone came to attack her in the middle of the night, and rested her eyes for a moment.

“I’m getting dinner. If you even think about leaving this room while I’m gone, you’ll be sorry.” She heard him say and slowly opened an eye when the door slammed closed.

With a quick look around to make sure he was gone, she ran to the shower, undressing on the way there and washed off the sweat with the speed of lightning. She was dressed in her clothes again and reading the book about Dauntless by the time he came back.

“Had time for a shower, did you? Hope you don’t mind if I have one myself.” He said and put their food down on an empty bed.

She eyed him warily as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it onto his bed. Then he unbuttoned his pants and slid underwear and trousers down all at once.

In surprise, she lifted the book up to eye level and blocked out the image of him sauntering to the showers, naked. The water turned on and she tried to tune his whistling out by engrossing herself in the book.

‘Manifesto.’ The first page was titled.

‘We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world’s injustices. We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that:  
• We believe that justice is more important than peace.  
• We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions.  
• We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.  
• We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us.  
• We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.  
• We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.  
• We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.  
• We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because we believe in action.  
• We do not believe in living comfortable lives.  
• We do not believe that silence is useful.  
• We do not believe in good manners.  
• We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands.  
• We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence.  
• We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by.  
• We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery.’

Well, she had to admit that she agreed with some of their beliefs, at the very least, but what she really hoped would be in the book was a map of the Dauntless compound so she could find her way out. She turned back to the contents page and read down the list.

Page 1: Manifesto

Page 2 - 5: History of Dauntless

Page 6 - 7: Rules and regulations

Page 8 - 11: Careers

Page 12 - 22: Initiation stages

Page 23 - 24: Daily life in Dauntless

Page 25: The Factionless

Page 26: Appendix

There was no mention of a map or anything like it so she flipped through the pages quickly to see if anything would pop up in one of the chapters and came up empty handed; she sighed.

_Guess I’ll just have to do it the old fashioned way and sneak around._ She decided.

“You can’t learn anything by skipping pages.” Eric’s voice startled her as he walked in with a towel around his waist. She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at him and grabbed her dinner before he could ruin it.

She ignored him and propped the book up against her knees as she leaned back on her pillow and ate her hamburger one handed. She turned to the chapter about initiation, curious as to what she was up for and began reading.

Thirty minutes later, her dinner eaten and Eric quietly reading his own book, Alexis’ eye lids drooped heavily. The urge to go to sleep was so great that she couldn’t fight it and promptly fell asleep as her head lolled to the side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is taking place years after what would have been Tris' initiation. Eric and Four are 26 years old and it's taking Jeanine a lot longer to make war. Tris also doesn't exist.  
> I'm kinda following the second book/Movie, Insurgent but not completely and if you haven't read the third book or Four's own books then you probably won't know who Amar is. He was Four and Eric's initiation trainer. Always like to hear from you guys too!

Alexis jerked up suddenly. The lights were turned off and there was a kink in her neck from falling asleep in a weird position. In the dim light she realized her book fell out of her lap and the sound of it hitting the floor was what woke her up.

Across the room, Eric was still snoring peacefully and she looked over at him. He was shirtless and the arm closest to her was hanging over the edge of the bed as he lay on his back.

It had to be the middle of the night and even though her body was sore, she felt wide awake. Alexis hated it when that happened. Just a few hours of sleep could revive her enough to stay awake for another hour or two before her brain would even allow her to fall back asleep, no matter how tired she was before.

Not bothering to even try, she figured now would be as good of a time to sneak around as any and got up. She tipped toed in her bare feet quietly to the door, hoping he wouldn’t wake up and opened the door slowly and slipped out, struggling to let the heavy door close behind her without slamming.

With a surge of excitement she went in the direction they took to Eric’s apartment in hopes of finding more common areas that could lead to the outside world. The dark hallways were even darker than before, the blue glow from the lights dimmed now that there was less need of them as everyone was asleep in their beds and she began to lose track of where she was going.

Alexis turned into another dead end and back tracked. Her bare feet were getting cold from the concrete floors and she was getting worried that she’d have to turn back before she would find anything useful.

“Was this place built in a maze or something?” She muttered to herself, turning another corner and walking into a hard body.

“Oomph.”

Her heart jumped into her throat as soon as she realized it was a person she walked into and wondered if she could get away before they saw her.

“Alexis?” The man asked and she recognized Four’s voice.

“Four?”

“What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” He asked as he took her hand and led her closer to a light so they could see each other better.

“I, uh… Couldn’t sleep.” She nervously replied.

His eyes squinted for a split second like he didn’t believe her but said, “Neither can I. All this stuff with Eric has my mind working overtime, though I can imagine that it’s worse for you.”

“Yeah.” She said feeling uncomfortable under his steady gaze and turned to leave. “I better get back before Eric wakes up.”

“I’ll walk you back.” He said firmly, making it clear that she had no choice but to accept it.

Alexis was aware that his hand was close enough to touch hers as they casually walked side by side down the hallway. He was leaner and shorter than Eric, but still strong looking through the tight black t-shirt he wore now. He was a good looking guy too, but gave the impression that he wasn’t cocky about it and it allowed her to relax around him.

“Can I ask you a question?” She asked, breaking the silence between them.

“Sure.” He said and she realized that his voice was even deeper than Eric’s.

“Who’s Amar? Was he a Divergent?” She was curious about the man Eric admitted to taking out.

“He was and he was mine and Eric’s trainer during our initiation.” He explained.

“What happened to him?”

“He was found dead after initiation.” He replied.

“Oh.” She said, non-too surprised to hear it.

“I knew it was Eric when I found out, because I caught him overhearing Amar admit to me about being a Divergent.” Four went on to explain.

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“Let’s just say that Eric has something on me that I don’t want getting out and so I’ve kept my mouth shut.” He said with reluctance.

“Is that why you agreed to help him now?”

Four glanced at her in thought before replying, “Yes.”

The sound of bare feet quickly slamming on the ground grabbed their attention and Eric rounded the corner in a rage.

“Fuck, there you are. I woke up to take a piss and found you missing. What the hell are you two doing out here?” He demanded, his naked chest heaving to catch his breath.

“We both couldn’t sleep and ran into each other.” Four lied.

Eric scowled at him and growled, “She couldn’t sleep, my ass.” And then he looked at her, “You were trying to get away.”

Four stepped forward. “I think being taken from your home and thrown into a dangerous situation warrants getting some air when you need it.”

Eric glared at him. “No, it doesn’t.” And he pulled Alexis away from Four. “You’re right about one thing though, this is a dangerous situation and it requires secrecy before anyone gets killed.” He hissed at the smaller man.

Without another word, Eric dragged her with him as he turned and left Four standing in the hallway alone.

“Ow.” She whimpered from his painful grip on her arm.

“Shut it.” He said with anger.

Eric hauled her all the way back to the dorm and locked it behind them once they were inside before turning on her again.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Every chance you get you’re directly disobeying my orders. Do you _want_ me to chain us together once training is done for the day? Because I will.” He roared.

Alexis stood her ground, her own anger building. “You want to know what’s wrong with me. Okay, maybe it’s the fact that I’m here instead of at home, or maybe it’s having to hear you yell at me every second of the day. It may even be the fact that I’m supposed to kill people after all this _bullshit_!” She screamed back at him.

“Bullshit?” He asked with raised eyebrows. “This bullshit is war! One day it will be a massacre out there, but you might be able to stop that if you’d smarten the fuck up.”

Confusion curbed her anger. “Does it make you feel good about yourself when people hate you? Because I get the feeling you’re _trying_ to piss me off.”

Eric drew in closer so he towered over her. “You should hate me. Why? Because people like _me_ are killing people like _you_.” He hissed with menace.

He backed up a few steps without breaking eye contact and Alexis could see his muscles quiver with tension. Confused as hell as to why she was there, she was the one to tear away from their battle of wills and crawled back into bed.

“What are you doing, Amity? Get up, training starts now.” He said, crossly shoving his shirt and boots back on.

“You’re kidding. It’s only three in the morning!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought of that before riling me up. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to sleep now, and if I’m going to be awake than you are too. Let’s go.”

He unlocked the door and held it open for her. Alexis groaned and got ready, then marched down the corridor to the training room with him hot on her heels.

“Mat.” Eric commanded.

Alexis was so angry with him that she didn’t argue and shed her shoes before entering the ring. She stretched her aching muscles and tried to recall all the defensive and offensive moves he taught her the day before, but it was like her anger cleared her mind of all thought and allowed her instinct to act for itself. As soon as he was ready, she attacked.

A quick hit to his throat incapacitated him long enough so she could punch him in the face, his head whipping to the side with the force. She went to knee him in the groin, but he was quick to block her and grabbed her leg, knocking her down. He had a good grip on her ankle and twisted it, but instead of hurting her she rolled with it and kicked him in the face with her free foot.

He reeled back and she got back up awkwardly. Eric gathered himself and launched at her with a snarl. Alexis tried to punch him in the face again, but he caught her arm with his and jabbed her in the ribs a couple of times and then in the face.

Pain shot through her temple, but she shook it off as best she could and grabbed the arm that had hers to leverage herself as she swung her legs up and around his neck to knock him to the ground, his face beneath her lap as she kneeled over him and bit his arm, hard.

“Ahh!” He cried under her crotch.

Alexis could taste blood on her tongue, but then he dug his nose in the sensitive part between her legs and she jumped off him in surprise.

He regained his upright position and said, “Liked that did you? There’s more if you want it.” He goaded her with a cocky smirk.

Alexis dove for him, but he caught her around the waist, his shoulder digging into her stomach and hoisted her up. He flipped her over and onto the mat so she was flat on her back.

Winded, she struggled to take in a breath as he pounced on her and wrapped his left hand over her throat and raised his right fist to end the fight with a blow to the head, but instead of hitting her he said, “You’re dead.”

He was breathing hard as he angrily stared at her beneath him until he finally lowered his arm and got up. He marched off the mat, grabbed his shoes without putting them on and left the room in a flurry.

Alexis laid there in exhaustion; her anger replaced with relief at his disappearance and regained her rhythmic breathing.

_Was it wrong that it felt good to hit him? She asked herself. Hell, no_. She decided without guilt.

She sat up and waited for him to come back, thinking he was just cooling down out in the hallway, but a little while later, Four walked in.

“What are you doing here?” She was puzzled to see him.

“Eric basically tried banging my door down until I answered it, and then ordered me to come and finish your training for the day.” He said as he walked over to her and sat down on the floor.

“I don’t know what happened, but I wish you two could have at least gotten some more sleep first. What did happen?” He asked, slightly amused, but clearly tired.

With a heavy sigh she told him about their fight and the subsequent battle.

“You did deserve it after your little adventure.” He said when she finished.

She gave him a quick glare and then sighed. “I supposed I should thank you for _trying_ to lie to Eric on my behalf.” She sighed.

“You’re welcome.”

“Seriously, were you Candor before Dauntless? Because that was terrible.” She said.

“No.” He answered bluntly, looking away.

“No details? Okay, I can see you’re a private guy, but that won’t stop me from guessing.” She joked, trying to lighten up the situation.

He might be helping Eric and therefore Jeanine, but he was nicer than Eric and probably the only person she could talk to so she planned on loosening him up.

“Hmm...” She hummed thoughtfully.

He said he wasn’t Candor, though he was stiff at lying, and Amity and Dauntless were pretty good at it so that left Abnegation and Erudite. He was also sticking his neck out for her when it came to Eric and she’d say that was a pretty selfless thing to do.

“My guess is Abnegation.” She said confidently and his eyebrow rose slightly.

“I knew it!” She laughed in celebration.

His mouth twitched at the corner. “Okay, you got me. Eric did say you had four out of five aptitudes. That’s impressive.”

He gazed at her for a moment, then appeared to snap out of it and stood up. “We better get to training before Eric skins us.”

Alexis groaned. “Is there any chance you’ll let me go back to bed and sleep for another few hours?” She pleaded.

“Sorry, it’s important that you learn this stuff.” He said and waited for her to stand.

“Can you take it easy on me at least? I feel pretty banged up from earlier.”

Four pursed his lips and nodded. “I’m not going to throw you into a full fight right off the bat anyway. Show me some of the moves you’ve learnt from Eric and we can go from there.”

She nodded and readied herself, her legs spread apart and her arms up for protection. She slowly showed him the first move Eric showed her and Four gently defended himself, they continued on that path until she was out.

“That’s good. Only a day here and you’ve remember most of the basic stuff. Okay, I’m going to show you some of the more difficult moves now.” He said, shaking out his limbs.  
***

  
Half an hour later he had her contorted into a submissive position and she tried to get out of it, but was having a difficult time with the position her limbs were in. The only thing she could think of that could help her was to get him to back off.

She was fortunate enough that his head was right above hers and so she headed butted him hard enough that he stumbled back and released his hold.

Freed, she jumped up and smiled at her accomplishment. Her head hurt mildly, but it was probably only a fraction to the pain Four must have felt as he rubbed his head where she bonked him. She walked over and offered him a hand up and he took it graciously.

“Did you learn that from Eric?” He inquired.

“Kind of. He knows how to play dirty.” She blushed, remembering when he stuck his nose up her crotch.

“You’re being too easy on her, Four.” Eric said from behind her.

Alexis whipped around at the sound of his voice and narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t expect him to come back for the rest of the day, but here he was carrying yet another tray of food and she noticed the bandage covering his right hand. When did that happen? She sure didn’t hurt him enough to do that and she didn’t remember him doing anything either.

“We’re just going through the steps, Eric.” Four tried to explain, but Eric cut him off.

“She obviously knows the steps.” He said to Four, but still studying her.

Four marched over to him and said, “Talent isn’t going to help her recall techniques in the middle of a fight, she needs to learn this.”

Alexis could still hear their conversation and listened intently.

“She doesn’t have a technique. Amity, here, runs on basic animal instinct, at least from what I can tell, unless she’s lying to us…” Eric replied with a quick glance back at her. “Besides, we don’t have time for her to learn everything. I think it’ll be best if we concentrate more on her fear training and other skills.”

“Fine.” Four conceded. “Will you be staying for the rest of the day?”

“No. Max needs me to go with him to the Candor compound.” Eric replied and shoved the tray into Four’s hands with a clink.

“Keep her in line.” He added before leaving them alone again.

The look on Four’s face when he faced her again was a mix of exasperation and surrender.


	5. Chapter 5

 

“So… Has Eric always been so wound up?” She asked, digging in her eggs for a wandering hash brown.

“As long as I’ve known him.” Four responded after taking a sip of water. “How did he find you, anyway?” He asked her.

“I was with my family at the Distribution Centre and a Dauntless girl stole my necklace, so I took it back and Eric saw me.” She told him with a shrug.

“You beat her up in front of everyone?” He sounded mildly astonished.

Alexis rolled her eyes at him. “No, we were around the corner and I didn’t do it on purpose. Something just came over me and I did it.”

“Okay.” He nodded in understanding. “Amity would have concealed you well, if you hadn’t got caught. Anger seems to be a good trigger for you.”

“Yeah… Eric appears to know how to push that button.” She looked away.

“Hey.” He said and comfortingly laid his hand on her arm. “Don’t let him get to you.”

“How am I supposed to do that? The man wants me to help him kill people.” She sighed in frustration.

Four slowly drew his hand away and they ate in silence for a minute.

“Do you want to know one of my fears?” He suddenly asked.

Alexis looked at him with interest. “You would tell me?”

“I would, if you keep it to yourself.” He said with a nod.

“Who am I going to tell? Eric?” She said sarcastically and Four grinned at her.

“Alright... In my third fear I have to kill a girl. I have no idea who she is, but the only way I can get out of it is to shoot her in the head. I’ve never had to actually kill anyone and it terrifies me, obviously, but I’m prepared to do it if I have to.” He said with a serious expression.

“You do remember that I’m not actually a Dauntless member, right?”

“You’re not.” He agreed. “But think of it this way. You can always use these skills one day to kill someone you must, if you need to.”

Alexis absorbed what he said and felt like he was sending her a secret message. Was he implying that one day she could take everything she learnt from Eric and turn around and kill him with it?

_Hmmm… Maybe I should take his advice and really try so I can save myself later on._ She thought.  
***

Rat-a-tat-tat.

Alexis’ gun went off in quick succession. It was the first time she ever held one and she’d love to say that each bullet hit the target, but then she’d be lying. Embarrassed, she lowered the gun and bit her lower lip in thought.

“Do you mind if I..?” He asked, indicating the gun.

Alexis nodded and went to hand him the gun, but he shook his head and told her to hold it up again so she did. She put the butt end against the pocket of her shoulder like he showed her earlier and rested her cheek on the stock as she aimed it.

Four gently pushed her arms higher and straightened her posture with a firm grip on her shoulders. Then his fingers trailed down her covered skin as one hand rested against her stomach and the other stayed on her back. Goosebumps rose up at the caress.

“You need to steady your breathing as well as concentrate on your posture, and then your aim will be more accurate. Try only one bullet at a time for starters though, until you get the hang of it.” He said and released her.

Alexis let out a shaky breath, ignoring the tingling that ran all over her and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit the bottom of the target this time.

“Yes!” She shouted in glee and fist pumped the air.

Four chuckled deeply behind her; reminding her he was there.

“You’re really good at this teaching thing.” She complimented him while pulling up her pants. They were beginning to droop around the butt from so much wear.

“Thanks... Was Eric going to get you smaller clothes? You look like you’re going to be swallowed up in those.” He changed the subject.

“Umm, yeah, he said he was going to, but maybe he forgot.” She looked down at herself.

She had worn the same outfit two days in a row now and slept in it, if you could call last night’s nap a sleep, and it was somewhat wrinkled. She suddenly became self-conscious of what it might smell like too.

“Sorry, if I smell like B.O. I swear I had a shower last night, but working out in it for so long…”

“No, it’s okay. It happens to the initiates every year. They only get one outfit when they arrive and it’s up to them to buy more, but that doesn’t mean they get around to doing it right off the bat, especially the boys.” He said and smiled reassuringly to her.

He shuffled a bit and looked about him in thought before saying, “since Eric’s not in the compound, I could probably let you have a shower while I get you some more clothes.” He offered.

_Goodness… What a freaking sweetheart. What is he doing here?_ She thought to herself as she took in his luscious lips and deep brown eyes for the first time.

She was tempted to say no so he wouldn’t get into trouble, but she didn’t know if she’d get the chance to have a shower in private again or if she’d ever get new clothes and so nodded in agreement.

She followed him down the hallway with her senses on high alert, worried that Eric was going to pop up just around the corner again, but there was no sign of him as she entered the dorm and got undressed.

Four had left her as soon as she entered to track down some clothes and she took a deep breath to relax. She welcomed the privacy with open arms and basked in the hot water than ran down her body, easing sore muscles and washing away her anger.

Feeling clean and refreshed, Alexis stood in front of the mirror and wiped away the steam that clouded it to reveal her face. An angry bruise was blossoming across her left cheek and she frowned. She wasn’t going to be looking pretty for a while.

Lowering the towel she had wrapped around her, she inspected her left side. More bruises covered a small portion of her ribs there and she flinched when she touched them.

_At least he didn’t break them_. She reasoned to herself.

The glint of metallic pink around her neck from the florescent lights above caught her eye and she palmed the four hearts that swirled together so they looked like a cross with a small diamond in the center.

To her family it meant love and unity. Her mother would always tell her, when she asked about the necklace as a little girl, that it meant they would always love each other, no matter what faction they were in and they would always be together in spirit, even if they were far apart in body.

She had no idea if it was meant to represent that at the beginning of the factions when her ancestor brought it with them or if it was just a pretty heirloom that couldn’t be left behind or not, but it was worth more than monetary value to her and tears welled up in her eyes at the memory of her family.

A loud bang on the door startled her out of her misery and she called out, “Four?”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

“Umm...” She looked down at herself, still completely naked under her white towel.

_He’s Dauntless, maybe he won’t care. Eric sure didn’t mind showing off his assets._ She thought to herself.

“You can come in!” She called back and nervously adjusted the fabric tighter around her so it wouldn’t fall.

The door opened and Four came in, not noticing her at first.

“I got a few pairs of regular clothes and something to sleep in too…” He was saying, but halted when he looked up and saw her there.

She could see his Adam’s apple bob for a second as he swallowed and then looked away. He put the clothes down on the closest bed and began walking back to the door, taking one last glance at her as he said, “I’ll be outside.”

She quickly went to the bed and picked through the clothing. He did indeed bring her three pairs of pants and shirts, and a pair of PJ’s consisting of shorts and a tank top. He even brought her a sports bra, the kind where every boob size fit if you got it on, and some underwear. The man was a saint.

The clothes were a bit snug compared to what she was used to, but they clung to the right places and she didn’t have to roll them up, so he did a good job in her book.

Happy with how she felt, she shoved the rest of her clothes into the chest at the end of her bed and joined him out in the corridor.  
***

The rest of the day went as expected. Knife throwing was better, but still tricky and he had her doing more endurance training before dropping her off at the dorm for dinner. They found Eric inside waiting with a book in his hand as he relaxed on his bed and he looked up at their entrance. He eyed her from head to toe and sat up straight.

“When did you have time to get new clothes?” He inquired calmly, but Alexis could see anger and annoyance lurking behind his eyes; Four saw it too.

“I got her some while she took a shower.” He told the truth just as calmly.

“Oh, you did, did you? That’s so sweet of you, Four.” He complimented him mockingly.

Four’s jaw muscle twitched. “She needed new ones or she was going to end up tripping over herself.”

“That’s not your problem is it? And now I’ve got two of you who are disobeying me.” Eric growled as he got up and got into Four’s face.

He was only about an inch taller than Four, but his personality just made him feel bigger in general and Alexis flinched when he said, “I would like a word with you, outside.”

They left the room together with a clang and frustrated with being left out, Alexis put her ear up against the door to listen in.

“What are you doing, Four?” Eric sounded angry.

“Being nice to her.”

“Oh, that’s great. We’re not training her to become a girl scout here.” Eric snapped.

“She’s confused and angry. Why don’t you just tell her the truth?” Four asked.

“I can’t do that… Look, you’ve seen her, she needs to use her anger and I want her to be angry instead of afraid. She was cowering like rabbit yesterday and now… she’s a pain in the ass, but a strong one. By the end of training she won’t run scared at the first sign of a fight.”

_Truth? What truth?_ She internally demanded the door.

“There’s more to her than just anger, Eric. She’s also smart and kind and selfless.” Four said.

“That’s the point isn’t it?” Eric shot back.

“My point is, if you keep pushing her so hard she’s going to break.”

“Well, she’s my charge and I will train her as I see fit. You’re relieved of duty.” Eric said with finality.

Alexis jumped back from the door and bolted to her bed before he could catch her. She was opening her book about Dauntless up as he came back in and looked at her suspiciously.

Satisfied that she didn’t appear to be eavesdropping, he locked the door behind him and pulled his shirt over his head on the way to the shower.

Alexis had to admit that he was pretty to look at as his muscles rippled with his movement. Her eyes followed him until he disappeared around the corner of the bathroom where the showers were and heard the jingle of his belt being undone.

The water turned on and she had to fight the sudden urge to pee. With everything that happened today she never noticed she hadn’t gone and now all the water she drank was coming back in full force.

She rocked back and forth gently, silently praying she could hold it long enough for him to finish, but she felt so swollen that she knew it would be no time at all before it leaked out of its’ own violation.

Refusing to let him see her pee, she snatched the blanket off the nearest bed and rushed to the closest toilet. She draped it around her back so she could undo her pants and then spread it out like a curtain in front of her as she sat down and sighed in relief. She was thankful that the sound of the water from the shower drowned out the sound of her going.

“What are you doing?”

Alexis jerked in surprise at his voice, but calmed quickly.

“What does it look like? I’m using the facilities.” She rolled her eyes behind her improvised curtain.

“I can see that, but what the fuck is the blanket for?”

“Umm, for something called privacy.” She made a confused face at him.

“Privacy is fear of letting people know you.”

“Jeez!” She jumped and quickly pulled the blanket into her lap when she realized his voice was a lot closer and looked up to see him looking down at her over the edge of it.

“At Dauntless, we have nothing to hide, hence the open bathroom.” He waved his arm to indicate the room.

She fought to keep her gaze focused on his face as water dripped and ran down his body. She knew what part of his anatomy was at her eye level and she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking.

“Four didn’t gawk at me when I was having a shower earlier.” She said in defiance.

Eric’s eyebrows furrowed over his steely blue eyes. “Four isn’t a true Dauntless. He’s a loner in a social faction; he even lives alone.”

“You live alone.”

“That’s because I’m a leader and I can’t have someone nosing in on my business when it comes to Jeanine’s affairs.”

“So you admit to needing privacy.” She smirked at her own cleverness.

Eric scowled down at her, realizing what she did and said, “Fine, I’ll let you shower every night without coming in and I won’t follow you in when you need to take a piss, but that’s where your privacy ends, Amity.”

He turned on his heel and went back to his shower, leaving her to grin like an idiot at her success at besting him. She finished quickly and bounced back to her bed.  
***

After finishing her delicious spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, she leaned back, expecting to start studying and was confused when Eric sat down across from her with another first aid kit beside him.

“Let’s take care of that bruise.” He said digging around the box for the ointment he needed.

“I’m confused. Why do you care if I’m patched up?” She asked.

“I can’t take you to the infirmary if you get too banged up so I need you in top condition.” He said, focusing on her cheek as he tilted her head to the side for a better look.

She didn’t protest and allowed him to smear more of the tingling ointment on her face. She had to admit that it felt better once it was rubbed in and the heat started to cool down.

“Lift up your shirt.” He ordered once he was done with her face.

Alexis leaned back. “No.”

Eric gave her a pointed look. “I got you pretty good there this morning, so I’m sure it’s hurting. Lift it up.”

She frowned, but pulled the left side up, though only to the bottom edge of her bra.

He gently rubbed in the salve and as he taped on gauze to keep her shirt from rubbing it off, his thumb skimmed the bottom of her breast when it slipped underneath her bra.

“Hey!” She pulled away.

His jaw muscle clenched and she thought she saw a glimpse of an emotion passing across his face as he looked at her, but it passed so quickly, she couldn’t tell if it was desire or anger.

She let her shirt fall back into place and scooted back up her mattress to press her back against the wall as she watched him get up and walk away.


	6. Chapter 6

_Curiosity and fear mingled inside her as Alexis walked through the dark hallways; the abrasive texture of the stone walls scrubbing the pads of her fingers as she trailed them along._

_Then the wall ended, the feeling of empty space quickly replacing the rough stone and she squealed as something wrapped itself around her wrist and pulled her._

_Light broke through the darkness and she realized she was in someone’s apartment. The hand that grabbed her dragged her into someone’s arms and she looked up to see his face._

_The deep brown eyes hypnotized her as his hand on her wrist loosened and caressed her arm. She glanced down at his full lips and realized they were slowly inching closer, but she didn’t pull away, wanting to know what his lips would feel like against hers. They brushed softly, and she closed her eyes at the tender kiss._

_Then he pressed harder and opened his mouth, his arms wrapping around to embrace her and the kiss deepened as she granted him access. Desire tingled through her limbs at the feel of his strong body against hers and the control he mastered over her._

_They broke apart for air and she smiled up at the brown eyes that were now blue. Shocked, she pulled against his strong hold, unable to escape. He grinned down at her and shoved her onto the bed._

_Alexis scrambled across the coverlet to get away, but he followed her moves and blocked her escape. Suddenly he was on top of her, holding her hands down._

_“You need to wake up, Amity.” He smirked down at her. Confused, she looked him in the eye as he hovered above her. “Get up!” He shouted at her._

Alexis jolted awake for the second night in a row and smacked her head into Eric’s.

“Ow!” She cried and fell back into her pillow, rubbing her forehead vigorously.

“What the fuck was that for?!” Eric said, massaging his own head.

“You’re the one who scared me awake! What do you want?” She said, cringing in pain.

Through clenched teeth he replied, “We’re going somewhere, so get dressed,” and walked away.

“What now?” She grumbled as she pulled her pants on over top the pajama shorts she wore to sleep.

They walked down the eerily familiar dark corridors, reminiscent of her dream and she warily looked at Eric out of the corner of her eye.

As they turned corners and ascended staircases, which to her fear did not include railings to keep her from falling over the steep edge, they arrived in a large room that was brightly lit from the moonlight glowing through the hole in the ceiling.

Alexis stared up in amazement, wondering where they were. It was just like the rest of Dauntless, cut out of rock, their jagged edges glowing in the dim light. There were more pathways along each level as she trailed her eyes upward, all without railings and she thought they had to be crazy.

She had apparently stopped to stare around the room, because Eric was far ahead of her when she finally remembered why she was there and jogged to catch up.

They kept going up staircase after staircase until finally they reached the highest level overlooking the pit. Alexis was hit with vertigo and stumbled back from the edge before she could fall over, and bumped into Eric who was walking beside her.

His hand steadied her, but the look he bore her was stony. “Watch your step, Amity.”

Embarrassed, she stepped back and walked along the wall behind him.

“What is this place?” She asked, trying to get over the uneasy feeling growing in her stomach.

“The Pit.” He replied. “It’s where everyone hangs out and does their shopping.”

“Okay… And what are we doing, if it’s not shopping?”

“You’ll see.” He said, still facing forward.

They went into another corridor that was so pitch black she couldn’t even see her own hand in front of her face, and they had to feel their way up the stairs.

A couple of times she bumped into his backside as they ascended and the third time, after pushing him off balance, he said, “Will you stop that!”

“I can’t! I can’t even see you in front of me in here.” She snapped.

She felt him grab hold of her arm and drag her in front of him. He then held her by the waist one handed and gently pushed her forward. She kept going up, trying to ignore his touch, and lost her footing as it slipped off the step above her; her backside butted him in the crotch.

“Jeez, Amity. Have you become a klutz all of a sudden?” He growled, both hands now on her hips to keep himself from falling backwards.

Uncomfortable with the position they were in, she scrambled back up and slowly continued upward with his hands burning holes into the fabric of her shirt.

Finally, Alexis hit metal with her foot and quickly felt for the handle of the door. It swung open and a cool breeze brushed passed her face, cooling her blushing cheeks.

Eric dropped his hands from her body and stepped out from behind her. She didn’t pay any attention to him as he walked over to the edge of the building, because she was staring out over the city.

She’d seen the night sky a million times in Amity, but never like this. It was beautiful. The sky was lit up with a quarter moon and a billion tiny stars blinked in and out, making the buildings appear black in comparison.

“We don’t have all night, Amity.” Eric called from across the rooftop.

She reluctantly joined him by the edge and asked, “Why are we out here in the middle of the night?”

“It’s too risky to take you through the Pit during the day.” He said, looking out over the edge and pointed. “And that’s why we’re here.”

She leaned over and looked down. “I don’t get it.” She said when she saw nothing out of the ordinary. It was just a big shadow of nothingness at the bottom.

“You’re going to jump.” He smirked at her.

“Like hell I am.” She backed up.

“Yes, you are.” He grabbed her again with lightning reflexes and drew her back.

Scared, she pulled against his strong grip. “You’re out of your mind.”

“No, I’m not, it’s a Dauntless tradition. Down there is a hole at the top of the building and it’s the entrance to Dauntless that all initiates have to go through when they first get here.”

“And they just jump?” She asked, her features screwed up in disbelief.

“Sometimes they need a push.”

She could see he was serious and asked, “What’s the point of this?”

“It shows us that you’re serious about becoming a member, but in this case, I want to see how brave you are. Payback’s a bitch.” He smirked at her and she realized this was his way of getting her back for the bathroom battle.

“You’re seriously getting back at me for making you admit something you didn’t want to, with this?” She gestured to the hole.

“You bet your ass I am.” He said with mild amusement. “Better get going or Four’s going to think you aren’t jumping and leave.”

“Four’s down there?” It was a relief and a surprise to hear that. “Is something going to catch me?”

“Depends on whether Four got it up on time or not.” He shrugged calmly.

“What?!”

Eric rolled his eyes. “I’m getting impatient with your stalling. Are you going to go or not?”

“I’m not!” She answered with force.

Eric’s face hardened and her heart stopped the second before he pushed her over the edge. She fell backwards and an ear piercing scream left her mouth as the view of his face got smaller as he watched her drop into the blackness.

She thought she was going to pass out until she hit something and sprang back up into the air. She fell back down and bounced a few times before laying still, her heart thumping wildly back to life. She shrieked when the net moved.

“Whoa, it’s just me, Alexis.” Four calmed her.

“Four.” She breathed out, searching for his face in the dark. She spotted him when her eyes adjusted and rolled over so he could help her down.

Alexis’s emotions were wreaking havoc inside her and she wanted to hit someone and cry in the corner at the same time, but she wasn’t sure which one would make her feel better more.

_How could he do that to me? Make me believe there was a real possibility I could die and just shove me off because it suited him_. She ranted in her head as she paced back and forth.

Four placed a hand on her shoulder and made her look at him. “Hey, are you alright?”

Her anger was the only thing keeping her from weeping, but she softened at his concern and a single tear managed to escape. Holding back a sob, she nodded. She didn’t want to look weak in front of him.

“All clear?” Eric’s voice echoed down.

Four was clearly irritated at having to acknowledge Eric’s presence and impatiently shouted back, “You’re a go!”

They both watched as he jumped, and unlike Alexis’ way down, the only sound in the room was the spring of the net as it caught his weight and tossed him back up.

The net was about ten feet off the floor, but Four didn’t bother going over to help him because Eric was already using his upper body strength to lower himself down.

“What was that, Eric? You never said you were going to push her off.” Four confronted him face to face.

Eric straightened and gave him a cool look. “You shouldn’t be questioning me, unless you want to start cleaning the toilets?” He said with a raised eyebrow.

He ignored Four’s look of anger and went around him to Alexis. “Let’s go.”

She flinched away from him when he tried to take her arm and escort her back to the dorm.

“Don’t touch me.” She hissed at him.

He froze and frowned in annoyance. “Don’t be over dramatic.”

“Fuck you.” She spat back. “I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

“Yeah? I don’t see how you have a say in that.” He looked smugly at her.

“Eric…” Four warned just before Alexis slapped Eric hard across the face.

“I thought I was going to die, you sadistic bastard! You think you can just throw people around like their rag dolls, but we’re not! I refuse to go back to that room with you.” She yelled at him, not caring that her face was now streaked with tears.

Eric had taken the slap with composure, and stood emotionless during her verbal fury. Once she was done he said, “Refusal won’t do much against me physically carrying your ass there.”

Alexis narrowed her eyes at him in anger. “Maybe not, but my screaming the whole way there will. I don’t think alerting everyone to my presence would suit your needs either.”

Eric searched her eyes for a minute before his lips lifted slightly at the corner.

“Fine, Four can stay with you the rest of the night.” He said and immediately walked away with pride, pissing her off.

“I hope you trip over the edge and smash your arrogant face on every jagged rock on your way down to the bottom of the pit!” She screamed after him and a faint chuckled echoed back. She kicked at the wall beside her in immense fury.

“Hey. You need to cool down.” Four tried to calm her, but she rounded on him instead.

“You need to help me get out of here.”

“I can’t do that.” He protested calmly.

“You mean you won’t do it. What has he got on you, Four? I know Four isn’t your real name, so what is it? Does he know? Is that what he’s holding over you?” She went off on him, poking her index finger into his chest.

He grabbed her hand to stop her from jabbing him again and held it tightly in his. Looking her straight in the eye he said, “If there was any other way, I promise I would have gotten you out the first day I found you, but there isn’t. Trust me, please.” He pleaded.

_Darn it, Four! You and you’re puppy dog eyes!_ She cried in her head and gave up, resting her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her in comfort and they stood like that for a short while before heading back.


	7. Chapter 7

A few hours after being pushed off the roof, Alexis was giving the heavy punching bag in the training room a good thrashing, imagining it was Eric. Thankfully he hadn’t shown his smug face yet and it was Four who was working out alongside her.

Sweat ran down her temples and her shirt clung to her, but her anger was enough motivation for her to keep at it despite the muscle fatigue. She wanted to wipe that pretentious look off Eric’s face forever and she had to be strong to do it.

“Let’s take a break.” Four said and stopped his bag from swinging.

His chest heaved with the intake of breath, making his own wet t-shirt cling more to his chiseled abdomen, but she was too pissed off to enjoy the view and kept hitting her bag, not taking her eyes off it when he spoke.

“Come on, Alexis, we need water.” He tried coaxing her away from the bag.

Reluctant to stop, she ignored him and threw her body weight into her next punch.

“Alexis, stop. That’s an order.” He said firmly, moving in front of her to grab the bag.

She glared at him and said, “I’ll stop when you tell me your real name.”

She thought it would be a great way to get him to back off since he hadn’t answered last night, and was taken aback when he uttered his next words.

“Tobias Eaton.” He said gazing at her steadily.

Alexis didn’t recognize the name right away and stopped to look at him confused.

_Eaton? Where have I heard that name before?_ She pondered and an idea came to her.

“Are you related to Marcus Eaton?”

“I’m his son.” He nodded slightly in response.

“What’s so bad about being his son that you don’t want people to know who you are?” She asked, hands resting on her hips.

Four’s jaw flexed. “He was abusive and I didn’t want everyone in Dauntless to know I’m a coward who ran from him.”

Alexis froze, her heart instantly breaking for him and she completely forgot about Eric.

“Four, I’m sorry.” She breathed out in a sigh and touched his arm gently. “You’re not a coward...”

“I am.” He interrupted her. “I should have stayed in Abnegation, it’s where I belong, but I couldn’t take the beatings anymore. I wanted to go somewhere far away and learn how to be strong.” He said.

She was silent for a minute, absorbing his confession, and then asked, “Why did you tell me your secret?”

He sighed and said, “I thought about it all night and decided it’s important that you know you can trust me.”

She looked into his unwavering gaze and felt honored that he trusted her with his deepest secret.

“Thank you for trusting me too,” She said and raised her arm to caress his cheek, “but I think you’re wrong about being a coward. You chose to start over and be the better man and that’s never easy, especially in a faction full of brutes like Eric.” She smiled softly at him.

They shared a moment of silence until the sound of slow clapping turned their attention to Eric who was leaning against the wall by the entrance and Alexis dropped her hand from Four’s face.

“That was such a touching moment. Were you two going to fuck now? Because if you were then I can just wait over here.” He sneered at them.

Alexis’ anger returned and she replied, “Is that the only way you can get off now, by watching others? I’m sure it gets tough to get it up when the girls always laugh at how small it is.”

He gave her a bored look and pushed himself off the wall. “We’ve got fear training, follow me.” He said and he strode out of the room not waiting for her to follow.

Alexis looked at Four. “Is he going to push me off another roof?”

Four smirked. “He has no control over your fears, only you do, so if you’re afraid of it, then maybe. Just remember, it’s not real.”

She nodded and turned to leave. “Aren’t you coming too?” She called back when she noticed he wasn’t coming with her.

“Sorry, I’m on camera duty this afternoon, but I’ll see you later.” He said picking up a towel and wrapping it around his neck.

She gave him a quick wave and casually walked out of the room, not caring if Eric got mad that she was so far behind. He was nowhere in sight though and she realized she had no idea where she was going. Slightly worried, Alexis kept walking and around the corner she found him angrily waiting for her, but he didn’t say anything at her appearance and started walking again.

She followed him to the room with the aptitude testing chair and even though it was only three days ago, it felt like it had been a lifetime since the last time she was in that room.

Not sure what was involved with fear training, she assumed it was similar to the aptitude test and sat down in the chair. She watched Eric turn on the computer and type away.

“This is what’s going to happen: I’m going to inject you with this serum, and then you will begin to experience one of your fears while I watch it on the screen.” He said indicating the gun next to him on the table.

Alexis’ pulse sped up at the sight of it. She hated needles with such a passion that it almost distracted her from hearing the rest of what Eric was saying.

“The only way out of your fear is by either getting your heart rate down to a normal level or by facing it and I will end the simulation.” He said matter-of-factly.

“Can’t I just drink the serum or something?” She asked, feeling nauseous.

“No, it needs to target the part of your brain that controls your fears.” He answered, giving her a curious look.

Her chest squeezed tightly at his words and she felt light headed as her breaths became shorter and quicker. Who needed a simulation when one of your worst fears was right in front of you?

Eric, obviously recognizing a panic attack, gently pushed her head between her knees and held her there, telling her to take deep breaths. It took a few minutes but her breathing eventually became regular again.

“Are you going to live?” He asked with sarcasm, letting her raise her head slowly.

Alexis leaned heavily back into the chair and feeling slightly dizzy said, “If you want me to go through with this, then I need to hold your hand.”

“What?”

“It’s not like it’s something I want to do either, just give me your fucking hand.” She demanded and grabbed the hand closest to her.

It was warm compared to her chilled one and the calluses on his fingers were rough on her skin. It was her anchor to reality and she gripped it as she closed her eyes and breathed in and out.

Eric didn’t pull away and without saying a word he pressed the gun to her neck and quickly pulled the trigger before she could freak out again.

_Alexis woke up strapped to a chair in an unfamiliar room. It was dim with red and blue neon lights shining in the background and the walls were covered with pictures of tattoos._

_Realizing where she was, Alexis jerked at the restraints on her wrists and ankles, trying to break free, but they only grew tighter with each movement. Then Eric walked into the room and sat down next to her. He picked up a needle off the tray and smirked._

_“Want to get a tattoo, Amity? How about ‘Divergent’ written across your forehead?” He taunted, a malicious laugh escaping his beautiful lips._

_The needle turned on and its’ buzzing rang in her ears, drowning out Eric’s mirth at her discomfort; her bonds cut into her skin as her struggles resumed. She whipped her head to the side to avoid the tattoo needle he lifted up and saw her reflection in the mirror beside her._

_Looking into her own golden brown eyes, her reflection said, “This isn’t real.”_

_“That’s right. This is only a simulation.” She said to herself out loud._

_She turned back to her tormenter and blew on the needle. It disintegrated before her eyes and Eric looked surprised. She closed her eyes as the room went dark._

Then she could feel someone’s hand gripping her own again and opened her eyes to see Eric watching her. She flinched quickly, believing she was still in her fear landscape and then noticed the room was different and relaxed. She slipped her hand out of his and fisted it in her lap.

“What? No sarcastic remarks about how cowardly I am?” She grumbled, looking down at the floor.

She was thoroughly embarrassed by the fact that he saw her freaking out and then his appearance in her fear, as if he didn’t already have enough on her.

“Everyone has fears, even Four.” He replied with resentment.

Alexis picked up on it and ignored all other feelings beside curiosity.

“What’s up with you two? I mean besides you killing your trainer and all.” She flippantly asked.

Eric turned and glared at her. “It’s none of your business, Amity.”

His tone didn’t faze her and she smirked. “I doubt that’s what Four will say when I ask him.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him as he studied her in thought; the cogs inside his head clearly working overtime, but he remained silent.

_Okay, I can play along._ She thought. If he could be an assuming a-hole, then she could be too.

“Did the itty-bitty Stiff hurt the big bad Erudite’s feelings or something?” She patronized him.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Who told you I was from Erudite?”

“Come on, it’s pretty obvious.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re working for Jeanine and you’re too smart, too calculated to be 100% Dauntless. So what happened? Did he beat you up during initiation?”

Eric’s fist clenched as it lay on his leg. “Erudites and Stiffs don’t get along and that’s it.” He said and looked away.

“I think he made you look weak and you’re holding the leader card over him because of it.” She pressed. “Admitting to your weaknesses isn’t going to make me think less of you when I already have a very low opinion…”

“Yes!” He burst out and she flinched in her seat. He then collected himself with a huff and said, “I’ve had enough of this interrogation, get out.”

Stunned by the order, she left the room and paused. Something was up, because he told her to never go anywhere unattended and curious about what he was doing in there, she peeked through the window.

Eric sat on the chair she just vacated with his head in his hands and let out a low growl, kicking the machine in front of him with a crash as it dangerously tipped to the side before falling back into place.

It was apparent she struck a raw nerve and Alexis pulled away from the window feeling guilty.

“What am I doing? This isn’t supposed to be me.” She whispered to herself as she backed away from the door in shock that she could taunt someone so easily.

She finally snapped out of it when she somehow ended up back in the dorm alone and went to the washroom to splash water on her face. It was cool against her stinging eyes and she leaned over the sink to stare at her reflection.

She looked the same, minus the dark circles under her eyes, and she wondered if the cruelty was buried within herself all this time waiting to come out or if it was new.

Her necklace slipped out from behind her t-shirt and sparkled as if it was on display; a sob caught in her throat at the sight of it.

_What would my parents say if they knew?_ She wondered. _They would be so disappointed in me, they’d be glad I’m not their daughter anymore_.

A tear escaped its confines at the thought and broke open the dam. Alexis clutched her pendant and sat down on the floor to cry.  
***

  
“What is this?” Eric’s voice carried through the bathroom and stopped her mid wail. She sniffed and hastily wiped her tears with the palm of her hand.

“Nothing.” She mumbled and stood up.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” He said with a raised brow.

“I said it was nothing.” She ground out and tried to pass him, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“I haven’t seen this before. Where did you get it?” He indicated her necklace with a nod of the head.

She immediately went to cover it, but he was faster and he pulled it off her neck with a snap.

“No!” She desperately tried to grab it from him, but he held it out of reach.

“Answer me.” He said.

“It’s mine! My mother passed it to me on my choosing day.” She said, still trying to get it by pulling on his arm to lower it.

“Your family and Amity are nothing to you now, so you might as well forget about them.” He shook her off and pocketed the piece of jewelry.

Alexis ground her teeth together in anger. “Just because you’re holding me prisoner and trying to make me more Dauntless doesn’t mean I don’t still care about the people I love.”

“Feelings like love only get in the way. You’ll be better off without it,” Was his callous reply.

“Fine, just let me rip my heart out for you then. Obviously you need it more than I do.” She pretended to remove her heart and smacked her fist into his chest hard before storming away.

Eric stood there calmly as she left.


	8. Chapter 8

_The sun was shining down on her back and its’ warmth chased away the chill that clung to her body as she walked up to her house. The sound of her sisters’ laughter brought a smile to her face and she pushed open the door._

_Her entire family was sitting down at the table for dinner, but her youngest sister, Amy, dashed out of her seat and into Alexis’ arms when they looked up to see her. With a laugh, she lifted Amy up in a hug and then set her down again to embrace everyone else as they approached._

_“You’re home!” Erin cried and Alexis smiled into her sister’s golden hair._

_“I am for now.” She said, noticing that she was still in her Dauntless outfit._

_She was in the middle of laughing at a joke her brother, Joshua, said to everyone when they stopped and stared at the door. Alexis followed their gaze and turned to look._

_Eric stood in the doorway watching them and her heart plummeted into her stomach when she noticed the gun in his hand. The cool solid feel of a gun appeared in her own hand and she looked down, startled at the feel of it._

_She shook her head and began to back up, fear and dread mingling within her. She knew what he wanted and she knew she couldn’t do it._

_Eric raised his gun and pointed it at her. “Do it.”_

_She looked at the barrel staring her down and then back at her family. Could she choose between her life and her family’s?_

_No._

_The gun felt unnatural in her hand, but she lifted it up and swung it at Eric anyway, firing two shots into his chest._

_The room faded away and she was back in the fear simulation room, sitting across from Eric. He chuckled and shook his head._

_“You’ve got balls, shooting me like that. But hey, that’s what I wanted right? You saved your ass by killing me instead of your family, but the end result was the same. You killed someone without a single thought about it.” He said and leaned in closer. “You’re no better than me now.”_

_“What?” She asked, fear choking her._

_“You’re cold, ruthless, Dauntless…” He whispered into her ear and she shook her head in denial as tears streaked down her face._

_“I can’t, I can’t be like you.” She pleaded as his voice echoed around the room._

_“Just remember, it’s not real.” Four’s voice whispered inside her head._

_Her tears slowed when she heard it and she sniffled as she calmed her heart rate._

It went dark once again and she could taste the salty water on her lips when she woke up. Instead of wiping them away she left them, too miserable to care if Eric saw them. He’d already seen her two fears so what difference did it make?

Eric didn’t look at her, his jaw clenching as he stared at the blank screen. Sometime during her fear landscape he must have let go of her hand, because he was now gripping his legs.

“Am I going to be in all of your fear landscapes?” He asked, sounding dejected.

“How do I know? You’re the Erudite smart ass.” She mumbled and hugged herself; she felt sick to her stomach.

He finally turned his cold stare on her. “For someone who is clearly terrified of me, you sure do like to talk back.”

She shrugged, the fight gone from her. She just wanted to get out of there and away from him.

“You look like you’re going to barf.”

“I think I might.” She quietly moaned and took the bucket Eric quickly handed her for this purpose, shoving it under her face just in time as she heaved.

“Ugh…” Alexis groaned when she was finished.

Eric gently tugged her out of the chair and ushered her back to the room to lay down with the bucket on the floor.

_This must be why we’re doing fear training at the end of the day._ She thought and rolled over, promptly falling asleep.  
***

  
“Hey.” Someone said and nudged her awake.

Alexis turned over and peeked through tired eyes at Four. She pulled herself up onto her elbows and said, “Hey.”

“Eric mentioned you vomited after the simulation today. How are you feeling now?” He asked, concerned as he sat down on the bed across from hers.

“Umm… Okay I guess.” She answered, noticing that her stomach was no longer churning. She looked around the dim room for Eric. “Where did he go?”

“He dropped you off and ordered me to check in on you while he went to the gym. I figured I’d wake you this time so you could eat dinner.” He explained, picking up the bowl of soup from beside him and passing it to her.

“Thanks.” She gratefully accepted the bowl and took a spoonful. It was minestrone and delicious, but didn’t quite make her appetite return.

“What did you see today that made you sick?” He asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

“I was visiting my family in Amity when Eric came and told me to kill them, but I couldn’t do it and I shot him instead, then I had another one with him in it… He told me I was becoming like him, cold and ruthless. It scared the crap out of me, because it’s true.” She told him, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“You’re not turning into him, Alexis.” Four tried to reassure her.

“But I’ve seen it, Four. I’m vicious when I fight, like I’m no longer a person, but an animal fighting to survive, and I’m don’t recognize the rest of me. I’m quick to anger and a smart ass, just like him.” She said sadly.

“That may be so with Eric, but with me you’re sweet and funny and I’ll be honest, I rather enjoy it when you stand up to him.” He smiled softly and she gave him a shy smirk in return.

“Besides, you’ve always had those qualities within you because you’re Divergent, they were just supressed because you weren’t allowed to show them. They make you who you are and you should embrace them.” He said.

Alexis frowned and set aside her forgotten dinner. “I don’t know…” She said and curled her legs underneath her.

Sensing her doubt he said with sincerity, “If it makes any difference, I like all of you, smart ass and all.”

She gave him a slight smile and lied, “Maybe a little.”

She didn’t feel better though, because she knew Eric hated her softer sides and was trying to squash them permanently. She had no idea how she was going to stop him either.

Wanting to change the subject, she remembered how Eric reacted the other day when he confessed to Four besting him somehow and wanting to know the details, asked Four.

Four shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, you know I came from Abnegation so obviously I was weak, but because my father beat me I learned how to fight through the pain and when I managed to win all of my fights they put me against Eric.

“At the beginning he was the best in our class and he would have won if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s arrogant, but he opened his mouth and I got the best of him to win. He underestimated me when he shouldn’t have. And the fact that I only have four fears compared to his twelve didn’t help his dislike of me either.” He explained.

“So that’s where you got the name Four.” She said in an Aha moment. “Eric has twelve, huh? Do you know any of them?”

He shook his head. “No. He never moved during his fear simulations so none of us could tell what he was afraid of, only Amar saw them on the screen, but we knew from the control he had over his body that he was the one to beat.”

Great…  
***

  
Eric had Alexis in a tight hold with her arm bent between her back and his torso. She cringed at the pain in her elbow and shoulder, but didn’t fight to get out of it.

Every morning Eric insisted they spar at least once to keep her in shape after endurance training, but this morning she had no will and this was the third fight he forced her to do after losing the others.

With a growl, Eric shoved her away from him and she rubbed her arm.

“What’s the matter with you?” He barked at her.

She shrugged and turned to get some water, but he hauled her back to face him. He stared down his nose at her, his blue eyes sparkling with fury.

“Do you think you can just stop at any time when you don’t feel like it anymore? Because that’s not how this works.”

She stood up straight and looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to be this person.” She said, gesturing to all the fighting equipment. “I want to be who I was before all this.”

“Well, that’s too bad, because I only need you to think like an Amity and Abnegation, not act like them. I need you to act Dauntless and Erudite.” He replied with restrained anger.

“I said… I don’t want to do this!” She stepped closer and tried to get into his face, but he was a good nine inches taller than her and she had to supress the feeling of vulnerability it caused.

“What makes you think that you can just get away with anything you want? If I’m making sacrifices to pull this shit off, then you can too.” He snarled.

Alexis scoffed. “What sacrifices are you talking about? From what I can see, you’re Jeanine and Max’s special pet and you get everything you want! You can push people around if they just look at you funny, for crying out loud!”

The muscle in his jaw jumped as he looked away. “Sacrifices that you don’t need to know about.”

“Maybe I do need to know.” She gripped her hips, determined to get an answer.

He stopped himself from walking away and faced her. “Look, I’m not here to make you feel better about yourself. I’m here to make you a better Divergent, so stop wallowing and get your head back on straight.”

“Why do I need to be a better Divergent, Eric?” She pressed.

He smirked and said, “You really want to know why? Okay, I’ll tell you.” He rubbed his chin with an evil grin. “All the others Jeanine’s used have died, unable to complete the task because they couldn’t handle the test.”

Alexis’ body froze. _Okay… That’s not surprising news, so then, why can’t I breathe?_ She thought.

“What test?” She managed to choke out.

Eric’s grin fell a little. “Jeanine got her hands on a box Abnegation has been hiding since the beginning of the factions and wants to know what’s inside. The only problem is… A Divergent has to open it by using all the faction aptitudes and you’ve been the closest with four out of five. That’s why she sent over those books, so you could learn as much as you could before attempting to open it. She’s tired of waiting and doesn’t want you to fail.”

Alexis did not like the sound of that.

_If I don’t open that box I’m dead, but if I do I’m probably still dead._ She cringed inside, her depression turning into fear.

She looked him in the eye and didn’t see any remorse for what he had just told her and knew then she had to kill him if she wanted to be free.  
***

  
That night for dinner it was steak and Alexis cut her meat with shaking hands.

Her fear this afternoon was worse than the others and she couldn’t shake the memory of it, even sitting in the dorm hours later.

_It was dark where she was and she couldn’t see anything around her, but a breeze whistled through a crack somewhere and the smell of copper burned her nostrils._

_Footsteps crunched behind her and she whirled around to see who it was, but whoever was there was shining a flashlight into Alexis’ eyes, making it hard to see the person behind the light._

_“You did better than I ever thought possible, Alexis.” Jeanine Matthews chuckled, making Alexis wanted to rip out her throat when she recognized who it was._

_“Now, now, no need to get upset.” Jeanine said at her look of fury. “It’s all over.”_

_“What’s all over?” Alexis asked._

_“Why, the war, my dear!” Jeanine said and Alexis could hear the smile in her voice._

_The light moved away and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust back to the darkness so she could follow it. It steadied on a hand lying on the ground and travelled up the body of a man in grey she’d never seen before, and then continued onto a woman of the same faction and a child from Candor, hugging._

_Alexis covered her mouth at the sight, but quickly pulled her hands away when she realized they were covered in blood. She watched them tremble in front of her face, mesmerized by the sticky red liquid._

_The light grew brighter and showed more of the room, taking her attention away from her hands. The old building was filled with bodies piled over each other, all from different factions, and with a shaky breath she asked, “Did I do this?”_

_“You did.” Eric’s voice echoed behind her and she didn’t bother to look at him, stunned by the sight before her._

_Tears spilled down her cheeks and she looked at every face, searching for her family. At the corner of the room though, she did recognize someone. He was dressed in black, his short brown hair too dark against the paleness of his skin._

_“Four!” She wailed and ran over to him. She placed his head in her lap and left smears of red as she tried to wake him, but it was no use._

Her misery was so great that she couldn’t focus on anything but the emotional pain and Eric had to bring her out of it after twenty minutes of relentless crying. He even gave her a sedative to calm down afterward and carried her back to the dorm to sleep it off.

Her dreams did not give her peace though as images continuously ran through her head until Eric woke her up for dinner before heading into the shower.

Her knife screeched on the plate as it slipped from her hand and nicked the pad of her left pointer finger; she instinctively stuck it in her mouth to suck on it.

She was a wreck and the thought of having to go through another simulation was terrifying. It was either her or him, she decided, and if she was going to go through with her escape, then it had to be tonight.

Pulling her finger out of her mouth to inspect the wound, an idea popped into her head. She had a weapon, and one he gave to her willingly.

The sound of water splashing in the background brought to her attention the fact that he was currently vulnerable and Alexis knew she was never going to get a better opportunity than right now to attack.

Incredibly nervous, but desperate, she quietly stood up from her bed, praying it wouldn’t squeak at the absence of her weight, and padded across the room to peer around the corner of the bathroom entrance.

Eric had his back to her, his firm bare buttocks facing her as he washed his hair and she tried to talk herself into doing it.

_Alright, one quick stab to the neck and he’ll bleed out before he can catch you. You can do this, Alexis_.

With a deep breath, she gripped her knife tight and tiptoed up behind him, but as she went to jab him with the blade, her foot slipped on the wet floor and slashed his upper arm instead.

Eric yelped from the pain and turned in surprise. They stared at each other in shock for what felt like a lifetime, but what was probably only a millisecond, before his expression focused and he grabbed her wrist.

She tried to tug herself out of his grip, but instead he twisted her around and pulled her into his body so he could immobilize her by wrapping his arms around hers and trapping her hands beneath them. He then yanked the knife out of her grasp and threw it across the room. Alexis broke down at the sound of it hitting the wall and landing on the tiled floor.

At the sound of her sobs, Eric slid them both down the wall without loosening his hold on her and he let her cry as she sat between his legs.

“I just want to go home.” She muttered over and over as the water pounded down on their heads and soaked her through.

As she calmed and became quiet, Eric gruffly asked, “Are you done?”

She didn’t reply and stared blankly at the wall across from them. Eric not waiting for an answer got up and pulled her with him before wrapping his towel around her and steering her back to her bed. He gently laid her down and Alexis rolled so she faced away from him.

“Get some sleep.” He said to her back and she listened to the sound of his bare feet slapping on the cement floor as he walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning Alexis felt tired and sore, her depression quickly taking over now that she knew she was doomed to her fate. Eric had woken her up at 5 am and as she shuffled behind him to the training room in silence, she expected the worst. She didn’t really care what he did to her at this point, though, and was curious to see Four already there.

“What happened to your arm?” Four asked Eric as he stared at the bandage that covered his upper right arm.

Eric glanced at her and said with an air of coolness, “It’s nothing, just someone trying to kill me last night.”

Four regarded her too with a knowing look and the corners of his mouth twisted downward. “I told you, Eric.” He said and Eric gave him a pointed look.

“Clearly someone needs a break so we’re going on a little field trip.” He said, ignoring Four.

_A field trip?_ She perked up slightly.

“Here, put this on.” Eric tossed her a black hoodie that was probably his, because when she put it on it engulfed her. It was also warm and faintly smelled of sweat and cologne.

_Eau du Eric_ , she thought with repulsion and wanted to rip it off, but managed to refrain.

They walked the silent halls, Four with his hand on her arm to steer her since she was blind folded, and the smell of fresh air hit her as they exited the compound.

Someone removed the fabric over her eyes and she found herself facing train tracks in the early morning light. They patiently waited a few minutes for the train to arrive and as it neared she watched in confusion as Eric and Four prepared to run.

“Come on, Alexis. We have to jump on.” Four called to her as he began jogging.

_What?!_

She didn’t want to jump onto a moving train! What if she missed and fell under and got crushed! Between jumping off roofs and onto trains, she had no idea how any of them lived past initiation.

Impatient, Eric grabbed her hand and pulled her along as he raced to keep up with the train car and swung her in when they got close to the open door. He then fell behind from the movement and had to push himself harder to grab the bar and pull himself in.

Four was already on, sitting against the far wall away from the open door and Alexis sat down next to him as Eric stood and watched the city wiz by.

He actually looked relaxed as he leaned against the door frame, obviously not worried about falling out and beside her Four had a small smile tugging on his lips.

The energy around her was excited and she felt herself letting go of all the negative feelings she had pent up as the thought of actually being outside in the sun filled her with joy.

Sometime later Eric straightened up and said it was time. Four took her hand this time and gave it a reassuring squeeze as he helped her up.

“We can jump together.” He said giving her a smile.

“You’re both crazy.” She muttered, returning his infectious grin and followed him to the edge.

Eric jumped first and gracefully landed on his feet, taking only a few steps to slow his momentum, and Four counted to three quickly. Alexis closed her eyes and pushed off when he called out ‘three’ and felt her body sail through the air before her feet hit the ground with a jolt.

Her knees buckled under her and she felt herself falling forward until Four caught her in his arms and pulled her close as he slowed them both down.

She opened her eyes when they stopped and looked up to see him smiling down at her. She beamed back in thanks and relief, and freed herself from his embrace. She then pulled the hood off her head and looked around.

They were at the pier and Eric was glaring at them off to the side. She narrowed her eyes back at him and he turned and walked away. Then Four nudged her and went after him.

She followed them at a brisk pace and when she turned the corner a beam of sunlight hit her face on and she stopped. It was incredibly warm and she soaked it up with wide arms, closing her eyes in bliss at the feeling of sunlight once again on her skin after days of darkness.

She stood there for a while until she felt someone staring at her. Opening her eyes, she saw Eric standing far ahead, watching her. He looked like he was going to chastise her, but thought better of it and decided to wait for her to finish.

Uncomfortable with the way he was staring at her, Alexis lowered her arms and jogged to catch up, praying inside he wouldn’t open his mouth. Thankfully and rather surprisingly he didn’t. He let her pass him without a word and followed close behind to where Four stood with three guns.

_What are we going to do with those?_ She wondered.

It was clear that Eric wouldn’t kill her when Jeanine was counting on her to pass that test so she wasn’t worried about that, but who knew what else he had up his sleeve.

He took one of the guns from Four and said, “We’re going to play a game. Normally the initiates team up and find flags, but since we’re only three we’ll do every man for himself and try not to get shot.” He explained and cocked an eyebrow at her.

Alexis swallowed. She still wasn’t very good at shooting moving objects, but nodded anyway. She hoped these weren’t real guns…

“These are just paintball guns,” Four said, he must have read the worry on her face, “but you shoot them the same way as the other guns you’ve trained with, okay? They still pack a punch so avoid them if you can.” He said, handing one to her. She took it from him and was surprised by its’ weight.

“Pick a direction and wait five minutes, then the game will begin. If you are shot, lay down until the winner blows their whistle.” Eric said, tossing her a whistle on a string. She caught it one handed and put it on.

“Good luck, Alexis. You too, Eric.” Four said with a nod to each of them.

“I’m not going to need it. I was always a better shot than you, Four.” Eric grinned and saluted him before running off into the run down gaming booths behind him.

Alexis was stunned. She’d never seen him smile for real before and he was breathtakingly handsome when he did. She glanced at Four and he gave her a shrug.

“Want to team up against him?” He asked.

“Isn’t that cheating?” She smirked.

“Yeah, but he’s right. The two of us would only make it fair against him with a gun.”

“Then how did you make it top of the class if he was better at shooting?” She asked.

“I was better at knives and our fear simulations on top of beating him in the last fight.” He explained.

“Oh. Okay then.” She smiled and followed him in the opposite direction that Eric went.

While they waited the five minutes, Alexis quickly picked up some hand signals Four showed her to use for communication and they made a plan.

“Eric has good aim, so stay low and out of sight. He’s also pretty quick on his feet for a big guy, but he tends to underestimate his opponent.” Four advised.

“Okay.” She nodded. “So what should we do?”

“Well, I tend to win our war games, because I pick the smaller and quicker team when he goes for brawn, but it’s just him and he’s smart. He’ll be expecting you to hide, because you’re not a good shot, no offense, and me to seek him out.” He talked it through.

“Then, I think I should be the decoy and get his attention while you shoot him from a distance.” She suggested, because he was the better shot.

“Sounds like a plan.” He agreed and they set off.

They crept out slowly, hiding behind anything big enough to cover them and made their way closer to the Ferris wheel. Then, Four gave her the signal to break off and go straight as he went around to what they hoped would be Eric’s back.

When he was out of eye sight, Alexis pulled her trigger and shot a nearby bench to lure Eric in; cringing at the loud splatter the paintball made as it hit and broke open. She then kneeled down and waited for Eric to show up.

It didn’t take long, but she almost missed him. He was surprisingly light footed and it was his shot at Four that alerted her to his presence. She popped her head around the tree she hid behind, but didn’t see him so she randomly fired again.

_There he is_. She thought when his head peeked over a trash can fifteen feet away and looked in her direction.

He frowned and looked in the area Four went and she got worried. Wanting him to come closer to her, she fired again, this time hitting the wall beside him and effectively making him shrink back in reflex.

She waited for him to fire back, but it never came and she peered out again to see him scuttle off in the opposite direction. Clearly he knew it was her and decided Four was a better target to get rid of first. Unsure of what to do, she thought about going to help, but the sound of gunshots going off and a cry of pain told her it was too late.

“Teaming up, huh?! I see you’re not against cheating, Amity!” Eric called out.

Oh shit. That meant Four was down and it was up to her. She darted to the next tree and then another before he reappeared and she picked up a rock and tossed it the other way to distract him.

It worked, because he ran that way and she quickly climbed the tree she was currently behind and covered herself with the dense foliage. Holding her breath, she waited as he came back, not bothering to shield himself or hide, and aimed.

_He definitely underestimates me_. She growled internally and resisted the urge to shoot him on the spot.

She watched him look left and right with his gun at eye level; ready to strike as he came closer. When he was two feet away she held down her trigger and watched as her ammunition painted his black vest green.

“Fuck!” Eric cursed and hastily backed away from the onslaught.

With a large grin she blew her whistle and Four was there by the time she climbed down. They high fived in celebration and she noted the two blue circles of paint that overlapped above his heart. He was not kidding, Eric was a great shot.

“I’ll admit, that was well played, Amity.” Eric said, rubbing his own chest where her random shots covered him.

_Did he just compliment me?_ She asked herself, taken aback, but smiled in thanks anyway.

“But, I won’t be taken a fool again.” He warned with amusement brightening his eyes and she melted a little bit at how it made them look warm instead of their usual coldness.

_What’s wrong with me? Just yesterday I tried to kill him and now I’m getting weak in the knees because he’s acting like a decent guy? Snap out of it, Alexis, before I slap some sense into you!_ She chastised herself.

They quickly separated ways again and started a new game.  
***

  
They arrived back at the compound in the early evening covered in red, blue, and green paint as they made their way back to the dorm while everyone was at dinner. Alexis was blind folded again and she and Four shared a laugh as she tripped over a stair with Eric quietly following behind.

Although very competitive, Eric wasn’t a total jack ass when he lost and even made a few jokes, but the little glimpse of him relaxed was short lived as he got serious again on the way back, ignoring them as they joked around.

Four slipped the blindfold over her head when they stopped at their door and bade them farewell to get his own dinner. They had skipped breakfast and lunch, the excitement of the game making it easy to forget, and Alexis’ stomach growled at the mention of food. She went to pass Eric to enter the room when he grabbed her arm and held her back.

“I trust you won’t be trying to kill me in my sleep now that you’ve gotten it out of your system.” He said, looking down at her.

Alexis rolled her eyes.

_And he’s back_. She grumbled in her head.

“Why did you bother to make today fun if you’re just going to stay your normal asshole-self? I was hoping nice Eric would stick around.” She said, looking him straight in the eye.

“It became apparent last night that you’re no good to me burned out, so I gave you a break. There won’t be anymore.” He sternly replied.

“Oh, that’s right,” She scoffed, “I’m just someone you’re using for your own benefit, it’s not like you actually care about me. I would be surprised if caring was even in your vocabulary.” She retorted, her anger flaring back up.

He let her arm go and said, “After you.” Challenge burning behind his eyes.  
***

  
It was still dark out when Alexis woke up and flipped the blankets off to get up and pee. She padded over to the washroom and quickly relieved herself, glad to hear Eric still snoring after she flushed and washed her hands. She was about to turn off the light when the glint of pink caught her eye by his bed.

Knowing it had to be her necklace, she left the light on to see and quietly snuck up to his sleeping form. He was on his side, facing her and his face was relaxed with deep sleep as she peered down to make sure.

The pink sparkle had faded when she approached so she wasn’t exactly sure where it came from and looked him over for it. The curly hairs on his chest looked springy and his strong legs where tangled up in his blanket, effectively pooling it at his waist. His left arm was slung over his chest and the other lay limp over the edge of the bed. And that’s where she saw it.

He had it clutched in his hand with the pendant hanging out and she backed up a step, puzzled by the sight of it. She wanted to take it back, but even if she did manage to sneak it out of his grasp without him waking, he’d notice it gone and know that she knew he had slept with it, so she left it where it was.

_What is he doing sleeping with it?_ She wondered and analyzed his face.

He was a confusing man, she realized. He was cruel, pushing her off roofs and using her, and yet he let her hold his hand when she was terrified of the fear simulation needle and now this. What was he up to?

The image of him grinning earlier came to mind and she wished she could see that side more often. The urge to brush her hand along his cheek was strong, but she pulled away before she did anything stupid and went back to bed.


	10. Chapter 10

Alexis woke up to the smell of bacon. Its’ deliciousness pulling her out of her dream about pigs frolicking in mud and found a plate of it sitting on the bed beside her. There were also scrambled eggs and buttered toast, but the bacon was the best part. Still lying down, she reached over and grabbed one, chewing it slowly as Eric walked out of the bathroom.

“You could at least sit up while eating.” He watched her indifferently as he buckled his belt.

“And I will, when I’m done enjoying my bacon.” She replied, reaching out for another with her eyes still closed. Her hand brushed flesh and she opened an eye to see Eric casually stealing one.

“Hey, those are mine.” She sat up and glared at him. She could tell he was supressing the urge to smile.

“If you feel that strongly about it, then use it for tomorrow’s fight. Clearly you need to kick it up a notch to beat me.”

“Aren’t we fighting today?” She asked, sitting up straighter.

“I’ve got something important to do this morning, so you’ll be training with Four, but I’ll be back for your fear simulation.” He answered and took a few steps forward before turning back. “I forgot. We’re adding something new to the regime today; Four should be around soon.” He added and then continued on his way.

“Have fun.” He called behind him, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he left with a bang.

Alexis fell back onto her pillow with a groan. What could they possibly be making her do now?  
***

  
“Remind me again why we’re doing this.” She said, tossing her rag into the bucket of soapy water.

Four chuckled beside her as he wiped down the shower stall he was cleaning. “Because no one else is supposed to know you’re here and someone has to clean this place.”

“Then I think Eric should be here to clean up the mess he helped create instead of you.” She grumbled above the toilet bowl she just finished scrubbing.

“I thought you liked my company.” He joked, making her grin at the ease of their companionship.

“I do, but I doubt you like mine enough to put up with this.” She waved vaguely at the bathroom.

“You’re right, but I don’t have a choice just like you don’t.” He playfully returned.

“Hey.” She teased back with a pout. “Where does he keep disappearing to anyway?” She looked behind her, expecting Eric to show up any minute because they were talking about him.

“Not sure; he said it was important. It must be if it’s more important than training an imprisoned Divergent for an upcoming war.” He said with an edge to his voice as he crouched down to wipe the stall floor with his rag.

“You would think so. Maybe he’s trying not to look suspicious… Doesn’t anyone notice that you’re gone a lot of the time too?” She asked him out of sudden curiosity.

“Not really. Eric told Max that I’m helping him on a project for Jeanine and to expect erratic attendance for the next two weeks.” He explained.

“That guy has everyone wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?” She said in astonishment, her hands holding her hips as she faced him.

Four chuckled and shrugged. “Nobody really likes him, but no one messes with him either. Speaking of which, we better finish this so we can get back to training.”  
***

  
They were just finishing a ten minute run around the room and Alexis couldn’t help but be impressed with the fact that she no longer collapsed at the end.

If she ever got back to Amity, she planned to run circles around Jeffrey Scott, the turd who thought he was all that because he could out run everyone their age, which wasn’t saying much.

Alexis slowed her pace as she approached the benches and grabbed a water bottle, spraying some into her mouth before pouring more over her head to cool down and drying off with a towel. When she pulled it away she caught Four watching her before he quickly looked down at the towel in his own hands.

“What? Is there something on my face?” She asked, concerned she looked stupid.

“No.” He assured her. “I was just noticing how much you’re beginning to fit in here.”

“Don’t you dare tell me I’m becoming Eric.” She warned with a glare.

Four touched her arm gently. “Just because you look comfortable in Dauntless doesn’t mean you’re anything like Eric. You’re just tougher; stronger physically than you were before.”

Realizing she’d overreacted, she joked, “Is that a nice way of telling me I look like a man?”

He smirked back. “No. You’re still as pretty as you were when you first arrived, bruises and all.” He touched her cheek where a disappearing bruise spanned across her cheek bone.

His eyes scanned her face and time slowed as he leaned in. She knew what was coming, but it still didn’t prepare her as she froze in shock when his lips brushed hers gently. It was short lived though, as he left her there stunned when he was quickly hauled away from behind.

Eric had the back of Four’s collar gripped in his left fist as he whirled him around. He quickly punched him in the nose and Four stumbled back, clutching his face, when Eric released him with a shove.

“Go to the infirmary.” Eric ordered him with a murderous stare.

Alexis watched in shock as Four’s heated gazed flicked from Eric to her; he was about to protest when she interrupted. “Go Four, I’ll be alright.” She said, not wanting them to fight.

He didn’t go though and stood there as blood dripped down his arm and onto the floor.

“It’s okay, Four. He won’t hurt me if Jeanine wants that box open.” She urged him to leave, because Eric’s fists where clenching as he stared the other man down. He reluctantly agreed to go and she glared at Eric when he was out the door.

“Why did you have to hit him?” She angrily demanded.

“He shouldn’t have kissed you.” He grunted as his eyes burned holes in the door Four had just left through.

“Maybe I kissed him.” Alexis goaded, her eyebrows raised as she waited for his reply. She had no idea why she said it, but there was no turning back now.

Eric looked at her quickly, doubt and hurt flicking behind his eyes before he stamped it out. “Doesn’t matter. I need you to focus on training, not falling in love.”

Alexis scoffed. “A kiss is hardly falling in love.”

“To you it might not be, but to him it is. He’s only been on one date since coming to Dauntless.” He countered.

_He’s been in Dauntless for ten years, how could he have been on only one date this whole time?_ She asked herself, immensely curious.

“How do you know that?” She asked, also wondering how he knew.

“I keep tabs on all possible Divergents and I’ve had my suspicions about him from the beginning. From the way you two chat I would have thought you knew everything about each other by now.” He sneered. “It shouldn’t surprise you though; stiffs aren’t known for expressing their feelings through physical contact.”

“He’s not Abnegation anymore and how do you always seem to know what I’m thinking or feeling?” She asked indignantly.

Eric stood up straighter and scowled down at her. “Erudite teaches its’ members to understand people and why they say or do things. You would know that if you’d read those books I gave you.”

“And I tried to, but if I wasn’t so tired all the time then maybe I wouldn’t fall asleep reading them every night.” She bit back, arms crossed over her chest in defense. “Besides, you don’t seem to care too much if I don’t read them.”

“That’s because it’s not my problem if you decide to let yourself fail that test and die because you refused to prepare for it.”

“Won’t Jeanine be mad that you let me fail?”

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Fine, if you need a babysitter to help you read, then I will do that.”

“If your way of helping means hanging me over the side of a building while I read, then no thanks.” Alexis said, taking a step back.

He smirked. “I’m not promising anything.”  
***

  
Earlier Eric had looked tense as they got ready for her simulation, but when she came out of it, he looked relaxed. She figured the change was because for once he wasn’t in her fear and it didn’t leave her feeling weak and sick.

She’d been scared of them since the fourth grade when she overheard a few Erudite boys discussing them and although terrifying, sharks weren’t something she was going to come into contact with anytime soon and she got over it quickly.

Now they were relaxing in the dorm and she was reading up on Candor at his urging. Their book was the biggest, since their manifesto was the longest and she basically skipped the paragraphs, only reading the main topic of each.

"Dishonesty is rampant, Dishonesty is temporary, Dishonesty makes evil possible."

"Dishonesty leads to suspicion. Suspicion leads to conflict. Honesty leads to peace."

"Truth makes us transparent. Truth makes us strong. Truth makes us inextricable."

Beliefs

• Value honesty.  
• See truth as black or white.  
• Blame duplicity for the world's problems.  
• Believe that politeness is "deception in pretty packaging".

No, wonder Amity doesn’t like Candor. I’d hate them too if they bluntly told me all my faults to my face. She thought at reading the last part of their beliefs.

She was reading up on their initiation process when the words began to blur and she read the same sentence four times. Her eyes began to droop of their own volition and something soft hit her on the head, waking her up.

“Stay awake, Amity.” Eric said, only glancing up once from the notebook he wrote in every night to see if she had done as she was told.

Looking down at the object beside her she found a rolled up sock lying there innocently. She picked it up and threw it back, hoping to hit him in the head, but he caught it one handed instead. Only slightly disappointed, she yawned and went back to the book to continue reading. Five minutes later she was being nudged awake.

“Let’s go, I’ve got an idea.” He said, hoisting her up by the arm.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to be dangled off a building.” She mumbled sleepily.

He didn’t reply and dragged her out of the room and down the dark corridor. It was late, but not so late that everyone would be asleep if they choose to go to the bar and that fact made her more alert as they left the initiate wing. They walked further away than they ever had; passing the Pit and the sound of rushing water began to echo around them.

_Is there a river in here?_ She wondered and dug her heels into the concrete floor when the thought that he might throw her in came to her tired mind.

“Stop that.” He ordered and jostled her so she walked normally.

The hallway opened up to a large room with no floor and a bridge was the only thing that connected their hallway to the next. Water gushed below them and thundered in Alexis’ ears, making it hard to hear Eric.

“Sit.” He pointed down at the bridge and sat down himself, his feet dangling over the edge. He gave her an impatient look when she hesitated.

“Won’t someone walk by and see us?” She asked, still standing in the hallway.

Eric shook his head and pointed to his ear. He couldn’t hear her from over there. She took a deep breath and sat down next to him, but far enough that they weren’t touching and leaned in to repeat her question.

Eric had no problem getting close enough to whisper in her ear though. “No one is stupid enough to walk around here while drunk, and if they are then they deserve the push over the side.”

His warm breath tickled the short hairs on her neck and goosebumps raised on her skin at his words despite his body radiating heat that combated the cold air coming off the rushing water.

She expected him to back off right away, but he didn’t and said something else. “No one watches all the cameras 24 hours, but I’ll have Four delete the footage tomorrow. Now read.” He handed her the book.

She took it gratefully when he leaned back and opened it to her last page. She ignored his close proximity and read a few pages, cringing at the part about the initiates having to tell everyone in the faction all their dirty secrets, before she felt eyes boring into her. She stole a quick side glance at Eric and saw him watching her intently.

She felt déjà vu as it reminded her of earlier when Four had kissed her. Four… She totally forgot about him and the kiss! Butterflies swam in her stomach at the memory and she remembered what Eric had told her.

Was it true that Four felt something strongly for her if he kissed her? She liked him a lot and he was good looking, but she wasn’t sure if her feelings went further than that. There was no spark to their kiss either, even though the kiss itself was nice.

The only person she’d ever felt a pull towards was sitting next to her and she hated him. Everything he did and represented angered her, but she couldn’t get away from the memory of his smiling face and all the little things that made him seem like a decent human being. Not that any of that mattered, because he clearly hated her too. You don’t go throwing people you like off of buildings and say hurtful things to them, do you?

“Are you daydreaming?” His voice rumbled next to her.

Alexis snapped out of it and into attention. “What? No.” She lied.

“Then why haven’t you turned a page in the last three minutes?” He asked, his eyebrow raised in his usual look of scepticism.

“I…” She stumbled, but the sound of an alarm going off saved her.

They both whipped their heads up at the loud beeping and saw a red light blinking across the walls.

“What is that?” She asked, concerned.

“The fire alarm. Let’s go.” He replied, pulling her up with him and holding her in front so her back rubbed against his chest as he ushered her out into the hallway and towards the Pit.

The smell of smoke grew stronger as they got closer and Alexis had to cover her nose and mouth with the neckline of her t-shirt when she began to cough. The hallway slowly went from a dim blue colour to an orange and red glow and Alexis feared their way back might be blocked.

They could see flames licking at one of the stores on the main level of the Pit as they entered and Dauntless members quickly jogged past them from all directions to exit the compound.

Eric shoved her away from him and the flames, and said, “Get outside.”

“But I don’t know the way outside.” She complained, watching as Eric and a few other Dauntless grab fire extinguishers and begin to try and put out the fire.

“Just follow the rest of them.” He shouted over his shoulder, spraying the base of the flames in the doorway of the store one handed while shielding his mouth with his other.

Alexis hesitated, unsure of what to do. Smoke billowed up to the Pit’s glass ceiling and filled the nearest corridors, making everyone around her cough.

_This is my chance to get free._ She thought, trying to convince herself to go, but then a woman with her two kids ran past and she knew she had to stay and help.

“What are you doing?!” Eric shouted to be heard above the fire when she joined them.

“I’m helping.” She said with determination.

“No, you’re not.” He replied with a brief glare. He looked relieved when Four ran up and he said, “Get her outside, Four.”

Four went to take her arm, but she flinched away and scowled at him too. “I’m not leaving.”

“The flames aren’t the problem.” He coughed. “These walls are stone so the fire will burn itself out; it’s the smoke inhalation we have to worry about.” He explained.

Alexis looked around and noticed that what he said was probably true, but as her eyes swept passed the shop a figured moved and caught her attention.

“There’s someone inside!” She said loudly to be heard above all the noise.

“Are you sure?” Four asked and she nodded frantically.

“She probably just saw a piece of fabric moving from the heat.” Eric said, listening to their conversation.

“No, it was a person!” She pushed, but the look of doubt on Eric’s face made her decision.

She darted out of their reach and ran into the shop, ignoring their shouts. It was filled with smoke and flames licked at the walls and in some spots of the store where racks of clothing once stood.

She swallowed roughly, the smoke searing her throat, and called out, “Is someone in here?! Where are you?!”

“Over here!” She heard behind the counter and she ran over as Eric burst through the flames to join her.

Two teenaged boys were cowering on the floor and she motioned for Eric to come and help her get them out. With one in each of their grasp, they made their way out and deposited them around the corner as the others controlled the fire and eventually put it out.

As soon as the danger was gone, Eric picked them both up by the arms and dragged them to an empty room to scold them in private and Alexis followed.

“What the fuck happened?” He asked, staring them both down with his steely blue eyes.

They fidgeted, glancing at each other and when the one with blue spikey hair nudged the foot of the black haired one, the black haired boy spoke up.

“We’d like to talk to Max.”

Eric’s jaw jumped. “No. I found you so you will deal with me.” His tone sounded deadly.

“Uhh…” The boy said again and glanced at Alexis. He focused on her instead of Eric and said, “We just wanted to sneak a puff without our parents finding out and my mom’s shop was closed so we went in there. We put the butt in the garbage can and lit another, but then it started to smoke and we freaked out. Charlie kicked the can over and it rolled into some cleaning supplies, then flames just came out and it spread so quickly we didn’t think we could get out.”

Eric bowed his head and breathed in deeply once the story was done. He looked like he was about to go off on them so she said, “They’re just kids, Eric.”

“Kids who set a whole store on fire and could have killed someone, including themselves, Amity!” He shot at her.

The boys looked at her with curiosity and confusion, and Eric noticed.

“Ah, fuck.” He mumbled to himself and ran his hand through his hair. “Fine! I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but if you as so much as mention that you were in that fire to anyone or anything about us, I will skin you both alive.”

They both nodded frantically and ran out the door before Eric could change his mind. He then turned on her.

“Going into that fire was stupid. If you wanted to escape me so badly, you could have just gone outside, like I told you!”

“You didn’t believe me and if I had listened to you then they would have died. Can’t you just say thank you?” She argued back.

He closed his eyes in irritation and said through clenched teeth, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She gave him a sweet smile and he rolled his eyes.  
***

  
Back in the dorm, Eric took of his shirt and wiped the soot off his face with it as he made his way to the showers. Alexis wanted to go too, the fire covered them both in sweat and grime, but she wasn’t desperate enough to get naked around him and instead changed into her PJs and slipped into bed.

She wasn’t tired though, the adrenaline from earlier still pumping through her veins and she stared up at the ceiling as Eric finished washing off and crawled into his own bed.

Her mind raced with thoughts, the silence in the room only making them harder to ignore and she let them come. One in particular was itching away at her and so she voiced it.

“Are you scared of fire?” She asked him, hoping he wasn’t asleep yet. The sound of his bed creaking as he rolled over told her that he wasn’t.

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. I could feel the panic in your grip when the fire alarm went off and I’m curious why you went in with me if you are.” She said, still staring up. She could hear him sigh behind her.

“Yes, I am.” He confessed. “But it didn’t stop me because that’s what the fear simulation is for, to train you to ignore the fear and do your job.”

That made sense, she guessed. Four had said Eric had twelve fears and now she knew one of them. If only she could find out the rest, maybe she’d understand him better.

“Will you show me your other fears?” She asked, wanting to keep the conversation going since he was actually talking to her instead of ordering her around.

“No. My fears are none of your business.” He replied.

She turned over and looked at him. “But you’ve seen all of mine.”

“What are we, boyfriend and girlfriend? That’s the beauty of being a trainer. I see yours, you don’t see mine. Now, I’ve had a long day between you and Four, stupid kids setting shit on fire and my errand earlier, I just want to go to sleep. So shut your mouth, close your eyes and go to sleep.”

_Fine._ She grumbled in her head and got comfortable, waiting for sleep to overtake her excited mind.


	11. Chapter 11

The lights were still off when Alexis woke up the next morning and she looked over at Eric when she heard him snoring deeply. He lay on his back with an arm slung across his eyes and she looked up at the clock on the wall. It was 7:36 am; later than he usually got up.

After the first bathroom fiasco, they had unconsciously established a routine. Eric woke up first and got breakfast, then had a shower while she ate and then she would have her shower as he ate. But since he had already showered last night and he was clearly tired, she figured he probably wouldn’t mind if she went now.

Getting up, she grabbed her towel and toiletries before heading to the bathroom and turning on the lights. She stopped to use the toilet first and then turned on the shower to let the water get hot as she undressed.

It felt nice as she stepped in and Alexis stood for a moment to let the water go over her sore muscles as the soot that hadn’t rubbed off in her sleep ran down her body in dark rivulets. She quickly washed her hair and body, enjoying the feel of being clean and alert.

As she turned off the nozzle and squeezed the water out of her hair, one of the toilets behind her flushed and she froze. With an excruciatingly slow movement, she turned her head to look behind and found Eric casually standing there with a smirk on his face.

With a squeak, she instinctively covered herself and realized that she was facing the wall and he was staring at her ass. She swiftly spread her hands behind her instead.

“What the hell are you doing in here?!” She cried as she searched for her towel.

“Taking a piss.” He replied, amusement lacing his voice.

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t come in here while I showered.” She said, still looking and said to herself more than to him, “where’s my towel?”

“You left it over here.” He said, and she craned her neck to see him holding it up for her to see.

_Shit_.

“I thought about letting you finish, but I couldn’t wait. Besides, you’re in here during my allotted time.” He said.

“You were sleeping! And you already showered last night.” She said and felt stupid arguing with the shower wall. “Can you please hand me my towel now?”

Eric walked up behind her and passed it over. She grabbed it from him and promptly wrapped it around her wet body. The way his eyes traveled down her figure sent a shiver down it and she cleared her throat.

“I’m rather uncomfortable right now, so if you wouldn’t mind…” She said, trying to squeak by him but he didn’t budge.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before.” He said, looking at her like it didn’t bother him at all that she was naked in front of him.

“You haven’t seen all of _me_ before.” She ground out, getting annoyed.

“I don’t need to see all of you to know you have a scar on your breast bone.” He teased with an air of smugness.

She automatically looked down and could barely see the scar herself. She looked back up at him, suspiciously. “How do you know about that?”

“I know a lot more about you than you think.” He said and took a step closer. “Jeanine sent me your file as soon as I notified her that I had you in custody.”

He was so close she could see the gold tints in his chest hair from the overhead lights and Alexis took a step back, more than self-conscious at his nearness and bumped into the wall behind her.

“What exactly do you know?” She asked, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

“Your name is Alexis Morgan and your parents are Frank and Stacey Morgan. You have two younger brothers, Mark and Joshua and two younger sisters, Erin and Amy. Born in Amity, you received Amity on your aptitude test, but we both know that’s a lie and you were assigned office work after initiation. You also have that scar because you were diagnosed with a congenital heart defect at the age of six and had multiple surgeries at Erudite. I take it that’s where the fear of needles came from.” He ended with a note of inquiry.

Alexis scowled at him, embarrassed that he knew so much. “That’s an invasion of privacy.”

He gazed at her and the look of amusement he had slipped into one of boredom. “Take it up with someone who cares.” He said, stepping back and giving her another once over before gesturing for her to leave with a sweep of his hand.

She took the opportunity and hurried away, picking up her discarded clothes on the way and went back to her bed to change.  
***

  
The gun was getting heavier in her arms after holding it up for so long as she continued to make progress on her aim. She could run and shoot now, hitting multiple targets in succession, though nowhere near the bullseye. After an hour of that, Eric decided to try something new. He handed her a paintball gun and a pair of goggles for protection.

“I’m not wearing a coat.” Alexis said, nervous about what she thought he was about to do.

“Neither am I.” He said picking up his own gun.

They both had on black t-shirts, the thin fabric no match for the sting of a paintball whipping at you at two hundred miles per hour and she frowned in concern.

“If I remember correctly, and I’m sure I am, these things hurt with another layer of clothing on so why are we doing it without some sort of protection?”

“Call it more incentive to dodge the bullet, so to speak. If you can hit me five times, then we’ll stop.” He replied.

“This is unfair. You’re way better than I am; I’ll be a walking bruise by tomorrow.” She complained.

“Then I advise you to get those five shots in quick.” He smirked and backed up to his side of the room.

Alexis groaned and unwillingly marched to the opposite side of the large, but fairly empty room to hide behind the life sized shooting targets.

_He better not expect me to clean up all the paint splatters after this_. She grumbled in her head in irritation as she walked over.

It really wasn’t fair. He had years of practice and she had been at this only a week, a week! How did he expect her to get close enough to shoot him five times without getting pulverized?

“Ow!!!” She cried out and jumped, rubbing her left butt cheek when she was hit by one of Eric’s pellets.

“You’re taking too long.” He called out from behind where ever he chose to hide.

She flipped him the bird and slipped behind the closest target to get out of his line of sight before he could shoot her again. Her butt stung where she was hit and she looked to see the damage. The whole left side was covered in blue paint and she got the distinct feeling it was meant like a slap on the ass.

With a heavy sigh, she turned back and positioned herself low behind her shelter and aimed her gun in his direction. She hadn’t seen where he went so she had to wait for him to shoot first, but minutes passed and nothing happened.

Her legs were beginning to burn in their crouched position so she let off a few of her own shots to draw him out. Still nothing. What was he waiting for?

The weight lifting equipment was a few feet away and she decided to move to it for a different angle. Her right cheek stung this time as another pellet left Eric’s gun; she staggered in pain the rest of the way and kneeled down.

_SOB, he’s behind me now._ She cursed in amazement at his agility.

Crawling around the equipment to face the other way, she trained her eye and gun at where she suspected he was and waited. He left his hiding place to move closer and as he did, she let off more shots. He dived back to where he came from, and at the lack of painful groaning she didn’t think she hit him at all.

She worried that if she let him get any closer, she’d never get away from the onslaught and get in her five shots, so she moved farther back to where he originated from. It was like a whip to an open wound when he hit her in the butt again.

“OW!!! Will you stop shooting me in the ass already?!” She shouted at him, stopping mid-way to her refuge.

“You’re the one who was worried about getting bruised all over. I’m trying to be thoughtful.” He shouted back and she could just imagine the grin on his infuriating face.

Another crack boomed in the room and she bent over as immense pain blossomed throughout her right breast. She clutched it in agony, breathing in and out until the pain subsided, then lifted her gun up and aimlessly pulled her trigger to keep him at bay until she reached cover.

“Dammit, Eric, that was my boob!” She cried, peeking down her shirt. It had hit the upper part of the breast, where it swelled out of her sports bra.

“I know.” He said.

“I know.” She quietly mimicked with a face.

_This is stupid. I’m never going to win this fight. He’s bigger, stronger, and faster. Basically everything I’m not. She frowned and leaned back. What is the point of this anyway?_

“Does opening that box require me to shoot someone? Because, if not, then why are we doing this?” She asked, getting frustrated.

“This isn’t about shooting. It’s about using your Divergent mind to find a solution.” He answered back.

Alexis’ eyebrow quirked in thought.

_Okay… So how would Amity get out of this? They wouldn’t. Both Amity and Abnegation are against violence. Erudite would think of a smart way out, obviously, but Eric knows Erudite’s ways. Was this some sort of Candor test? I don’t see them getting out of this unless they planned to talk him to death._

She groaned in aggravation at the futility of it. What was the point of being Divergent if it didn’t help you? She was better off just running into the line of fire and shooting him point blank…

That’s it. She lifted her head at the idea, surprising herself at the brilliance of it. Abnegation would sacrifice themselves to stop the violence and Dauntless would in the name of bravery to accomplish the goal. Eric wouldn’t expect it, so there was the Erudite planning.

Yes, it was probably the best plan she could come up with on such short notice, and if this was real she would die, but she was only required to shoot him five times, not do so and live. Her lips lifted in a smile, but then died when she thought about the pain she’d have to face to complete her plan.

There was no way around it though and she braced herself before standing and barging out into the open. She ran at him, her gun at the ready and with a yell, ignored the pain that sprouted all over her body as his pellets hit again and again, and knocked him over and shot him point blank five times in the chest.

He groaned and coughed on the floor between her legs as she stood over him. He slowly rubbed his chest with one hand while his knee pushed her ankle out from under her, causing her to fall on top of him. They both grunted at the impact and Alexis’ gun clattered on the ground and skidded off to the side.

She placed her hands on his chest to push herself off of him, but he grabbed her biceps with a grimace and she stopped. She waited as the pain passed and he looked up at her.

His eyes were blue again with warmth and while she wondered why, he pulled her down to him in one swift movement and crushed his lips to hers in a powerful kiss.

Butterflies flew in her stomach and without conscious thought she opened her mouth and invited him in. His tongue slid past her lips and mingled with hers in a frenzy of need.

She lost all track of thought as his hand slid up her waist and under her shirt to caress her breast through her bra and she moaned with the sudden need to touch him when she could feel his own wanting hardening on her leg. He stopped suddenly at the sound and pulled away. He gently pushed her off him and got up quickly, hiding his arousal from view.

He cleared his throat and said, “Don’t go thinking I’m a fool in love like Four. I just haven’t been laid in a week.” He excused his actions.

Trying to hide the fact that she missed his touch she said, “I’m not surprised with the technique you’ve got.”

He shot her a look. “Then why did you kiss me back?”

“Maybe it’s because I haven’t been laid in a week, either.” She taunted him.

“I need a cold shower.” He said abruptly after staring down at her for a minute.

“I’m not listening to you jerk off in the shower.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought and picked herself up.

“That would defeat the purpose of having a cold one then. If that’s what I wanted to do then I would just finish what we started. But, I don’t feel the need to spread my seed everywhere like an Amity.” He sneered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“How many siblings do you have again?” He asked with sarcasm.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you just insult my family?”

When he shrugged unapologetically, she lunged for him and yanked on his ear like her mother always did to her brothers when they were naughty.

His head followed the pull of her arm and he bent sideways in discomfort. She punched him in the face twice before he stopped her by grabbing her fist and twisting her wrist. She let him go with a yelp and he released her.

She stepped away and rubbed her wrist, confused as to why he let her go. He had a gash on his forehead from where his googles dug in when she hit him and it was bleeding a decent amount, but he pulled them off and wiped the blood away before it could seep into his eye.

He suddenly looked very tired. Not physically she thought, but emotionally and her anger subsided.

“I think you need a break this time.” She said, ignoring her inner mind asking her as to why she cared if he was drained. “I’m sure Four can finish today’s training.”

“You won’t be seeing Four for a couple of days.” He replied, picking up a random towel and pressing it to his head.

“One kiss and you’ve banished him?”

“That’s one reason, the other is I’ve been having trouble locating the woman who did your aptitude test and I thought he might have a better chance at finding her since he’s a familiar face in Abnegation. Any chance you remember what she looks like?” He asked, rather gently.

Was this a ploy to get Alexis to give her up, by making her think he was being nice and wouldn’t kill her?

_It’s a good thing I’m not Candor too, because lying is going to save Natalie Prior’s life_. She thought.

“No. It’s been too long; her face is a blur now.”

Eric breathed in deeply. “I can tell you’re lying. It’s important that I find her.”

“So you can kill her?” She retorted.

“No. So she can save your Divergent ass.” He said sitting down on a nearby bench.

“What are you talking about?” She asked, taken aback.

“I’ve been lying to you.”


	12. Chapter 12

_Lying?_ She stared at him in confusion.

“I don’t kill Divergents. I fake their deaths and sneak them out instead.” He declared, watching for her reaction.

Alexis’ brow creased. “But you’re working with Jeanine, I’ve seen her here.”

“She _thinks_ I’m working with her, but I’m really working with someone else to keep the Divergents alive.” He clarified. “Being close to Jeanine allows me inside knowledge of her plans, but when I find someone who is Divergent, we make it look like an accident or suicide to hide their disappearance from everyone and Jeanine thinks I’m just covering my tracks after killing them.”

“And how did you get involved in all this exactly?” She held her hips, narrowing her eyes at him in disbelief.

“My mother.” He replied simply. “She was born in Dauntless and when she told her best friend that she was going to transfer to Erudite, her friend confessed to her about being Divergent and how she was helping them escape the city. She then asked my mom to help her with the Erudite Divergents and keep tabs on the Erudite leader for her.

"So, she became Jeanine’s right hand woman, and when Jeanine found out I got Dauntless on my aptitude test, she saw an opportunity to have someone on the inside of Dauntless and had my mother convince me to join leadership. Instead she told me everything, except for the identity of her friend or her location, and asked me to do the same for the Dauntless Divergent, and I did. Amar was my first to sneak out and he wasn’t my last.”

“That’s why you kept disappearing. You were searching for Natalie Prior.” She said as it all dawned on her.

“Is that her name?” He asked, still dabbing at his head wound.

“Yes, and for goodness sake where is the first aid kit?” She asked, annoyed that he wasn’t taking care of it.

He pointed to the wall in the corner and she marched off to get it. Coming back, she gingerly straddled the bench next to him and laid the box open behind her.

“What do I do?” She asked, drawing a blank as she stared at its’ contents.

Eric’s lip lifted at the corner. “You need to clean it with some alcohol first and then smear on the ointment before putting on the bandage, but if it’s too deep, then I’ll need stitches.”

“I’m not touching a needle, so you can stitch it yourself.” She frowned in concentration as she inspected the wound. “How do I tell if it needs stitches?”

“You can usually see fat underneath the skin.”

“Eww, that’s gross, but I don’t think I see any fat.” She held his cheek with one hand as she gently prodded his forehead with the other.

“Then we should be okay.” He said and winced at her touch. “Are you really planning on patching me up? I thought you were terrified of me.” He said, his blue eyes gazing into her golden brown ones when she stopped poking him.

“If what you say is true, then you’re just a little bit less scary than you were five minutes ago and I think I can handle cleaning you up once, but you’re going to keep talking while I do it.” She said matter-of-factly as she dug around for the alcohol and a swab.

Finding what she needed, she opened the bottle and tipped it over the gauze and asked, “So what do you do with the Divergents after faking their deaths?”

Eric clenched his fists and his arm muscles bulged in pain when she put the gauze to his head. He let out short bursts of breath through gritted teeth until she took it away and relaxed as the pain subsided.

As she smeared the clear ointment over the cut, he answered her, “I would tell my mom I had someone and she would tell her friend who would then arrange for someone to meet up with my charge once I managed to get them outside the city gate. After that, I have no idea what happens to them or where they are. That’s why I need to find Natalie. I think she’s my mom’s friend and only she can tell me where they are.”

“Why don’t you just ask your mother?” Alexis asked.

He looked away for a second. “She died two years ago. It was unexpected, so I never got a chance to ask her.” He replied.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, not sure if he wanted her to be sympathetic or not. Instead she asked, “Why do you need to find them anyway? If they’re safely outside the city, then Jeanine can’t hurt them.”

Alexis was oblivious to the fact that she was so fascinated by his story that she didn’t notice she was caressing his cheek with her thumb while she held his head in place and he leaned into it a little bit.

“It’s not about them anymore. Once the Divergents are gone, she has no one to resist her serums and plans to inject every citizen to control them with it. She’s after power.” He said when her touch left his face.

“What about the box? Was that a lie?” She asked, turning around for something to cover his wound with.

“No.”

She turned back and placed a bandage on his forehead. “And the books?”

“She did want you to read them; I only made you do it because I wanted you to gain insight on the people you hopefully will lead.”

“Lead? What are you talking about now?” She leaned back and gave him a glare.

“I needed to find a Divergent who was capable of being in charge of an army of other Divergents, and that turned out to be you.” He shrugged.

“What?! You did all of this, the arrest, the imprisonment, the training, the fear, all just to get me to lead your army? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth right away instead of scaring the shit out of me for so long?” She got angry and jumped off the bench to pace.

“You think I liked doing all those things?” He frowned, but didn’t shout. “I hated it, but it was necessary to make you ready.” He said.

“Ready.” She scoffed. “Did it ever cross your mind to ask me if I wanted to do this? I don’t know the first thing about war or getting people to do what I want them too. You should have got Four to do it.”

Eric scowled. “I don’t want Four to have anymore admiration than he already has, plus I didn’t know officially he was Divergent. Not to mention he’s probably not as strong as you are anyway.”

“Then why not you?” She threw her hands in the air. “Why bother with a Divergent when you’re already perfect for the job.”

His jaw jumped. “The Divergent won’t follow me.”

“Why not?” She asked, lost as to his reasoning.

“I’m not one of you.”

“Oh, I see. You’re scared you’re not good enough, because you don’t think like us.” She said out of anger, but she knew it was probably true by the way his eyes clouded over again to their usual steely look.

“I want to go home, Eric.” She said finally and he stood up quickly.

“You’re not going anywhere. I’ve risked so much to get to this point; ten years of being alone and hated just to keep up the act, I even missed my own mother’s funeral. Now I’m so close to being done and you’re my ticket out.” He fumed.

“Your ticket?! You’re a piece of work, Eric.” She said and stormed out of the room, but Eric burst out the door after her and swung her around to face him.

“If you leave, hundreds of people will be at the mercy of Jeanine and her serums. I haven’t seen a divergent like you in ten years, how long do you think it will take to find another to replace you?”

“He’s right, Alexis.” A woman’s voice said from behind them and they both looked at her in surprise.

Natalie Prior and Four walked side by side towards them and a small smile appeared on the older woman’s face as she approached.

“How did you find her?” Eric asked Four, curiously watching Natalie.

“She found me, actually.” He replied.

Natalie turned her smile on Eric. “I knew you were looking for me for the past week, but I couldn’t meet with you in case Jeanine had her spies watching. Then, I saw Tobias here walking around Abnegation after having not set foot there since his choosing day and I could tell you sent him.”

She looked at Alexis in sympathy. “He told me about you, Alexis, and Eric’s plan for you. I’m sorry that I lied about your test results, but I had hoped you would fail your initiation and become factionless where I could have helped you better.”

Alexis’ mouth hung slightly open in shock. _She wanted me to be factionless?_

Natalie explained with an apologetic look. “My work with them allows me to interact with them regularly without drawing attention and it’s so much easier to have a factionless member go missing than if I were to take you from Amity.”

She glanced up at Eric, who stood behind Alexis, and then looked back at the younger woman. “And what Eric said is true. You are the strongest divergent I have come across too and I’ve done a lot of aptitude tests. The most I’ve heard of was three, but four… I was impressed when you came into my chair. Unfortunately you passed initiation and I couldn’t reach you within Amity, but I hoped to eventually get you out one day. It looks like Eric got to you first though. I hope your brother is doing well.”

“My brother?” Alexis’ heart quickened.

“Yes, I think his name was Mark. He came into my chair two years after you did and he had three aptitudes.”

“Oh my God, Mark. He never told me, is he going to be okay in Amity? What about my sisters? They haven’t been tested yet, they could be Divergent too.” She asked, pleadingly looking at each of them.

“I tested your family yesterday and Mark was the only other Divergent. It took some convincing, but I managed to get him out of the city after telling him you’re still alive, and now I’m just hoping Natalie’s people found him.” Eric said.

“Don’t worry; they always know when someone is going to leave the city. They would have found him the minute he left those gates.” Natalie assured him.

Alexis couldn’t believe it, her brother was Divergent too. What if Jeanine had thought of it and went after him? She couldn’t bear to think of it and realized that Eric did and had saved him… She flung herself into his arms and hugged him.

“Thank you.” She whispered into his chest and felt his arms slowly encircle her.

He leaned over and said, “I could only save your brother, but it’s up to you to save the rest of your family."

She pensively pulled away from his embrace, her shoulders set with determination and nodded. If she was going to do this, then she’d do it for her family.

“Why don’t we go in the room and discuss what we’ll do in private.” Four said, looking behind him.

No one had set foot in the initiate wing in the week Alexis had been there, but you never knew, she guessed and followed them back into the training room, trailing behind to walk with Four.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew he was looking for Natalie Prior?” She asked.

“I only found out yesterday when he paid me a visit in the infirmary. Did you know he ordered me to never touch you again?” He asked softly, to keep the others from over hearing.

Alexis sighed and looked at the bandage over his nose. She really did like Four. He was caring and at the same time strong, something she thought Eric wasn’t, until now.

“I see you got him back though.” He said at her silence and gave her a half-smile.

“Yeah.” She said, unenthusiastically.

“Hey, are you okay?” He stopped her with a hand on her arm and asked.

Alexis gave him a fake smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m just processing everything.”

They finally reached the room and entered as the others waited for them. Eric looked both angry and annoyed at the fact they were together, not that she was sure he had a right to be if he only kissed her because he was horny and not because he liked her, and ignored him as she sat down next to Four on the bench.

Natalie sat on her other side and Eric loudly cleared his throat. “Now that introductions are done, we might as well get to business. Can you tell me where they keep the Divergent, Natalie?”

She nodded. “They’re in a building some miles outside the city in what is an old airport.”

Alexis and Four shared a curious look and she shrugged.

“They’re places where airplanes came and went. People used to use them to travel through the air to get from one place to another faster than cars.” Eric tiredly explained to them.

“How do you know that?” Alexis asked.

“Erudite, remember.” He arrogantly touched his pointer finger to his temple. “Will they let us near the building?” He asked Natalie.

“If they don’t stop us from leaving the city, then we’ll be okay.” She replied confidently.

“Okay.” He nodded. “We’ll leave tomorrow night. You can stay with me and Alexis in the initiate dorm tonight.” He said to Natalie and she accepted with a thank you.  
***

  
Natalie chose the bed next to Alexis’ to sleep in that night and she tested it out with a bounce.

“Yeah, they’re not the most comfy but they get the job done.” Alexis said as she sat down on hers with a squeak.

Natalie nodded and sat watching Alexis as she got comfortable in a cross-legged position against the wall.

Eric stood up by his bed and pulled his shirt over his head; Alexis watched as he grimaced from the bruises on his chest and rotated an arm to judge just how much they hurt. A pang of guilt hit her and she looked away as he made his way to the showers.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Natalie asked her.

“Who, Eric?” She asked, startled by the question and Natalie nodded.

“Beyond confused as hell?” She asked for clarification.

Natalie smiled. “Yes, beyond that.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She shrugged. “At first I just hated him, you know, because he made me think he was going to kill me and now I find out he’s the good guy. I mean, yes he’s attractive, but he’s not really the sensitive type.”

“Dauntless, rarely are.” Natalie agreed.

“Yeah, well I’m from Amity, I should pick someone nice, shouldn’t I?” Alexis said.

“You mean like Four?”

Alexis gazed at her in wonder. _She knows how to do it too_.

Natalie patted her on the knee. “Four spoke of you fondly, so it was easy to tell, but the way you and Eric look at each other when the other’s not looking… it’s a complete give away.”

Alexis frowned. “He’s been very clear that I’m nothing more than a mission to him.”

“That’s not true. He saved your brother when he didn’t have to.” She said and leaned in closer. “Jeanine would never trust him if she ever thought he was soft. He’s gotten so used to playing a part to protect himself, it’s a part of him now. Do you understand?”

Alexis nodded.

“Think about it, before choosing one of them.” Natalie said and leaned back.

The water in the bathroom turned off and Eric walked out, refreshed in clean Dauntless clothing. Alexis was a little surprised he hadn’t come out in his towel like usual, but he was probably doing it out of respect for Natalie.

“I’m going to head out and get dinner.” He announced and Natalie sat up.

“Eric, if you wouldn’t mind bringing me some of the chocolate cake too, it was always my favourite flavour.” She asked him and he nodded.

Alexis was confused. “There’s cake?”

“It’s Dauntless’ special treat that only they get.” Natalie explained.

“And I didn’t get any this whole time?!” Alexis cried out at Eric.

He stopped and sighed, rolling his eyes before turning around. “No cake, I need you fit. Hey, I haven’t been having any either.” He said at her look of outrage.

“You were probably stuffing it in your face in the cafeteria before you came back for all I know! Come on, please. It’s probably the last chance I’ll ever get to eat Dauntless chocolate cake.” She pleaded.

“Fine, just this once.” He said and left.

“See what I’m talking about? Totally insensitive.” Alexis said to Natalie and the other woman laughed.

A little while later there was bang at the door and Eric called out, “I need some help here.”

Alexis got up and opened the door to find Eric laden with three plates of food and a whole chocolate cake. She beamed in joy and took the cake from him, eager to try it and grabbed two forks from the tray. She then ran over with it to Natalie and they dug in. Eric rolled his eyes and joined them before they ate it all.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this story and gave it kudos or comments! Really appreciate it all!
> 
> Also, it's been a while since I read Allegiant so I might not have the character appearances exactly right or the personalities and I ask for forgiveness.

The next day was a flurry of movement as they packed clothing, gear and weapons. Then, the boys went to give Max an excuse for their absence to avert suspicion and Alexis was cleaning up the dorm with Natalie while they were gone.

“So, what was Eric’s mom like?” She asked, desperately wanting to know something about him.

Natalie looked up, half-way making her bed and said, “It’s been a long time. I never got to speak with her as friends after our choosing day because Jeanine despises Abnegation, but the year I spent with her was fun.

“Margo was very smart and it showed when she always had a witty comment for anyone who dared order her around. She was also very cunning; much like Eric is, and often came up with clever ways to get out of situations. I wasn’t the lease bit surprised when she told me she was going to Erudite. In fact I was supposed to go with her, but I also met Andrew that year and he convinced me to join Abnegation with him.” She said, sitting down on the bed with a thoughtful look.

“How come you only knew her for a year? I thought Eric said you grew up together.” She asked, curious.

“She thought we grew up together, but I’m actually from Milwaukee. When my mother killed my father, I ran away to the fringe and that’s where the Bureau found me and took me in. At the time Erudite had already begun to kill Divergents, so I volunteered to come and stop them.

“Since I was already sixteen years old and had tattoos, they lied about my age and put me in Dauntless with the intention that I would transfer to Erudite. They had to change the memories of Margo and her family as well as the leaders to make them believe that Margo’s parents had been looking after me since birth because my parents had died.” She explained to Alexis.

“Oh… They can do that? Change people’s memories?”

“Yes, it’s the serum special to Abnegation. It makes you forget all of your memories so new ones can be placed.” Natalie said.

_Wow, what else don’t we know?_ She wondered just as the door to the dorm opened and the boys walked in.

“Alright, time to go.” Eric said with purpose and picked up his bag.

Alexis and Natalie quickly finished the beds and followed them out with their bags slung on their backs and hand guns tucked in their waistbands.

Eric stopped Alexis with a hand on her arm as she turned the corner, leaving Four and Natalie to go on ahead and said, “There might be some action tonight so be on the ready, alright?”

She nodded in reply and he dug in his pocket for something. “Here, you might want this back.” He said, holding out her necklace to her.

The last time she had it, Eric had snapped it off her neck and as she took it with immense gratitude, Alexis was surprised to see that the chain was fixed. She could feel his eyes roaming over her features as she put it back on and held back the tears that threatened to spill so he wouldn’t see how much the gesture meant to her.

“Thanks.” She said thickly and turned to follow the others with Eric at her back.

They walked through the dark Dauntless corridors and the damp ashes of the store they helped to put out, smelled strongly of wet wood as they passed by on their way to the compound entrance.

The train was already slowing as it neared when they exited and Alexis was surprised at how quick Natalie was for an Abnegation as she watched the older woman run to the train with her bag in hand, ready to toss it on before she jumped in.

Four followed suit and Eric gave her an encouraging push as she picked up her speed to match the trains’. Swinging her bag with as much force as she could muster, it flew into the compartment with a clang and Four leaned out with a hand stretched out for her to grab. His grip was tight on hers and he hauled her in with little effort before Eric jumped on behind her.

The ride was long and quiet as each of them sat with their own anxious thoughts, and Alexis looked around at her companions, trying to decipher what they were thinking. Sitting across from her, Natalie looked the calmest, probably because she knew what to expect, and beside her, Eric had his usual blank expression, making it difficult to tell whether or not he was nervous.

Across from him and beside Alexis, Four’s face was relaxed but his leg incessantly bounced against hers. She found it oddly comforting to know that at least someone else felt as nervous as she did.

It felt like forever before they finally reached the gate and the hope of possibly seeing her family’s home on the way there grew in Alexis’ chest. She missed them so much, but the thought of seeing her brother soon somewhat eased the pain.

Natalie was the closest to the door and jumped off first with Eric right behind her. When he stumbled forward to catch his balance, he didn’t seem to notice that something fell out of his pack and Alexis wanted to shout at him, but the sound of the train speeding along the rails was too loud to be heard over.

Instead she hoisted her bag up onto her shoulder and jumped, praying she wouldn’t break anything and was glad when she landed on both feet. It was dark out in the middle of nowhere, so dark that she could hardly see Eric and Natalie in front because the only lights around were the ones coming from the Amity housing nearby and the fence.

She jogged over to the spot where she thought Eric had landed and used her feet to search through the darkness for the object. She hit something hard and when she picked it up, she realized it was the journal she often saw him writing in and stuffed it into her bag to return it later. Then Four’s hand wrapped around her elbow and she jumped at his touch.

“It’s just me. What were you doing?” He asked in a loud whisper.

“Just picking up something Eric dropped. Looks like a book.” She shrugged, not making much of it and Four nodded in fleeting interest.

Eric had assured them he had done this a dozen times, but Alexis still felt her nerves coil inside her like a snake, ready to strike at the first sign of trouble, as they followed him to the gate.

“Who’s there?!” One of the guards shouted as they approached, his gun aimed at Eric’s chest as they left the darkness behind and entered the fence’s perimeter of light.

“Your leader. Now get that gun out of my face before I shove it up your ass.” Eric said, his eyes shooting daggers at him.

Upon recognition the man lowered his gun and eyed up the rest of them. Thankfully Natalie was the same size as Alexis and now looked Dauntless in one of her extra set of uniforms.

Eric didn’t skip a beat though and said, “We’re doing an unscheduled fence check, so open the gate.”

The unnamed man nodded to his partner without question and she punched in a key code on the pad that rested on the wall nearby. It glowed bright green and the gate slowly slid open with a loud bang as it receded into the other end.

Alexis pushed down the fear that they would get caught and hoped she exuded enough arrogance that could rival even Eric’s as she walked passed the Dauntless guards. As soon as they were through, the door began to close behind them.

_Was that supposed to happen?_ She jerked at the sound, her heart pounding in her throat. Of course it was she reminded herself. They always closed the gates after the Amity trucks went through. This time felt different to her though. This time they were leaving Amity behind and going into the unknown… Air became scarce with each breath she took and she groaned at the knowledge that another panic attack was coming on.

_Not now!_ She scolded herself.

Her wheezing alerted Four to her situation and he immediately became concerned. “Alexis, are you okay?” He touched her cheek.

“She’s having a panic attack.” Natalie revealed what Alexis couldn’t and Eric marched over, dumping his bag as he neared.

He embraced her and gently pulled her head closer so that her ear could rest against his chest and hear his steady heartbeat. He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly so she could copy him.

She concentrated on the rhythmic movements of his chest, the hard muscles expanding and relaxing beneath her cheek and the heat from his body engulfed her, chasing away the chilly night air. Her own body began to relax the more she let the outside world fade away and he became her only thought.

Then when she was about to fall asleep, he abruptly let her go and took a step back. The sudden loss of his body made her stumble forward, but a hand caught her shoulder and she realized Four stood close behind her.

Eric gave Alexis one last glance before turning around and saying, “We better get going before someone notices we’re not coming back.” He picked up his bag and continued forward.

Four kept pace with Alexis as they followed behind. “Will you be alright?” He asked her, still worried.

Alexis felt thoroughly embarrassed and nodded quickly even though the fear still bubbled deep inside. She had no idea she was specifically afraid of the unknown, but she’d never faced it before. Even going to Dauntless as a prisoner there was some expectation of what would happen, but not now, and they never did finish her fear training.

Four’s hand slipped around hers and squeezed reassuringly. She turned and gave him a thankful smile, relieved that she didn’t have to ask.

As the familiar Amity fields of wheat and corn passed behind them, they dug out their flashlights to see by, now that they were out of line of sight, and the soft ground began to grow harder as it turned into concrete.

All around them were buildings that were shorter than the ones in the city, deteriorating from years of being empty and forgotten, and their walls were covered in graffiti. Faded writings popped out at Alexis as she inspected them while they walked by.

_Man should never play God._

_GD’s are a waste of the human population._

_What happened to equality?_

That first glimpse of what it may have been like for people before the factions sent a chill down her spine and she tightened her hold on Four’s hand. He sent her a quick side glance and squeezed back.

They must have been walking for at least an hour and Alexis was beginning to wonder if they were going the wrong way when two beams of light flashed in their eyes.

There was a sudden burst of movement and Alexis felt someone knock her down to the ground, his body shielding her from the bright light. Four was kneeling down on one knee in front of her as he peered through the sight of his rifle and aimed at the large vehicle before them.

Alexis peered around him and saw Eric standing a few feet ahead, his own gun aimed at the truck with steely focus and Natalie in a similar fashion behind him.

“It’s about time you guys got here, we’ve been waiting forever!” A man shouted and jumped out of the truck, uncaring that he had three guns pointed at him.

When the stranger walked in front of the head lights, Four let out a shaky breath and smiled. Eric on the other hand, scowled at him.

“You shouldn’t be sneaking up on us, Amar. What if we shot you?”

Amar grinned. “But you didn’t. You’re always such a downer, you know that, Eric? Hey, Four!” He cried out when Four stood up and Amar made a beeline for them.

They shook hands amicably and Amar’s grin turned mischievous when he saw her. “And here’s the little trouble maker.” He winked at her.

Who is he calling a trouble maker?! She frowned, taking in his long black dread locks, and dark clothing. _So, this is the dead trainer, huh?_

Before she could reply, the driver of the truck popped his head out and shouted, “Let’s get a move on!”

Amar’s smile turned apologetic. “Looks like we need to cut this short, David is waiting.” He said and clapped her on the shoulder. “Welcome outside the city.”

He ushered them into the back of the vehicle, after greeting Natalie with a quick hug, and hopped back into the passenger seat. The truck started with a loud rev and awkwardly jolted forward. Alexis was jostled by the movement and she grabbed the arm of the person next to her, which happened to be Eric, for balance.

He gave her an annoyed look, but didn’t remove her hand and feeling discomfited by his current attitude compared to earlier, let him go and sat back, wishing he had chosen to sit next to Four instead.

The ride was fairly short unlike their walk and a large, brightly lit building slowly appeared on the dark horizon. Pulling up the long bumpy drive way, Alexis clearly saw that two fences surrounded the long concave building. The first was made of tall metal bars with barbed wire along the top to keep anyone from climbing over and the second was a simple chain-link that hummed. Guards paced the space between the two, making her nervous and every once in a while she could see a dark silhouette walk across one of the windows of the building before disappearing again.

When the truck stopped, Alexis and her company followed Amar and his partner, introduced as Stephan, through the double door entrance to a filthy and boring lobby. There was barely anyone there, due to the late hour, but a few people stood behind tables by another set of doors.

“We’ll have to check in our weapons here.” Amar said, waving to the tables as they approached. “Weapons aren’t allowed inside the rest of the building, but you can pick them up again when you leave.” He said and handed over his gun.

The girl took it and waited as Natalie went up and passed hers over too. Alexis and Four followed quickly and waited as Eric hesitated, a suspicious look in his eye.

He appeared to be assessing the chances of him needing it while inside and finally coming to the conclusion there was a good chance he’d be okay without it, handed it over.

_He probably thinks he could do some serious damage with whatever he finds inside if he was willing to give up his gun._ She snorted to herself and stopped, realizing that he probably could if he needed to.

She eyed up his tall, bulky frame as he stalked over and imagined him stabbing someone in the throat with a pencil if they attacked him in his office. It would be a fast and fluid motion, without much thought and it scared her. But the memory of those same arms wrapped around her, comforting her, came to mind and left her confused.

He caught her staring and quirked an eyebrow at her in silent inquiry. Alexis look away, hoping she wasn’t blushing and followed Amar through the doors.

“Alexis!” Her brother, Mark, shouted as soon as she was in the much cleaner hallway. He jogged over, grinning ear to ear, and crushed her in a bear hug.

“It’s so good to know that you’re alive.” He said, still holding on to her.

“I thought Eric told you I was.” She pulled just enough away so she could look into the golden brown eyes that were so similar to hers.

“He did, but he didn’t tell me where you were and when I couldn’t find you here, I started to get worried that he lied. He isn’t Candor, after all.” He explained.

“I’m also right here.” Eric spoke up behind them, his arms crossed over his chest as he gazed at Mark with clear irritation.

Alexis smirked and chose to ignore him. “So, why didn’t you tell me you were Divergent?! Natalie said you have three aptitudes.” She asked her brother.

“Yeah, I got Amity, Erudite and Abnegation; I would have told you if I knew you were one too. What did you get?” He asked her as they began walking down the hallway behind Amar and Stephan.

“Same as you, plus Dauntless.” She shrugged.

“Wow, so where have you been? You look different.” He asked as they fell into the comfort zone siblings usually shared.

Alexis glanced at Eric who now walked beside her, pretending like he wasn’t listening in on their conversation, and whispered, “In Dauntless; I’ll tell you more later.”

“That’s okay; I need to get going anyway. When they said you were coming, I wanted to make sure I was here to see you so they’re training me how to use the monitors tonight instead, but I’ll see you tomorrow!” He kissed her cheek quickly and jogged off.

Alexis felt uneasy at the fact that it wasn’t a coincidence that Amar was waiting for them outside the gate and asked Eric, “How did they know we were coming?”

“I don’t know.” He replied, his gaze following her brother as he went down a different corridor.

Eventually they were led to a conference room where a middle aged man and a slightly younger woman stood talking. They stopped when Stephan opened the door and they looked at them pleasantly, but the man’s smile grew bigger when he spotted Natalie.

“Mrs. Prior, it’s wonderful to see you again.” He embraced her in a hug that she awkwardly returned and then let her go. “And it’s good to finally meet you, Eric, Four; Alexis. My name is David.” He greeted them all with a hand shake.

“How do you know our names?” Eric asked, his cautious nature shining through.

“Oh, we have eyes and ears everywhere. The Bureau of Genetic Welfare keeps tabs on everything and everyone within the city project, but I won’t bore you with those details just now.” He said with a smile, taking them all in with his gaze.

“You must be famished. Amar, here, will show you where everything is. I just wanted to say a quick hello when you got here, but I promise to explain everything tomorrow when everyone is well rested. Goodnight.” He said, leaving with the woman before any of them could utter another word.

_Well, that was brisk._ Alexis thought, but then decided that she was probably better off getting some sleep before trying to understand the mysteries of the city and the Bureau, anyway.

Amar showed them where they would sleep first. It was a large room with multiple cots lined up in rows and it reminded Alexis of the initiate dorm in Dauntless, but it felt much more open.

“This is where all our guests stay until they decide whether or not they will be staying. If they do then they get assigned an apartment.” He explained to them.

“We have no intention of being placed, Amar.” Eric replied and grabbed Alexis’ bag off her shoulder.

_Hey!_

“We’re only here to save the city and then go back to our normal lives.” He continued, dropping his and her bags on two beds that were side-by-side.

“Of course.” Amar replied casually as Alexis followed Eric.

“What are you doing?” She asked, her brows furrowed in confusion and displeasure.

“I’m picking beds.”

“Okay, but we don’t need to be that close to each other.” Alexis replied, crossly.

“We’re sticking close in case anything happens and we need to get out quickly. Lesson one; don’t trust anyone you don’t know.” He said low enough that only she heard.

She supposed he had a point and gave in with a roll of the eye; Amar continued his tour. “Bathrooms are just outside, someone will bring you a fresh towel in the morning, and if you follow me, I’ll show you the cafeteria and you can grab something to eat.”

“You guys go on ahead. I’m not hungry.” It was the truth. Alexis’ stomach was still knotted up and felt like it might reject anything she tried to put in it. The only thing she wanted to do right now was relax, but Eric gave her that look that said he was unsure.

“Maybe I should stay too.” He said; she knew he was hungry, because his stomach had been rumbling for the last half an hour and her annoyance spiked up.

“No. I’ve spent a week without a moment to myself and now that I’m free I would appreciate some privacy, so please don’t come back until you’ve gained at least 100 pounds.” She scolded him.

To her right, Amar looked amused. “She really doesn’t like you, does she?” He goaded Eric, who gave him an annoyed look in return.

Thankfully, he decided to leave with the others and Alexis sighed in relief. She opened the bag that sat on her new bed, intending to grab her pajamas, and found Eric’s journal sitting on top. Making sure everyone was gone, she picked it up and was going to sneak it back into Eric’s bag before he came back and hesitated.

_What is he writing in here all the time, anyway?_ She wondered peering down at the book. Deciding that they would probably be gone for at least twenty minutes before they came back, depending how far away the cafeteria was and how fast Eric decided to eat, she sat down on her cot and opened to the first page.


	14. Chapter 14

_May 7th,_

_Found a Divergent today at the distribution centre. She was beating up one of my Dauntless team members when I found her; I don’t know why, but knowing Gina, she probably insulted the girl. What clued me in on her possible Divergence was the fact that this Divergent is an Amity member._

_Brought her back with me to Dauntless to test her, but shortly after arriving Jeanine showed up. One of her Erudite spies must have been there when I arrested the girl and told. Jeanine insisted upon being present for the test and unable to deny her without looking suspicious, she witnessed the following aptitudes: Amity, Erudite, Abnegation and Dauntless. Four out of Five. The strongest Divergent I’ve ever seen._

_Jeanine wants me to train her to open that damn box, not that I have any intention of doing so, but while she thinks I’m prepping her mentally for the test, I will be training her for war instead._

_Her name is Alexis Morgan and she better not waste my time._

_He’s writing about me, but why?_ She wondered after the shock of seeing her name written on the paper faded.

_May 8th,_

_First day of training and Four found us already. Fucking bastard has to have his nose in everything doesn’t he? I had to tell him the truth so he wouldn’t go running to Max. If Max were to find out I was training her, then he’d tell Jeanine and she’d know I’m up to something._

_Alexis definitely has talent in the fighting area. She nearly choked me out before I stopped her today, but she has to work on her endurance and knife throwing skills; Four has unfortunately agreed to help and I hate to admit it, but he’s a good teacher, even if he’s soft._

_Our first match showed me that she’s hesitant about fighting, that is until I hit her, then I could see something turn on and it felt like she’d been sparring her whole life. It’s clear now that anger is her trigger. I will continue to use the method of pissing her off to see if she improves._

_I don’t think it will take much effort on my part, though, as she knows how to push my buttons too. Three times today I lost my cool and shouted at her. Her insubordination is also why I will be spending my nights in the initiate dorm with her from now on._

Alexis snorted and looked up to make sure the room was still empty before going back to reading.

_May 9th,_

_Alexis tried escaping in the middle of the night, but her plan was foiled when she ran into Four. I was so pissed off at myself for trusting that her fear of me would keep her from running and at her for actually running, that we ended up battling it out on the mat._

_By the time I had her pinned I was worried I would hurt her and ran off like a coward. Ended up punching the wall to let out some of the anger and I left Four in charge for the rest of the morning, deciding to spend it looking in Abnegation for the woman who did her first aptitude test instead._

_Went back later with lunch to find them all chummy. I don’t know why, but I was jealous. Yeah, she’s pretty, but I’ve learned to keep my feelings out of business, even if I had to stifle the urge to stay and monitor them after that. That Abnegation woman isn’t going to walk into Dauntless on her own, after all._

_Jeanine also sent Alexis’ file today. I was reading it when they came back at the end of training; one look at her and I knew there was going to be a problem. Four had gone and gotten her new clothes, and ones that showed everything._

_After arguing with Four the importance of being her instructor rather than her friend, I needed a cold shower. It worked just in time too, because she came in to take a piss. She was using a blanket as a privacy curtain and I couldn’t resist the urge to push her boundaries, just a little bit, so I got up in her face._

_When she refused to even glance away from my eyes, it made my blood boil with desire to make her look. I take pride in the fact that I look good and women have always liked the view before, but she’s different and I find that I like it._

_I’m going to have to watch myself around her though, because when I patched up her ribs for her the bandage went right up against the edge of her bra and I intentionally grazed my thumb along the underside of her breast. It was when she jumped at my touch that I was reminded of my job._

_Personal relationships make me look weak and I can’t afford to look weak when working with Jeanine as a Dauntless leader. Alexis means nothing to me, but a means to an end._

Alexis frowned, remembering when he told her she was his ticket out and apparently he meant it.

_May 10th,_

_I threw Alexis off the rooftop tonight. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it, push my feelings for someone down so much that I could do what I needed to, which was make her afraid of me. And I succeeded, but the look on her face as she went down, it hurt me to watch it more than any other time I’ve done something like that._

_Thankfully she was so mad that she ripped me a new one and I had an excuse to leave her with Four, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain I caused her._

_That turned out to be a mistake, though. This morning I slipped into the training room to collect her for fear training and heard Four tell her his real name and witnessed the ensuing flow of emotion afterward. I could tell they have feelings for each other and jealousy reared its’ ugly head again._

_I managed to keep it together and was surprised when I had her in my chair for her fear simulation, because she freaked out. Panic attacks are common for some people who have faced a fear, but not before. I calmed her down and she insisted on holding my hand; she obviously needed it so I let her. It was nice to be a comfort for someone rather than the one causing the pain for once._

_Then I saw her fear and understood why she panicked. She’s terrified of needles, and of course I was in there too. Not surprising as most initiates have at least one with me in it and I have been an asshole to her._

_The tables turned, though, when she started harassing me about Four, and bringing up Amar. I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that she was right about why I hate Four, but I snapped._

_I think I scared her, because I found her crying in the bathroom later. As soon as she knew I was there, she pretended like nothing happened and tried to brush me off. When her small body tried to sneak past my large one I could see that she had a necklace on that I never noticed before and when I asked her about it, she tried to hide it._

_I realized it meant something to her and wanting to get back at her, yanked it off her neck. When she finally revealed it was a family heirloom, I told her love only gets in the way and to forget about them. I said it to hurt her feelings, but I mostly said it to remind myself of the mission at hand. I don’t know what she’s doing to me, but I like her more than I should._

_He likes me?_ She thought as butterflies fluttered low in her belly. Alexis was getting eager to read more, but time was running out and she was worried she’d get caught if she took too long. The temptation to go on was too strong to deny, though, and she continued.

_May 11th,_

_Alexis’ fears hurt me deeply today. I upgraded her to two this time and both of them had me in it. In the second, she was scared of turning into me. She doesn’t know, and I know it’s my fault she doesn’t, but the weight of keeping her at arm’s length by scaring her is taking its’ toll._

_I find myself wanting to talk to her, like Four does, but I know she won’t so I keep my mouth shut. What am I supposed to say, anyway? ‘I’m sorry I’ve treated you like shit, but I want to be friends’? Yeah, like that would go well…_

_At least I have something Four doesn’t. I know her fears and I will be dead before I allow him to see them. And if I can’t talk to her, then at least I can calm her attacks._

_May 12th,_

_I broke her._

_Today Alexis tried to kill me in the shower. Four warned me I would push her too hard one day and here we are. How could I do that to someone I care about? Push her so far over the edge she thought she had to kill me to be free?_

_I should have realized what was happening this morning when she refused to fight. She’s depressed, unable to handle the person she was meant to be. She misses her family and I wish I could give them back to her, but I can’t. Maybe I can do the next best thing._

_May 13th,_

_Took her and Four to the old Navy Pier for a game of war with the paintball guns and I think it helped. It felt great to let off some steam with good old fashion shooting, except, they had more fun than I did._

_They teamed up on me, which was fine, I always love a challenge, but it brought them even closer as I watched them goof around on the way home. I wanted her to look at me with her eyes shining with laughter instead of Four, but I know I can never hope for such a thing._

_Alexis is asleep as I write this and when I look over at her I can still see the sight of her basking in the glow of the sun. Her skin was golden and her face peaceful, and in that moment I thought she was beautiful. I still can’t seem to shake it either, but I have to. Tomorrow it’s back to work and back to the lies. We don’t have much time left._

_May 14th,_

_Sometimes I can’t stand Four, times like today when he put the moves on Alexis behind my back. I came back empty handed again from another search of Abnegation to find him kissing her in the training room._

_Rage took over and I tore him away from her and socked him in the face as hard as I could. It took everything I had to not throw her against the wall and show her what a kiss should be like after I sent Four to the infirmary with a broken nose._

_Does she not know what kind of effect she has on me? Those beautiful golden brown eyes that flash with fire when she talks back to me, her silky brown hair that caresses my skin during our fights, her jaw set in determination when she has to face the needle every day._

_She’s brave, she’s smart and she’s sweet, just like she’d supposed to be, and I don’t know why she thinks she’ll ever be like me. I’m nothing but cruel and selfish. Four deserves her more than I ever will and I hate him more for it._

Alexis turned the page over for another passage, but it was empty and flipped back. She even checked the pages to see if they were stuck together, but nothing.

_What happened to the next day when he kissed me?!_ She groaned in frustration.

She could hear voices and heavy footsteps coming from the hallway now and in a panic she flew from her bed to Eric’s and shoved the book into his pack quickly before diving back onto her bed and threw the covers over her still clothed body.

She pretended to be asleep when one of the men came in as the other continued down the hall. He turned the lights off and she listened as he neared, only to be startled when he spoke next to her.

“Why were you sleeping with the light on?” Eric asked, standing above her.

“I didn’t want you guys to trip on your way to bed, so I left them on.” She lied smoothly without looking at him.

She was acutely aware of him more than ever before, knowing what she did now, and paid attention as he sat down without another word and began untying his boots. She could hear them plop against the tiles when he discarded them on the floor and the rustle of fabric when he pulled his shirt over his head.

Alexis could visualize his movements behind her closed eyes as he lay down and sighed when his muscles relaxed against the mattress. She suddenly wanted to know what it would feel like to lay next to him.

_“I’m nothing but cruel and selfish. Four deserves her more than I ever will and I hate him more for it.”_ His last words came to mind and she frowned in the dark.


	15. Chapter 15

Alexis woke up first, feeling too uncomfortable to continue sleeping. Her clothes clung to her body in bunches and the blankets were twisted around her shoes at the foot of the bed. Her stomach growled with hunger as she untangled herself and she decided to get up and look for the cafeteria on her own while the others slept.

It was still fairly dark outside the large windows when she left the dorm and turned right, except for the hint of pale yellow and blue far on the horizon that indicated the oncoming sunrise. The hallway was brightly lit though and she easily found a set of double doors that led to the cafeteria.

Walking in, she spotted a few people wearing blue coats like David was last night sitting at one table, a couple in green on the other side of the room, and a group in black to her left by the door. They all looked at her in fascination as she took a hesitant step forward and she wondered if she made a wrong turn somewhere.

_Are they split up like the factions are_? She wondered at their colour coded clothing and kept walking forward, not caring if she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she could still feel her ears reddening at their stares.

She grabbed a plate and piled it up with food. Most of it was recognizable, but some of it was strange and after sniffing something questionable, she opted to not try anything new just then and went to sit down at an empty table at the front.

Alexis ate her eggs in silence with her head bowed so as not to draw more attention to herself, but she looked up when she heard someone else walk in.

Four scanned the room before spotting her and came over to sit down when he did. She was glad to see a familiar face, any familiar face, because the stares she was receiving were beginning to creep her out.

“I feel like I have an extra head the way they’re staring at me.” She softly said to him as she glanced from person to person.

“I know. They did the same thing to us last night.” He shook his head and frowned when the whispering picked up.

“Do you think they have the same factions we do, here? I don’t know what green would be though.” She asked, immensely curious, but Four just shrugged his shoulders and took a piece of toast off her plate and took a bite.

Giving up trying to figure the place out, they sat in silence until the door swung open again and a young man in blue approached them and cleared his throat beside Four.

“Sorry for the interruption, but David sent me to collect Eric and the both of you. My name is Duncan, by the way.” He added, nervously.

“Great, time to finally get some answers.” Four mumbled, standing up from the table.

Alexis stood up too and offered Duncan a smile. “I’m Alexis.”

“I know.” He said, a blush creeping up his neck.

She wanted to bluntly ask why he knew who she was, but he was clearly shy, so she tried to ease it out of him instead as they followed him out of the cafeteria and back to the dorm for the others.

“So, how come everyone around here has been staring at us?” She asked.

“Oh, umm… you’re sort of celebrities around here.” He replied, his blush deepening.

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

“They didn’t tell you last night?” He sounded surprised. She responded with a shake of the head and he said, “Maybe we should wait until we get to the control room. Would you mind getting Eric? He’s a bit scary when he’s grumpy and I don’t want to be the one to wake him if you know what I mean.”

Alexis shared a look with Four and he shrugged. She watched as he went in, the door closing behind him, and could hear Eric grunt in surprise at the rude awakening he received. A few loud words were shared and she grinned to herself when Four reappeared with Eric behind him, wearing the same clothes from yesterday too and trying to fix his messy hair with his fingers.

“What’s this about?” He asked, not sounding pleased.

“They’re going to tell us what’s going on.” She explained to him.

“This early in the morning?” He scowled at Duncan.

Duncan was about two inches taller than Alexis, so she knew how he felt to be the focus of someone so much bigger and felt sorry for him when he shrank at Eric’s annoyed look.

“David wanted to explain everything now so you could have as much time as possible to do what you need to.” He said.

Eric toned his irritation down and nodded for Duncan to keep walking. They silently followed him to a large room with two desks per wall and two people for each desk, monitoring the many screens in front of them.

“This is the control room; it’s where we keep an eye on everyone and everything that happens within the city. Each faction has a desk, the factionless and street cameras being the sixth, and this one in particular is Dauntless’.” Duncan said, his confidence rising now that he was in his element, and drew them over to the one with the most monitors.

“We like to keep an eye on the leaders especially, because that’s where all the juicy stuff happens, and Dauntless has a lot of them. These are yours, Eric.” He pointed out a couple of them. One was Eric’s apartment and the other his office.

Alexis examined the other screens, since Eric’s where empty, and saw Max sitting at his desk talking to someone, another showed a few Dauntless working out in the gym and as her eyes scanned over the rest, she spotted the initiate dorm and training room; her jaw dropped.

“Wait, you can see everything?” She asked.

“Yep. We have six staff members for each desk on rotation, watching the screens at all times and lately Dauntless has been a popular station. Ever since you got there, Alexis, this place has been buzzing. People even began placing bets.” He explained with enthusiasm.

“Bets?” She asked him.

“Yeah, first it was on whether or not you’d escape, then when you snapped and tried to kill Eric, oh man, everyone was going crazy trying to decide if you’d try it again or not. Now it’s mostly betting on who you’ll choose. Odds are in favor of Four, but Eric’s not too far behind now that we know he’s…”

“If we’re done discussing our personal lives, can we get to business now?” Eric interrupted with a growl.

“Umm, sure. No problem.” Duncan fumbled in reply.

Alexis realized that they had to have known about Eric’s plan all along and knew he wouldn’t kill her from the start, but the knowledge didn’t ease her anger at the fact that they’d been watching her break down, betting on her survival and apparent love life while she thought she was going to die.

She no longer felt sorry for Duncan and now just wanted to punch him in the face. That’s why they were celebrities to them; they were the main entertainment for the entire compound.

“What do you guys know about the Purity War?” Duncan asked.

“Not much, even Erudite is foggy on the subject. As far as I know, it was a war a long time ago that wiped out most of the population and our founders built the city to keep us safe.” Eric answered, though rather disinclined. He didn’t seem happy about the situation either, but wasn’t willing to bash in heads just yet until he got more information.

“Right, I forgot that’s what we told you. Well, we lied to you. I mean, I didn’t lie, someone a long time ago lied but you know what I mean.” He ranted.

“Get on with it.” Eric snarled. “I don’t have all day.”

Duncan cleared his throat and nervously looked around.

“What Duncan is trying to say, rather inelegantly, I might add,” David said walking up behind them with a pointed look at the younger man, “is that a long time ago, the government of the United States of America decided to use an experimental serum that could alter a persons’ genetic make-up and take out the genes that caused deceit, violence, hate, etc… so we could all live in peace.” He explained.

Alexis thought it sounded like a bad idea.

“But it all went wrong when they realized that it not only took those genes away, but others that would make a person be able to function in a normal society. For example, Dauntless are brave, but they are not caring or smart and Amity are peaceful, but not courageous or honest.” He continued.

“After most of the country was devastated by the war, the genetically pure, known as Divergent to you, managed to get control and placed most of the genetically damaged population into cities to contain them in hopes that they could thrive, but they haven’t. Chicago, your city, is the only one where we’ve separated everyone by factions and it’s been the most successful one, but it’s beginning to crumble and we want to save it before it’s destroyed.”

“What about the Divergent that have been born in the city?” Four asked.

David turned to him and answered, “Eventually we noticed that over time genetically pure children were being born to genetically damaged parents and we wondered why; it turns out that our DNA is trying to fix itself generation by generation.

“When we created the factions we did it with the purpose of creating more of you and the aptitude testing would not only help society to function, but it also made it easier for us to identify who was Divergent and how many there were of you.

“Once there was enough genetically pure citizens, the city would cease to exist as it is now and the Divergent would join the rest of the world to help rebuild. That is the information within the box that Jeanine has.” He explained to Eric.

The expression on Eric’s face said that he believed it would be information that Jeanine wouldn’t want to hear and Alexis was inclined to agree. It wouldn’t look good to others if it was found out she was killing the very people the city was meant to create.

“Okay, so does this mean the city has enough Divergents now?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No. Far from it, especially since we’ve lost many over the years, but your help along with Margo’s and Natalie’s has been beneficial in keeping the numbers up each year. We don’t expect there to be enough for another century at the very least, but if the information in that box gets out to the rest of the city then its’ game over. We won’t be able to control the system anymore, that’s why we’re allowing you the use of our facilities and the available Divergent population here to stop Jeanine.” David said.

Eric nodded slowly in understanding. “Alright. I’ll need an office and every map of the city that you have, as well as all the Divergents that know how to fight and maybe some of the smarter ones too.” He said.

“Duncan will get everything you need and you can always find me if you have any more questions.” David said and bade them farewell.

Eric wanted to eat and have a shower before starting and asked Duncan to have a room prepped for him by the time he was done. The smaller man eagerly complied, but stopped Four before he could leave the room too and ask him to do some sort of test first; Alexis was interested in finding out what test, but she wanted to talk to Eric more and followed him out. When he was close to a bathroom, she grabbed his arm and pulled him into it.

“What are you doing?” He asked after he watched her check all the stalls for eavesdroppers and start to turn on all the water taps.

“I’m sound proofing. You heard them; they can see and hear everything in the city, who knows what they can here. I don’t know about you, but I like a little privacy once in a while.” She said, looking at him in the mirror.

“And what exactly do you plan to do in here that needs privacy?” He asked with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and ignored his sexual innuendo, bluntly asking as she turned to face him, “Do you believe them?”

Eric slowly crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her. “You mean, about me being a genetic defect? I don’t know, but it makes sense. The reason you’re the way you are and why I’m the way I am.”

“That’s not what they said.” She lied gently, sensing his disappointment with the truth.

“It is, and they’re right. I’m Dauntless through and through, what else can I be but defected? I’m not like you.” He frowned.

Alexis was beginning to get annoyed with his obsession of not being good enough. He mentioned it when he told her the truth of why he needed her to lead his army; it was in his journal when he thought she wouldn’t smile at him like she does with Four, he probably thought it was because Four was a Divergent too, and now this.

“You’re more than just Dauntless. Why do you keep trying to make me believe you’re worse than you really are? There’s at least one decent bone in your body since you did all this. If the mean Eric was all an act, then why can’t you just let that part of you go?”

“Why do you care?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Maybe, because I want to believe you’re a good guy.” She said.

“I thought Four was the good guy.”

“Four is a good guy, a great guy in fact, but he didn’t get me this far. He didn’t save all these people at the cost of his own personal life either.” She argued.

“Natalie already told you, it’s who I am now.” He glowered.

Alexis froze and he smirked sardonically. “Yeah, I could hear you two talking the other night and you’re right, I’m not sensitive, so if that’s what you’re looking for, then I suggest you run back to Four.”

She cringed at her own words and wished she could take them back. He thought she didn’t want him and it couldn’t be farther from the truth. She didn’t care that he wasn’t Divergent or that he lied to her or pushed her off buildings, what mattered to her now was the fact that he gave up everything to do what he thought was right.

“I’m trying, here.” She sighed, letting her gaze drop to the floor.

“Trying what, exactly?”

“To be your friend, stupid!” She said loudly, trying to get it through his thick skull.

Eric shifted. “I don’t need a friend.”

“Then what do you need, Eric? What can I or anyone else do to prove to you that you’re a good person, someone worth having as a friend?” She asked, feeling like she was talking to a brick wall.

“All I need from you is to do your job and help me win this war. Then you can go home for all I care.” He snapped at her.

Alexis’ heart broke at his words and she knew she had lost the battle. She sighed and said, “You’re right, you are damaged, but it’s not genetically, Eric, it’s emotionally.”

She sighed one last time and placed her hands on his biceps to balance herself as she stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you, for everything.” She whispered, feeling his muscles tense under her hands. She then backed away and walked out, leaving him behind on her way back to the dorm.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone who has read, gave kudos and especially to jaicourtneyisbae and Inlustretlumine for your comments! I love hearing from everyone!

After Alexis had left Eric to ponder what she had said, she went for a shower and was currently in the dorm drying her hair with her towel when Four walked in with a grim look.

“Hey, what happened?” She asked, remembering about his test.

Four shook his head and plopped down onto his bed with a sigh. “Remember how we thought I was Divergent?”

Alexis raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Well, apparently we were wrong. Duncan wanted to test my DNA to see how Divergent I am since my aptitude test came back as Abnegation the first time and it turns out I am just Abnegation. Except I have some sort of gene that allows me to manipulate serums and that’s why it looked like I was Divergent.” He revealed and rubbed his face with the palms of his hands.

Alexis sat down next to him and sympathetically wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“It’s alright, Four. Being Divergent isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway.” She said, trying to comfort him.

He looked at her like she was crazy. “You’re kidding right? I went from thinking that maybe I was special, that maybe I went through hell because I was worth something, just to find out that I’m nothing. In fact I’m less than nothing now. You’re normal according to them, but the rest of us… We’re experiments.”

Alexis didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t deny it any more, like she did with Eric, because it was plainly obvious to everyone what it meant.

Earlier, Eric had seemed resigned to the fact that this was who they were while Four appeared angry about the situation. She supposed it was easier to accept something you suspected all along compared to having to face a truth that was the opposite of what you originally believed and gave him a squeeze.

“You’re still the great guy you’ve always been, Four, and not being Divergent hasn’t changed that. I personally like you either way.” She said and then added, “We better get going, though, or Eric’s going to have a meltdown.” She tried to get up to go, but he caught her arm.

“Wait.” He said and gently pulled her back down beside him. “When Duncan said they were placing bets on who you’d choose between me and Eric, does that mean Eric’s in the running?”

Alexis paused and then said, “I don’t know. They probably saw him kiss me just before you came back with Natalie and thought…”

“He kissed you? Is that why you cut his forehead?” He interrupted, a frown gracing his face.

“Uh… Well, no. I hit him because he insulted my family when he was trying to tell me the kiss meant nothing.” She tried to explain.

“Did it mean something to you?” He asked.

She nervously bit her lip and replied, “Honestly, I don’t know.”

“I see.” He muttered and abruptly stood up before she could tell him about Eric’s unwillingness to let her in.

He made a beeline for the door and Alexis called after him, but he didn’t pay her any mind as he burst through the door. Worried about what he might do, she went after him.

Eric was walking down the hall, coming back from breakfast, and her worry turned into dread when she saw Four’s hand clench into a fist at the sight of his enemy. He marched up to his leader and hit Eric so hard in the jaw that Eric fell sideways into the wall before she could utter a warning.

He blinked, temporarily dazed and said, “What the fuck?!”

“You knew I liked her and you kissed her anyway?! Did you do it to get back at me?” Four shouted at him; hurt radiating off his rigid body.

Eric glanced at her briefly and scowled.

_Oh shit_. She thought. He knew the only way Four knew was if she told him.

Eric straightened himself out and said, “It meant nothing more to me than a chance at a good fuck.”

His taunt felt like a slap to Alexis’ face and she was glad when Four punched him again. His head whipped to the side and when he pretended to rub his jaw, he grabbed Four by the shirt with his other hand and kneed him in the stomach instead.

Four let out a gush of air and Alexis cringed, feeling sick to her own stomach at the sight, but Eric didn’t stop there. He proceeded to punch Four on the side of the head, knocking him to the floor and then waited as Four shook his head out as a crowd of curious onlookers gathered.

“Stay down, Four. I won’t make the same mistake of letting up again.” He said, his fists still clenched tightly at his sides.

Four laughed. “I’m not the same weak Abnegation transfer I was ten years ago, Eric. I don’t need you to let up to win anymore.”

He spun his leg out while still on the floor and knocked Eric off his feet. He landed with a thud and Four pounced on top of him, alternating punches to his head and ribs as Eric blocked what he could.

After a minute or so of this it looked like Eric was tiring, but instead of giving up he suddenly exposed his face to Four’s fists and slid his arms underneath his opponent’s legs and flipped him off. As Four fell to the side and Eric sprang back up onto his feet.

They circled each other, both sweaty and bleeding, until Four lunged a fist at Eric. Eric quickly caught it and used the momentary exposure to knife him in the throat and Four stumbled back, coughing.

It appeared neither of them was going to give up until one of them was dead, so Alexis decided to jump in between them.

“Stop it! The both of you!” She yelled, holding her arms out to separate them.

Eric growled, but took a step back and it took a moment for Four to do the same. Alexis looked at them both, relieved they came to their senses and then looked at the crowd. There had to be at least twenty people now and they were all looking at her expectantly.

_They’re waiting for me to choose one._ She realized and glared at two girls who were whispering to each other. Not willing to play a part in their messed up reality show, she turned to the boys and said, “Both of you in the dorm, now.”  
***

  
“Look, I know both of you are angry with each other and with the world, but beating each other up is not going to help anything. We want to stop Jeanine, right? Then we need to be a team to do it.” She lectured, pacing between the two men who sat glaring at each other on opposite beds, but neither of them was listening.

“Why did you do it?” Four asked Eric out of the blue.

Alexis stopped mid-step, waiting to see what he said with bated breath.

Eric didn’t say anything, though and merely sat there staring at Four with a bored look.

“Dammit, Eric, I need to know!” Four shouted. “Out of all the girls you’ve slept with and then threw away, why her?”

Jealousy panged in her heart, but she ignored it. _Of course he’s been with other women before, just look at him._

“Look, I don’t know why you’ve got your panties in a bunch. I told her this morning she should be with you and one kiss doesn’t mean love, right?” He said, his gaze sliding to her.

Alexis narrowed her eyes back at him. She hated it when he threw her own words back in her face.

He stood up quickly. “Now, if we’re done here we’ve got stuff to do.” He said and left them alone in the room.

She couldn’t believe it was that easy for him, after everything she read in his journal, to just pass her off and move on.

“Where are you going?” Four asked her when she went after him.

“It’s my turn to hit him.” She said and barged her way through the door this time.

“I’m not in the mood, Alexis.” He said when he heard her come after him.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve actually said my name.” She said a bit shocked at how easy it came out of his mouth. She saw his shoulders tense at the comment and asked, “Where are you going?”

“I’m trying to find a gym.” He muttered, looking in each door he walked by.

“Why?” She asked.

“Do you always have to know everything?” He spun around and asked, anger edging his voice.

Alexis skidded to a stop before she ran into him and looked up into his steel blue eyes. “If I ask a question, then yes, I expect an answer.”

Eric stalked forward, effectively backing her up against the wall and placed an arm on either side of her head.

“You want to know why I want a gym?” He said, looking down at her. “Beating the shit out of something always cools me down when I’m pissed off.”

“Why are you pissed off? You could have walked away from Four after he hit you and yet you fought back and said things to hurt him.” She said, not backing down even though the proximity of his body was sending shivers down hers.

Eric’s jaw clenched and his eyes briefly moved down to her lips. “Because he almost stole everything from me.” He whispered, moving an inch closer.

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t get it do you?” He said, looking angry. “He took the top spot in training which meant I was no longer guaranteed a spot in leadership tryouts. Thankfully I got one anyway, but they still picked him for the position even though I was smarter. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t turned it down.

“Leadership was paramount to succeeding with this plan and if I didn’t have it to fall back on there’s a good chance I would have been dead a long time ago.

“You’ve seen it, back at the gate; those guards listened to me with no questions asked. What do you think would have happened if I was a nobody asking them to open it?” He said.

Alexis remained quiet, hearing the truth in his words and he pushed himself away from her.

When he began to walk away she said, “It’s not his fault, Eric. He didn’t know you had some grand scheme up your sleeve; he was just trying to survive, and I think you’d make a great team if you’d learn to work together instead of being at each other’s throat all the time.” Her words echoed down the hall to his retreating figure.

“Maybe one day, Amity, but not today.” He called behind him as he left.  
***

  
As they waited for the Divergent that Duncan had sent for to arrive, they all stood around a table in one of the unused labs and Natalie and Duncan kept glancing at the boys, obviously curious about their appearance.

Everyone that looked at them could plainly see they beat the shit out each other and Alexis suspected the compound was already buzzing with the news.

Eric had a large bruise forming along his jaw and a busted lip to go with the cut that was already on his forehead and Four didn’t look much better.

There was a red mark on his neck and the bandage on his broken nose couldn’t hide the bruising that went to his eyes. Both of the men also had bruises all over their knuckles from the force of each punch they threw.

They looked like crap and she wanted to say as much, but then people in black and some in blue began trickling into the room with Amar in the lead. When the last person entered, Eric cleared his throat and stood up straighter. Alexis wondered when he was going to start talking when he gently kicked her in the leg and she looked at him startled.

_He’s not serious, is he?_ She moaned in her head. She looked back at her new set of recruits and sighed.

“Okay… I know most of you have been watching us on the screens in the control room, so you have a pretty good idea about what’s going on, right?” She asked.

She was met with some bashful nods and even more eager grins.

“So you know that Eric here wants me to lead you all into war with Jeanine because I am a Divergent with four out of five aptitudes, correct?” She said and she received more nods.

“Well, you probably also already know that I came from Amity, a faction where violence is not tolerated and I have only begun to learn anything about fighting a week ago. So clearly I have no idea what I am doing.” She said.

“What are you doing, Alexis?” Eric growled beside her, but she ignored him.

“So, with that in mind I now ask you, do you have a problem with Eric not being Divergent?” She asked and waited as everyone said no in some form or another.

“Good, I now put it to a vote. Who would rather follow me into war?”

Two hands hesitantly rose up out of the crowd.

“Okay, who would rather follow Eric?” She asked again and everyone’s hands shot into the air.

She turned to Eric with a grin. “See.”

He scowled down at her. “That’s great and all, but there’s one problem. The reason why we needed a Divergent army in the first place is because they can withstand Jeanine’s serums and I can’t. Erudite and her offices are surrounded with serum booby-traps, so I’m only good as back up.”

Alexis’ smile fell. “Oh… Well then, Four and I can lead them in and you can be the brains of the operation.” She replied.

“Another problem, I’m not Divergent either.” Four said unhappily and Eric looked at him in confusion.

“Since when?” He asked Four.

“This morning, Duncan tested me.” He explained shortly.

“You can still manipulate serums though, remember.” Alexis piped in.

“You can?” Eric cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Apparently.” Four shrugged.

“Okay… This is what we’ll do then. Alexis and Four will lead a team into the Erudite building and into Jeanine’s lab where she’s holding the box. They’ll retrieve it and bring it back here.” Eric said with authority.

“What about Jeanine? She’s just going to keep killing Divergents if we let her go.” Amar said.

“That’s where my team comes in. If we’re lucky, they don’t realize I’m screwing them over yet and I’ll go in pretending to have a meeting with her. When the opportunity presents itself, I’ll take her out.

“I want all the fighters to be ready to go out at a moment’s notice, so Amar, I’m putting you in charge of the weapons. Then I want the smarty-pants to come up with a way to stop Erudite from contacting Dauntless for help in case they notice what’s going on before we get that box out.

“Duncan will be monitoring Jeanine and Max’s movements for the next day or two and get a better idea on whether or not they’ve clued in to the betrayal and then it’ll be time to head out. Everyone got it?” He asked.

When he was sure the plan was clear he dismissed everyone and Alexis left to find her brother, but as she turned down an empty hallway, Eric called out.

“Wait a minute.” He said, jogging to catch up.

Alexis slowed down and stopped with a sigh. Apparently it was her turn to be ambushed in the hallway.

“Didn’t it cross your mind to run your plan by me before blurting it out at the meeting?” He asked, irritation written over his handsome features.

“I don’t see what the problem is. You wanted to lead a Divergent army and I didn’t, so it’s a win, win.” She replied and started walking again.

“What would you have done if they said no to me?” He said, matching her pace.

“I don’t know, maybe I would have played along with your idea, but I didn’t think they would. They’re not stupid, they know who the better leader is and this might come as a surprise to you, but some people like you just fine the way you are.”

“Not this again.” He rolled his eyes.

“What? Is that too sentimental for someone so insensitive?” She mocked him.

“Name one person who likes me and maybe I’ll think about being sensitive.”

“Well, I know one for sure.” She said slowly.

“Yeah? Who? And my mother doesn’t count.” He said looking at her.

Alexis smirked. “Not your mom… Me.”

“You.” He laughed. “I don’t need you to lie to me out of pity. I’m a big boy, I can handle the truth.”

“I’m not lying.” She frowned.

Eric stopped laughing and narrowed his eyes at her. “Why?”

“Why?” She scoffed at him. “Do I really need to spell it out?” She asked.

Eric gave a slight nod and she sighed. “Fine. I like you because you’re good at what you do, you help others, you’re smart, and you can be kind when you want to be. Why are you so hell bent on refusing my friendship?”

“I don’t want you to be my friend because you feel sorry for me.” He said and looked away, his jaw set.

Alexis took his hand and made him stop walking with a tug. “Then you went about it the wrong way. Saying mean things to me and Four doesn’t make me want to like you at all, you know.”

“Then, maybe you should stop listening to what I say and pay attention to what I do.” He said sadly, glancing down at their clasped hands before slipping his free and walking away.  
***

  
Mark found Alexis sitting on her bed in the dorm, deep in thought. When he sat down at the foot of it, she smiled at him.

“Hey, Stacey said you were looking for me.” He said.

“Yeah, I tried to find you in the control room, but they said you weren’t working in that one.” She shrugged.

“Oh, there’s more than one control room around here. I’m learning to watch Indianapolis. I’ll tell you, the Factions are heaven compared to that place. All night someone was fighting someone else over something. One guy even set a house on fire.” He explained with a mixture of revulsion and excitement.

“Really? How many cities are there?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“I think there’s about six or seven. I haven’t learned much about them yet, though.” He replied.

Alexis finally noticed the blue outfit he was wearing and thought maybe he knew the answer to her question. “So what’s with the colour coded uniforms? I thought everyone here was supposed to be Divergent.”

“Oh, no not everyone. The black uniforms are the Divergent who take care of security around here and the rest of us Divergent wear the blue coats. The green ones are the people who aren’t Divergent. They usually do the jobs that our Factionless take care of, like maintenance and stuff.” He explained.

“Oh.”

“Have you been lying around all morning? I thought you guys were planning a war.” He said, nudging her.

“No, I have not been lying around all morning.” She scrunched her face up at him. “We met with everyone and we came up with a plan already, and now I’m just thinking.”

“Would you happen to be thinking about which boyfriend to pick?” He asked, his golden brown eyes sparkling with mischief. “Because I heard that this morning they got into a fight over you.”

“Not you too.” She groaned and shoved his shoulder playfully.

“Hey, I’m just going by the rumor mill. Seriously, though, are the rumors true?” He asked, brushing his shaggy blond hair out of his eyes.

Alexis sighed and pursed her lips as she looked away.

“No way! My sweet big sister has two Dauntless guys drooling over her. Which one do you think you’ll pick? I think Eric’s kinda hot.” He grinned.

“You would. You always did go for the blond guys and the girls too for that matter.” She said, returning his smile.

“Free love baby, and if I recall correctly, you always liked the same guys I did.” He winked.

“I know,” She rolled her eyes, “but I doubt Eric would go for you if I didn’t pick him. It sounds like he’s all about the ladies.”

“Ah, that’s okay. The Bureau has rules on that sort of thing anyway. No more boys for me.” He shrugged.

“What do you mean?” She sat up straighter, intrigued.

“Something to do with remaining genetically pure. Speaking of which, if you stayed here you wouldn’t be allowed to be with him either, because he’s not Divergent.”

She furrowed her brows at that and thought it was silly.

Something cackled beside her and she jumped at the sound. Mark quickly reached around his belt and grabbed the walkie-talkie.

“Mark, here.” He said into it.

“David wants you and your sister in his office.” The voice on the other end said.

“Alright, we’ll be right there.” He replied and put it back. He looked at her expectantly.

“Guess we better get going. What do you think he wants?” She asked, getting up.

“I have no idea. I hope we’re not in trouble.” He said.  
***

  
“Thank you for coming.” David said from behind his desk as they entered the room. He gestured for them to take a seat and they sat down in the chairs opposite him.

“I wanted to discuss something with you both and I would appreciate it if you kept it quiet from your friends.” He said to them, Alexis in particular.

“Okay.” She hesitantly agreed.

“When I explained to you about the Divergents and the experimental cities, I purposely left something out.” He said and leaned over his desk slightly.

“You see, when Erudite began killing the Divergent population we became worried that the cities would be too dangerous for them and so we created a new city that would be meant just for the Divergent who got out, such as yourselves. We give everyone the choice though and I wanted to explain everything and run it by you before you leave.” He said.

Alexis’ interested was peaked and she listened intently.

“There are three options to choose from: you can go home to the city when it’s safe, you can choose to stay here and work with us, or you can go to the new city and live out your lives the way people were always meant to.

“The catch is, with the new city it requires everyone to take the Abnegation serum. You will lose all your memories of who you are, your friends and family and everything that has happened to you, but oddly enough, you will keep everything you’ve learned. We’ll then give you new memories to suit the life you’ll be assigned. This way everyone has a chance to start over.” David explained, leaning back in his chair.

Alexis took in everything he said and asked when an idea popped into her head, “If we go home, do we have to go back to Amity?”

“I suppose not. We could always do what we did for Natalie and erase certain people’s memories and place you where ever you want to go, as long as you have an aptitude for it.” He contemplated.

“You don’t want to go home?” Mark asked her.

“I don’t know, Mark. I was just asking in case…”

“In case you fall in love with a certain Dauntless member?” He teased.

Alexis glanced at David and kicked her brother hard on the shin.

“Ow!” He shouted and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Obviously, I don’t expect an answer right away. Why don’t you sleep on it and see how you feel once this whole mess is over.” David suggested after calmly witnessing their sibling antics.

They agreed to do just that and Alexis and her brother left his office for the cafeteria as thoughts raced through her mind.


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

The only seats still available in the packed cafeteria when Mark and Alexis arrived were the ones next to Duncan, so they made their way over to the end of the table and he looked up in surprise at their appearance.

“Hey.” Mark greeted as he scooted in next to him.

“Hi.” He replied, his cheeks reddening when he glanced at Alexis as she slid into the seat in front of him.

She was still annoyed at him for earlier when he let their celebrity status slip, but she knew she couldn’t shoot the messenger when it wasn’t his fault they had cameras everywhere, and his obvious crush on her softened her irritation.

“Hey Duncan, hope your friends don’t mind if we steal you for a bit.” She said.

“Ah, no, it’s okay.” He mumbled into his salad and then looked up, like he suddenly remembered something. “Actually I need to talk to you anyway.”

“Yeah? What about?” She asked between mouthfuls of pasta; Mark curiously looked up too.

“Eric asked me to look into your panic attacks and I think I found a serum that will keep them away for a short while.” He answered.

_I bet he did._ She grumbled in her head, annoyed that he intruded in her life and yet he wouldn’t allow anyone into his.

“You’re having panic attacks again?” Mark pushed into their conversation, concern written all over his features.

Alexis nodded, not wanting to get into it but she knew he wouldn’t let it go if she avoided it.

“You haven’t had them since after your surgery…” He said and paused. “What happened?”

“What do you think, Mark?” She replied with sarcasm. “Eric and his fear simulations happened.”

“What?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Alexis cringed inwardly. She forgot he didn’t know what happened after her arrest and remembering that she did promise to tell him, she began her story with a deep sigh.

“I don’t blame you for not being all over him, now.” Mark said once she was done, his brows creased.

Duncan, who listened to the whole story with intense attentiveness, spoke up. “Speaking of the fear sims and your attacks… Eric thought it would be best if we took care of them so you didn’t have any in the middle of storming Jeanine’s castle, so to speak.”

At the mention of his name, Alexis searched the room for him. Four was sitting with Natalie and Amar, deep in conversation across the room, but Eric wasn’t with them, not that she was surprised. At this point, she’d be shocked if they even talked to each other more than what was absolutely necessary.

She kept searching until she spotted a familiar pair of steely blue eyes a few tables ahead of them staring her down. She refused to look away in shyness and stared back as butterflies tingled low in her belly.

Eric was playing with his food, a frown of contemplation on his face as he held her gaze, and after what felt like minutes had passed, he abruptly stood up with his tray and left.

_What’s his problem now?_ She wondered as she watched his broad back leave the room.

“So, what do you think? Can you handle it?” Duncan asked, bringing her back to reality.

“Huh?” She inarticulately asked.

Mark smirked at her spacing out. “He was telling you about the serum. It’s an injection; do you think you can handle it?”

Alexis groaned. “You guys seriously need to come up with serums that you can take orally.” She complained to Duncan.

“Some are…” He tried to protest until she cut him off.

“No, I mean all of them.” Alexis said with a straight face, because she was not joking.

“Okay, I’ll get right on it.” Duncan said failing to hide his amusement as his lips tugged at the corners. “But I guarantee this one is worth it. You shouldn’t have any attacks for at least five or six days.”

“Fine.” She gave in with a shake of the head. “Mark has to come, though.”

“Of course.” Duncan agreed.  
***

  
Thirty minutes later, Alexis sat on an examination table in a small sterile room that reminded her of the Erudite hospital. Her palms were beginning to sweat at the memories and she counted to ten over and over again to try and gain control of her body.

Mark stood beside her as Duncan rummaged through a cabinet full of vials and she grabbed his hand when Duncan decided on one and picked up the needle.

“Geez, you’ve got a grip on you!” Mark winced in pain. “I still don’t get it. How can you be so scared of a little needle?” He said with ignorance.

“Mark, you need to learn to shut up; Eric never complained.” She said through clenched teeth.

It felt all wrong.

Mark didn’t understand and even though his hand was long fingered, it was too bony and smooth to give her any comfort. She’d gotten used to Eric’s large calloused hand that gripped hers back with silent encouragement and she tried to fight back the panic that rose up in her chest at the thought that she might not be able to do it without him.

_Where is the brute when you need him?!_ She thought in a mixture of irritation and longing.

Her vision became blurry and she closed her eyes to keep the room from spinning. The image of Eric’s face appeared in her mind’s eye and she focused on the spark of fury in his blue eyes and the irritating smirk on his full lips. She wanted desperately to kiss them again and she tried to recall the memory of what they felt like.

“All done.” Duncan declared and her eyes popped open.

Alexis swayed a bit from the action, but Mark held her up by the shoulder.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked her.

She nodded and said, “Just let me lie down for a minute and then I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked as he helped her lie back on the examination table.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll meet up with you guys later.” She dismissed them, wanting time to think in private.

“Sure.” He said and patted her arm before he pushed Duncan out the door with him.

When she heard the click of the door closing behind them, she let out a breath she didn’t know she held and grabbed her face in frustration.

Eric, she chose Eric. She didn’t even know it until that very moment when she realized she wanted him so badly to just comfort her.

Earlier when she wanted him to let her in, she thought she was only doing it because he needed someone, but now it was obvious it was because she actually cared about him.

Alexis turned onto her side and hugged her knees, wishing he would climb up behind and wrap his strong arms around her trembling body, because although his presence didn’t always mean safety, it did mean strength and the absence of it was growing bigger by the second.

She wanted him to chase away the fear that was beginning to creep up on her because she wasn’t sure she had the energy to do it by herself as questions danced in her mind.

There was a good chance she could die tomorrow or the next day, but if she survived… What then? Would she go back with them to Dauntless or go home to Amity?

The Divergent city sounded tempting too. A fresh start somewhere she wouldn’t have to hide, but it had one ultimate flaw; Eric wouldn’t be able to go with her. It was apparent that all her choices depended on one thing, Eric.

She had no idea what to do and needed advice from someone who would understand her predicament. Only one person came to mind and so she steeled herself to get up.

The room tilted for a second, but then straightened out and she took a steady step forward. She felt better once she left the room and began walking down the warmly lit hallways on her way to find Natalie.

It took some inquiries into her whereabouts, but Alexis eventually found the older woman in one of the control rooms watching the screens intently.

“Natalie?” She said trying not to startle her in case she was too absorbed with the footage of Abnegation.

Natalie turned and smiled at her. “Hello, Alexis.” She greeted.

“Am I disturbing you?” She asked to be polite.

“No, I was just checking in on my family. Is there something I can do for you?” Natalie asked her, concern showing through the crinkle between her eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah… I was hoping you could give me some advice.” Alexis nervously replied.

“Of course.” She said and pulled out a chair for Alexis to sit in.

Alexis took it graciously and sat down, looking around to see if they had any eavesdroppers and wondered where to begin.

“If you don’t mind my asking, is your husband a Divergent?” She asked, hoping she didn’t offend the other woman.

Natalie’s lip twisted up, obviously knowing where this was going and said, “No, he is not.”

“Does it help make it easier to live in the factions because he’s not?” Alexis asked, playing with a loose string that dangled from the edge of her pant pocket.

“No.” She replied. “But it’s worth it to be with him anyway.” She said and then leaned in to look at her closely. “Is this about the boys?”

“Yes and no, I suppose.” Alexis sighed. “I was informed this morning that I had options as to where I wanted to go after and I’m having a hard time deciding what I should do.”

“I see.” Natalie said, sitting back in her chair. “So you want to know if going to Dauntless with them will make you happy or not?”

Alexis nodded.

“Well, I can’t say either way for sure. Every Divergent is different so I wouldn’t know if Dauntless would make you any happier than any of the other factions, but I can say this: What comes easily will also go easily.” Natalie said parting with her wisdom and looking at her with a gentle knowingness.

Alexis looked away and let out a breath. None of it sounded easy to her.

“Eric won’t let me in and each time I try to get through to him he pushes me away. I don’t know if I should keep trying or just move on.” She glumly revealed to the older woman.

“Hmm, Eric is a stubborn man, and if he’s the one you want then I’d have to say you’re going to have to wait for him to be ready. He won’t come to you unless he wants to, but with that being said… You can’t make a life-long decision based on hope either.” Natalie reasoned.

Alexis’ face fell as her hopes of an eureka moment were dashed.

“I’m sorry if I just made the decision harder for you.” Natalie sincerely apologized.

Alexis shrugged her shoulders. “It’s okay. At least I have something to think about now. Thanks, Natalie.” She said getting up.

She left the room and slowly walked away, deep in thought.  
***

  
Dinner revealed that Duncan found nothing out of the ordinary about Jeanine or Max’s behaviours or routines and tomorrow evening they would set out.

When Alexis asked about why no one knew something was up, Four told her it was because they told Max that Jeanine wanted them to search the factionless for another Divergent for the box and it would take them a few days to return. He apparently took them at their word, because he didn’t mention it to Jeanine and passed off the guards’ reports of them leaving the city.

Eric was nowhere to be seen after his meeting with Four and Duncan to discuss their plans and Alexis was surprised to find him in the dorm sometime after dinner. Her heart soared at the sight of him reclining on his bed as he wrote in his journal.

_Is he writing about me again?_ She wondered as she neared their beds and found it odd that he didn’t glance up at her presence. She could tell he knew she was there though, because his shoulders tensed and his jaw clenched.

“Are you okay? You didn’t come to dinner.” She said, sitting down on her bed.

“I wasn’t hungry.” He mumbled, still avoiding her gaze.

“You should eat though, to keep up your energy for tomorrow.” She pushed, wanting him to look at her.

“I’ll be fine.” He slammed his book shut and stood up with an audible groan.

Concern immediately took over. “What’s the matter?” She asked and stood up too.

“Nothing.” He said and turned away, grimacing as he looked through his bag for another shirt.

“Obviously it’s not nothing. Let me see it.” She said, lifting the back of his shirt up without his permission and he stilled as she touched his flesh.

“Ow.” He flinched when she reached his shoulder blade and she saw the dark bluish-purple bruise that covered a large amount of skin there.

“Geez, Eric.” She cringed at the sight of it.

“Is it bad?” He asked.

“It probably looks worse than it really is. When did this happen?” She was scared to touch it in case she hurt him.

“When I hit the wall after Four punched me.” He replied.

“And you haven’t taken care of it?” She frowned at his back.

“I’ve been busy.” He muttered.

“I think you’re an idiot for injuring yourself like this before going to war.” She said, letting his shirt fall back down.

Eric stepped away from her and grumbled, “I didn’t exactly have a say in getting attacked in the first place, you know. Besides, it’s not like the rest of me is in perfect shape either.” He said, rubbing his chest where she shot him with the paintballs.

Alexis smiled apologetically at him. “They still hurt?”

He gave her a look and said, “What do you think?”

Alexis shuffled, unsure about what to do. “Do you need something for the pain, like some medicine or an ice pack or something?”

“I’ll be fine.” He said, abandoning his shirt and laying down on the bed. He closed his eyes and rested his hands on his stomach.

She stared at him for a second before turning to her own bed and grabbed her PJs. She was about to head to the bathroom to change when Eric spoke, “You should do it.”

“Do what?” She stopped and asked, confused about what he was referring to.

“Go to the Divergent city.” He said still relaxing with his eyes closed.

“How do you know about that?” She asked, her heart plummeting at his suggestion.

“I walked by another control room and noticed they were watching inside the Bureau. I became curious so I went in and saw you and Mark talking to David and decided to listen in.” He said with a shrug.

“And they just let you?” She was astonished at his ability to do whatever he wanted.

“There are some perks to being me. Everyone was too scared to tell me to get lost.” He smirked, amused with his effect on people.

Alexis frowned. “You did hear the part where if I go I would have to forget everyone, right?”

Eric finally opened his eyes and watched her. “Yes, I did, but you don’t belong in the Factions and I don’t want you to stay here either.”

“Why don’t you want me to stay here?” Anger was slowly replacing her confusion.

“Do I need a reason?” His eyebrow lifted.

“Yes, you do.” She said staring back at him. “If you want me to leave just because of Four, then you can go to hell. You don’t have to send me away if you don’t want Four and I to be together, just say it.” She said, silently pleading he would confess something.

“Of course I don’t want you to be together. He’s my enemy, and I would rather you be gone for good then to see him happy when I’m miserable.” He said hotly, his jaw jumping when he finished.

Alexis could feel her cheeks redden with anger. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say about it? You hate him so much you’d rather push away the only person who was probably willing to love you because of some personal vendetta?” She shouted at him.

Eric stilled when she mentioned love and said, “You love me?” He sounded like he didn’t believe her.

“Of course I don’t!” She lied in her anger. “How could I love someone so full of hate?!” She spat at him and watched as hurt and resignation filled his eyes.

Needing to physically vent her rage, she threw her PJs at his head and then ran out of the room. She had no idea where she was going, but allowed her feet to take her anywhere and eventually found herself heading towards the Indianapolis control room where Mark worked.

He had night shifts this week, he had told her, and she guessed that her body must have sought him out in her rage. She opened the door and peered in, seeing him behind one of the many desks, staring at one of the screens as his partner pointed something out to him.

Alexis hesitantly stepped in and cleared her throat to get their attention. Everyone turned to look at her and she shyly waved at her brother. Curious glances watched him stand up and walk over with a concerned look.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, placing his hand on her elbow.

“Yeah, I just needed to get out of the dorm, is all. Do you mind if I hang out in here?” She asked, looking around at the others who were openly watching them instead of their screens.

“Uh, Tom, is it okay if Alexis hangs out?” He turned and asked his partner.

Tom shrugged and said, “I don’t mind. Nothing interesting ever happens in Indianapolis, anyway.”

Alexis followed Mark to his desk and pulled up a comfy looking swivel chair and sat down. She leaned over to see the monitor better and yawned. It was a long day and she felt emotionally drained as her anger dissipated.

The image of an empty street in some far away city she’d never seen before, and probably will never see, reminded her of the conversation with David and she imagined the road filled with people that she might one day pass by on her way home.

The dim lighting and low hum of the screens quickly lulled her to sleep as her day dreams turned into real ones.  
***

  
_Her body felt like lead as it sunk deeper and deeper in the water. Alexis wanted to swim to the surface, but her limbs were unwilling to cooperate and she became confused when she heard deep voices whispering incoherently around her._

_Suddenly she felt her heavy body being lifted into someone’s arms and she could breathe again. Her cheek cradled the hard chest of her rescuer as his strong arms held her body against his, carrying her away from the dangerous waters._

_In no time the arms were replaced with the softness of fabric and she felt like she was floating on a cloud as something warm tickled her lips and she smiled._

_“Eric.” She mumbled in her sleepy state, her heart soaring at the thought that he came back to save her before everything faded to oblivion._


	18. Chapter 18

The sunlight was shining in Alexis’ eyes when she woke up in her bed the next morning and she quickly sat upright when she couldn’t remember how she got there.

“Morning.”

Alexis jerked at Four’s deep voice and turned to find him facing her as he sat on his bed with a dour look.

“Good morning...” She hesitantly returned, wondering what caused his gloomy expression.

He looked down and smirked at the irony of her comment and his current mood. “I’m not sure how good it’s going to be, honestly.” He said.

“What’s the matter? Where’s Eric?” She asked, turning around to find Eric’s bed empty.

“I was going to ask you that. Neither of you were here when I came to bed last night. Was it some sort of lovers’ tiff?” He asked.

Alexis quickly looked back at him, guilt making its way through her body.

“What makes you think that?” She said wishing he would leave the topic alone.

“This.” He picked up Eric’s journal stuffed full of ripped papers and tossed it at her. “I found it shredded to pieces on the floor this morning; I had no idea his feelings for you were that strong.”

The book landed on her lap gently and she looked down at it.

“Don’t you want to read it?” He asked when she didn’t touch it.

“I already have.” She quietly admitted and Four bowed his head.

“Is that why you’ve fallen for him too?” He asked, sounding dejected.

“I never said I have.” She replied, not wanting to admit to him her feelings for the world’s biggest asshole.

“But you did, last night.” Four said, looking up at her with hurt swimming in his brown eyes.

Alexis’ brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t remember talking to you last night.”

“That’s because you were asleep.” He said, a frown adorning his features. “When you didn’t come back I got worried and went looking for you. I found you fast asleep in the control room with Mark and I carried you back, but then you said Eric’s name when I kissed you.”

_Oh…_

“I’m sorry, Four.” She said, feeling remorse at the lack of affection she felt towards the man in front of her when he was clearly the better choice.

“I find it laughable that you would choose the guy who would let you sleep in the control room because of a fight.” He said, his anger picking up.

Alexis’ hand clenched the blankets, her anger at Eric and herself increasing at the memory of their last conversation and said, “I know logically you’d be the better boyfriend, Four, and I really wish my heart would choose you, but it’s made it’s fucking decision and I can’t seem to stop it, even if he is a complete douche bag who deserves his balls ripped off.” She seethed in apology.

He groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Have you told him yet?”

Anger flashed behind her eyes. “No.”

“Why not? If you’ve already read the book, then you know he’s in love with you too.”

Alexis looked away from him. “He doesn’t love me. He loves nothing and no one except vengeance and hate and I don’t want to be with someone like that.”

“Then be with me.” Four said grabbing her hand. “I can make you happy.”

All fight left her and she sighed. “I can’t do that to you, Four. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them and I’m not sure I can do that. I don’t want you to waste your time waiting for something that might never come.” She said, squeezing his hand.

He steeled his jaw and nodded in defeat. “Fine, I will respect your decision, but I hope you made the right one.” He said getting up.

“Me too.” She whispered as she watched him leave her alone.  
***

  
The sky was darkening quickly when they left the Bureau for the city gates and Alexis wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the cool evening air as their truck whizzed through the rundown terrain.

Her party was the larger of the two and so they were bouncing around in the back of the biggest truck the Bureau had as Eric and his team took the other before them.

Earlier in the day when they were still getting ready to leave, Alexis avoided him as much as she could while Four avoided them both and his distance from her didn’t go unnoticed by Eric.

After their brief walkthrough of the plan, Eric handed Alexis the map of Erudite and managed to stop her from leaving by tightening his grip on her hand.

When everyone was out of ear shot he had said, “I don’t know what’s up Four’s ass today, but I want you to stick to him like glue, got it? He’ll keep you safe out there.”

She was surprised to hear the confidence in Four’s abilities come out of his mouth after what he said about hating the man and stood frozen looking up into his warm blue eyes. He had stood there staring back for a few seconds before he loosened his grip and let his fingers trail down hers, setting the nerves in her arm on fire, and walking away.

She was currently trying to push the memory away by recounting the plan in her head as she hugged herself. Eric would go first under the pretense that he was coming back from his mission to deliver a Divergent to Jeanine and distract her as Alexis and Four’s team snuck around the back and got the box.

The plan was pretty simple and Eric seemed confident it would work well, but Alexis couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach as they drew closer.

The trucks eventually slowed to a stop and in an eerie silence, she calmly gathered her things with everyone else before hopping out the back and landing in the same spot where Amar had picked them up; from here they would walk the rest of the way.

A while later they were huddled behind a fallen wall watching as Eric’s team of five made their way to the gate. One of them was a girl who looked similar to Alexis and Eric had her arm gripped tightly as he dragged her along in an attempt to convincingly look like he did capture an unwilling Divergent. Beams of light descended upon them and a voice echoed out of the intercom.

“State your name and business.”

Alexis narrowed her eyes. The woman was a lot calmer than she’d thought they’d be at finding someone outside the gate for the first time in history and beside her Four appeared to feel the same because he frowned.

They were too far away to hear Eric’s reply, but they could see him clearly and when he gave no indication of backing out of the plan, a collective sigh went through the group as the door opened and Eric’s team went in.

If everything went by design, they would be heading to Erudite where they would keep Jeanine busy and all Alexis and her team had to do was wait until the appropriate time to follow.

The Bureau supplied them with the code for opening the gate from the outside and after fifteen minutes they crept closer, shooting anyone visible with a special paralytic serum, and Alexis punched it in.

As soon as the doors began to creak open, shouting could be heard from the other side and Four pulled her behind him by the edge of the entrance. Shots were fired from both sides as the gap widened until none of the Dauntless still stood.

The Divergent inched their way in, ready for more to come barreling at them, but they quickly realized the area was deserted, save for the half a dozen soldiers who lay paralyzed on the ground around them, and Alexis turned to Four.

“Something’s wrong. Why would they leave the gate so unguarded? I’ve never seen less than twenty soldiers at the gate before.” She said, thinking back on her days in Amity.

“Neither have I.” Four said looking around in concern. He pulled his radio off his belt and pushed down on the button. “Where are you guys?” He asked it.

“We’re heading towards Erudite. Everything’s still a go.” Stephan said over the speaker.

Four glanced at her with a look of inquiry and she shrugged her shoulders. She had no idea what to do since everything seemed to be going fine despite her gut feeling.

“Alright, let’s keep going.” He called out to the rest and they booked it to the train before they could get caught.

Alexis paused beside one of the fallen soldiers who watched her intently and she said before running after them, “Sorry, dude.”  
***

  
The sound of the trains’ clacking along the tracks was loud, especially when accompanied with the whooshing of wind as someone leaned out the door to watch for the bright lights of the Erudite compound and after watching him look out for the last ten minutes, Alexis was confused when he suddenly fell out with a yell.

The appearance of another person climbing in explained it when she realized it was a Dauntless soldier who pulled the man out and she instinctively aimed her gun at him.

He looked right at her, but instead of shooting her he turned his weapon on the woman next to her and fired. The girl went down, blood seeping out of the wound in her chest and Alexis fired her gun too. She hit him in the shoulder and he flinched, but it didn’t stop him. He kept shooting people around her as they tried to shoot him back, but their serum bullets were all ineffective.

Two more soldiers climbed into the car and knowing her gun was useless, Alexis threw her gun down. Screams and moaning surrounded her as the shooting continued in other cars and in the corner of her eye she spotted Four using his gun as a club.

There weren’t very many Divergent left alive in their compartment, maybe six tops including her and Four, and she found it odd the soldiers kept passing their weapons over her for the others.

She knew she had to do something quick or they would kill them, so when the nearest soldier came to grab her arm she took the man’s wrist and twisted his arm behind his back while wrapping her other arm around his throat and falling backwards so he went down with her and then flipped him out the door with her legs.

She awkwardly sprung back up and went for the next soldier. She grabbed the girl by the ponytail and yanked hard, making her shot miss and poke a hole in the ceiling of the train car instead of the Divergent on front of her and the girl snarled in pain before she whacked Alexis on the arm with her rifle, making her let go as her elbow throbbed.

A quick glance at Four showed her he was holding his attacker off with hand to hand combat and she focused on the girl again when she was punched in the stomach by her.

The padding of her coat took the brunt of the hit and she smirked at the girl before swinging her own fist out and connecting with the flesh and cartilage of her nose.

The sound of it breaking was over shadowed by another gun shot, though, and Alexis immediately froze when she saw Four stubble into the wall with a small hole in the side of his coat. His hands shook as they pressed down on it and he slid to the ground.

Alexis grabbed the gun from the girl without much effort and fired; again, and again, until all the Dauntless soldiers were down and then she ran to Four, the gun discarded where she dropped it in her haste.

“It’s going to be okay, Four. I promise.” She said through her tears and helped him press down to stop the bleeding that oozed between their fingers.

The sight of it triggered the image of one of her fears where Four lay dead in a warehouse full of lifeless Divergent and she looked around at the carnage before her.

It was the same.

Dead Divergent littered the floor of the train all around her and Four was covered in bloody hand prints beneath her. Her breath caught in her throat and the room spun. Four gripped her hands when she began to hyperventilate.

“Breathe… Alexis… just breathe.” He panted and a sob came out of her at the knowledge that he was trying to comfort her when he was the one dying.

The sound of boots hitting the metal floor of the compartment caught her attention and she watched through a blurry haze as a man approached her. He pulled her up by the arm and tried to drag her away, but she resisted.

“No, no.” She gasped, reaching out to Four. She couldn’t leave him.

She weakly tried to pull away, scrapping her hands at the man’s face, but the edges of her vision were quickly darkening so much that she passed out with the sound of Four faintly calling her name before she could free herself.  
***

  
Alexis woke up in a brightly lit room with the urge to vomit and when she tried to run to the bathroom, realized that restraints held her down to a bed. Out of necessity, she leaned to the side and puked onto the sterile white floor instead.

“You could have said something first, you know.” A disgusted female voice said in the corner.

Alexis groaned and rolled back in hopes that her stomach would stop churning. Heels clicked as the woman came closer and she felt a pinprick on her arm.

“This should help you feel better.” The woman said.

Alexis immediately felt the roiling in her stomach go away along with all feeling in her limbs and she freaked out at the woman as she tried to lift her arm. “What did you do to me?”

“It’s just a sedative to help with your cooperation.” The woman explained.

Alexis could do nothing, but stare at her and she took in her new acquaintance’s appearance. She was young, but still older than Alexis, with long black hair tightly pulled back in a bun and blunt bangs that reached the top of her perfectly manicured eyebrows. She even had the Erudite blue rimmed glasses perched on a very long nose to showcase her striking green eyes and Alexis would have thought she was pretty if she wasn’t trying to kill her.

“Where am I?” She asked, finally looking beyond the woman.

“You’re in Jeanine’s lab within Erudite.” The woman answered, peering down at her with disinterest.

“Why?”

“To finish the job Jeanine originally let you live to do.” She said matter-of-factly.

“The box...” Alexis said to herself.

“Precisely.” The woman said, picking up a clipboard from the edge of the bed and began to read it.

“What did she do with Eric and Four? How long have I been here?” Alexis asked, remembering that she left Four to bleed out on the train and Eric was supposed to be with Jeanine.

“Thirty eight minutes.” She replied without looking away from her chart. “Eric is still in Jeanine’s office trying to distract her from your little raid, but he has no idea that she already knows and has taken out your entire force by now.”

“The entire force?” She asked in disbelief, her heart sinking.

“No one was left alive on that train except you, including Four.” The woman said, finally peering at Alexis with a smug look.

“How? How did you know?” She asked, needing to know where they went wrong; wishing she could go back in time to stop it before Four was hurt.

“Obviously, we had someone on the inside.” The woman smirked down at her and then looked at her watch. “I’d love to chat some more, but we’re running out of time.”

She reached above Alexis’ head and pulled down a thick cord that hung from the ceiling and Alexis swallowed thickly at the sight of the pointy needle at the end of it.

“Uh, I hope you don’t plan to stick me with that unless you’re alright with me puking on your floor again.” She said, hopelessly trying to stall her.

“Oh, a little more puke won’t matter compared to what we usually have to clean up after one of these tests. It can get rather hard on the subject’s brain if they aren’t built to withstand it, if you know what I mean.” The woman said, a small smile lifting her lips.

Alexis had to supress the urge to puke again. “It doesn’t explode does it?”

The woman rolled her eyes. “No, it does not explode. It just liquefies under the intensity of the simulation and you can imagine the mess that makes.” She said, a grin spread on her thin lips as she watched for the younger girl’s reaction.

Alexis stared at her in revulsion. “You’re a creepy lady.”

The unnamed woman chuckled and firmly lifted Alexis’ head to gently insert the needle. Alexis whimpered when she could feel it go into her spinal cord at the base of her skull and tears rolled down her cheeks at the thought that she may never see Eric again.

“You better hope you’re as good as Jeanine expects you to be.” The woman said after laying her back down and typing away at her computer.

The room faded away before Alexis could reply and was quickly replaced with the Dauntless training room where Four and Eric stood side by side as they waited for her to approach.

_“You must choose one of us. If you want to reach Four, the path will be easy, but if you choose me, then the path will be dangerous.” Eric said as the floor before him crumbled apart and left a gaping whole._

_The only way across to him was by climbing along the jagged edges while the path to Four remained untouched; Alexis looked between the two of them._

_She took a deep breath and sat down at the edge of the cliff, then slowly eased herself down. Making sure to find proper footing before taking her next step, she patiently made her way across until she pulled herself up at the other end._

_“So you do love me.” Eric said giving her a cocky smirk when she stood up and faced him._

_“I do.” She admitted and he slowly disappeared, his wide grin the last thing she saw of him._

_The walls closed in and Alexis now stood in a Dauntless cell as Jeanine blocked her way out. The older woman looked at her coldly and said, “If you wish to leave this room then you must solve a riddle.”_

_Alexis frowned, but replied, “Okay.”_

_“A man went on a trip with a fox, a goose and a sack of corn. He came upon a stream which he had to cross and found a tiny boat to use to cross it, but he could only take himself and one other – the fox, the goose, or the corn – at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn, so how can he get them all safely over the stream?” Jeanine recited._

_Alexis listened carefully to the puzzle and thought it through before answering, “If the fox can’t be left with the goose, but is okay with the corn, he would take the goose over first. Then he would go back for the fox and take it over, and then take the goose back. Then he would leave the goose and take the corn over before going back for the goose.”_

_Jeanine scowled at her answer and Alexis found herself back on the table in the Erudite lab, hooked up to the machine. The door to the room burst open and Eric strode in with his gun pointed at her._

_“I’m sorry, Alexis, but I have to do this. If I don’t, then everyone will be in danger.” He said, looking at odds with himself._

_She knew he was right and said, “Its’ okay, Eric. I forgive you.”_

_She closed her eyes and heard the loud bang of his gun going off._

The sound woke her up, but she was too disoriented to focus on anything to realize what was happening as more loud bangs rang through the room before someone picked her up and began running with her in his arms.

Her head throbbed and the bright lights hurt her eyes, so she shut them tight and buried her face in the chest of her rescuer. She just wanted to go to sleep and pretend it was all a dream, but the deep ragged breaths of the man who jogged with her downstairs and burst through doors, kept her awake until finally they ended up somewhere dark and he laid her down.

“Alexis.” He called out her name as he frantically caressed her face. “Alexis, please, answer me.”

The darkness was comforting; beckoning her to give in to it and she let it draw her in as the voice faded away.

“Don’t leave me, Alexis.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading so far and all the comments and kudos! This chapter and the next will be done in Eric's point of view... You will see why.

The melodic rumbling beneath her ear slowly brought her out of her dream and Alexis became conscious of a comfortable weight on her head as someone’s hand held it. Heat seeped into her chilled body from the large shape she was laying against and curious as to whom it was, she tried to lift her head to see but they stopped her with a firm grip.

“Hey, don’t move.” Eric stopped his humming to say. When she eased back down she could hear the worry that etched his voice as he said, “I wasn’t sure you were going to wake up.”

“I almost wish I hadn’t, I feel like crap.” She mumbled.

Her head was still sore, and she felt tired and sticky. Lifting a hand to rub at whatever it was beside her ear, she felt an almost dry substance and remembered what the lady in the lab had said. She sat up quickly, but regretted it at once when a piercing pain stabbed her brain.

Eric pulled her back down to his chest and said, “Quit moving. We don’t know the extent of the damage done to your brain and sudden movement might make it worse.”

“I’m surprised I’m even alive.” She said, squeezing her eyes tight against the pain.

“And you’re damn lucky you are. You scared the shit out of me, Alexis.” Eric said. “What the hell happened tonight?”

Alexis swallowed, unwilling to relive the memory but answered anyway, “It was an ambush. We got through the gate as planned, but when we were on the train they attacked and somehow our weapons were useless against them.

“We had nowhere to go and they picked us off one by one, but they obviously had orders to leave me alone. I eventually got a hold of one of their guns, but by then it was too late.

“Everyone was killed and when Four was shot it triggered another panic attack. I ultimately passed out and woke up in that room. Which is what I don’t get, the vaccination I was given was supposed to stop the attacks.” She explained, frowning in confusion.

“What vaccination?” Eric asked, becoming instantly suspicious.

“The one you told Duncan to give me.” She plainly replied, her eyebrow raised.

Hi body tensed and he said, “I never told him to do that.”

“But he said… Oh, that little rat must have been the one who betrayed us! The woman in the room with me did say they had someone on the inside at the Bureau. I knew I didn’t like him!” She said indignantly, slamming a fist into the hard cement floor.

“Ow.” She hissed and shook it out.

“There’s nothing we can do about it now, except wait until night and try to get back to the Bureau then.” Eric grumbled, taking her hand in his and absentmindedly rubbing it.

The gentle pressure of his thumb felt nice on the palm of her hand and Alexis was too tired to pull away, so she let him do it and looked at their surroundings for the first time. “Where are we?”

“Some old factory a few blocks away from Erudite. I was hoping Four would bring a team back for us, but by the sounds of it we might be on our own.” He replied, sounding as tired as she felt.

“How did you know I was there anyway?” She curiously asked.

“Four. I was in the middle of talking shop with Jeanine, trying to distract her, when his voice shouted over Stephan’s radio. He said you were taken and that’s when I realized the tables were in fact turned and she was playing me. I ran out of there as fast as I could knowing you’d be in her private lab and when I found you, I grabbed you and ran back out.” He explained.

Alexis felt guilty. “I’m sorry, Eric. I messed this whole thing up, didn’t I?”

Eric looked down at her, his eyebrows creased. “How is this your fault? I shouldn’t have let you come knowing about your attacks and the fact that Jeanine wanted you. I should have told you to stay behind, but I let my anger fuel my decisions and I’m the one who messed up in more ways than one.” He confessed.

Alexis knew she was no longer angry with him, not after everything that happened, and the sadness in his voice pained her. “How did you mess up more than one way?”

His hold on her tightened a fraction and he said, “I wouldn’t call pushing you away a success when it’s the farthest thing from what I really want.”

“And what do you really want?”

“I want to bring you back to Dauntless and lock you away in my apartment so no one can take you away from me.” He said without hesitation.

“Well, isn’t that romantic.” She rolled her eyes and teased.

Alexis’ head rose slightly when he breathed in deeply and said, “Yeah, well, being in love is new to me.”

She paused. “I thought you said love only got in the way.” She said, not wanting to allow herself to hope for something he might take back.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I just said that to stop myself falling in love with you and it obviously didn’t work, because now the thought of losing you terrifies me. It has since the night of the fire.” He replied.

Alexis bit her lip, debating with herself on whether or not to tell him and then she remembered her Dauntless test.

“I love you too.” She finally whispered back.

His abdominal muscles crunched beneath her hand as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She closed her eyes in bliss at the act and wished she felt well enough to kiss him back.

They sat like that for some time and Eric started humming again. She didn’t recognize the song, but that didn’t matter as she just enjoyed the sound of his voice and her eyes began to droop from the vibration coming from his chest.

She must have fallen back asleep, because she was startled when he stiffened suddenly and slowly slid her off his chest and onto the floor. He stood up and gestured for her to remain quiet as he peered around the corner.

Alexis could hear them now as numerous feet crunched over dead leaves and rotten floorboards in the other room. The fear that it was Jeanine’s soldiers coming for them disappeared when she saw Eric’s shoulders relax and Natalie’s face came into view.

The older woman smiled in relief at the sight of Eric, but then it turned into concern when she spotted Alexis on the floor. She swung her gun over her shoulder and made her way over to kneel down and touched Alexis on the head with care.

“Does it hurt?” She asked.

Alexis nodded slightly and Natalie waved over one of the soldiers that came with her. The man was probably in his mid-fifties with greying hair and a solid body, and he appeared to be the field medic as he opened a kit full of medical supplies beside her. He was reaching for a syringe when a hand grasped his arm and stopped him.

“What is that?” Eric asked him, the news of the betrayal undoubtedly motivating his suspicion.

“A pain reliever and some sedatives, so we can move her without causing discomfort; brain trauma is serious and we need to get back to the Bureau quickly.” He replied, looking the young Dauntless leader in the eye.

Eric didn’t let him go though and Natalie said, “Its’ okay, Eric. David sent us as soon as we found out what happened; he wants her back safely, so you can trust us.”

Alexis watched as his gaze flicked from the man to Natalie and he slowly retracted his hand and took hers instead.

He smoothed her hair with his free hand and said, “I’m here for you.”

She was wondering where this Eric had been the whole time when the needle went in and the last thing she remembered was Eric’s hand gripping hers.  
***

  
Eric’s POV

He stood behind the glass wall, watching as they operated on Alexis, his knuckles white from the grip he had on the railing in front of him.

He was anxious, wanting them to finish so they could tell him that she would be alright and he could let out the breath he felt like he had been holding in ever since she went unconscious and they rushed back to the gate.

They had no trouble getting back that it seemed like Jeanine wanted to let them go and it irked Eric, but he was too worried about Alexis to track Duncan down right away that he decided to wait until she was in the clear before he murdered the little shit and dealt with the consequences later.

Four was already recovering in the infirmary down the hall, since he had arrived an hour earlier than they did. Another team had been dispatched to search the train for survivors and Four was among the six, along with Amar, who managed to stay alive long enough to be rescued.

But Eric didn’t care about them. His whole world was in front of him with a million doctors prodding around in her head and he hated the fact that he had to sit back and wait. He didn’t dare leave though.

What felt like forever later, the nurses wheeled Alexis out of the room and he caught up to them as they made their way to the infirmary. One of them was about to open her mouth and tell him to leave when he glared at her and she was smart enough to look away instead.

Eric slipped his hand over Alexis’ and followed as they positioned her bed next to Four’s and he sat down in the vacant chair between the two beds, not letting go of her lifeless hand in the process.

He only vaguely listened to the doctor who rambled something along the lines of her needing a couple days rest before they would wake her from the medically induced coma they put her in for the surgery until he heard the words he wanted to hear.

“Everything went well and she should be back to her normal self in no time.” The doctor said.

Eric looked up at the doctor finally and said, “Thank you,” and he meant it.

He had nothing else left to live for now that Jeanine opened the box and declared him and Four to be traitors to the factions, information Mark revealed when he waited with him for a while during the surgery.

He had no home and no family. Only Alexis and he refused to give her up now that he had her. He gripped her hand tighter and felt the fatigue of the late hour and lack of food catch up to him now that she was out of the woods and he could sit down.

He leaned over and rested his forehead on the bed beside their clasped hands, expecting to only catch a few moments of sleep and was stunned to wake up hours later to find the room dark and Alexis’ bed empty. He stood up so fast his chair fell over and the sound of it hitting the floor alerted the on duty nurse, who then rushed in.

“Where is she? What happened?” He asked, his anger and worry escalating with each second.

The nurse held her hands out to calm him. “She’s alright. She had an episode a few hours ago and we had to take her back into surgery. No, you can’t go in there.” She said when he pushed passed her and ran to the operating room, but it was empty.

He spun in a circle, unsure where to go and when he spotted the nurse coming after him, he rounded on her.

“Where did they take her?”

“I told you, surgery, and if you barge in there you could very well be the reason she doesn’t make it.” She scolded him.

Eric stilled and breathed heavily through his nose. He wanted to hit something very badly and an idea popped into his head.

“Where does Duncan live?” He asked the frightened nurse.

She looked startled by the question and sputtered, “He, uh, lives in apartment 315 on the third floor, but he’s most likely sleeping!” She shouted at him when he marched towards the stairs and shoved the door open.

He took the stairs up two at a time and reached the third floor in less than two minutes. Throwing the stairwell door open, he read each room number as he stalked down the hallway and found Duncan’s apartment easily.

With a powerful kick at the door he cracked it and a loud splintering sound echoed down the hall. He tried again and again, not caring if he woke the whole compound up, until it flew open and a terrified Duncan stood there holding a lamp up for protection.

Eric charged in and easily grabbed the metal object out of his hands. He used his new weapon, swinging it downward and hit Duncan in the thigh with it. The younger man let out a shout and bent down to clutch his leg, but Eric grabbed him by the hair and pulled back so he would look at him.

“Why did you do it? What did Jeanine offer you that was worth your friend’s lives?” He seethed, staring down into the frightened blue eyes.

“I… I swear… I didn’t do it.” Duncan stammered.

Eric pulled harder and Duncan cried out in pain.

“Then why did you give Alexis a fake injection to stop her panic attacks and tell her I told you to do it?” He asked, his anger no less fierce.

“David. He asked me to give it to her and to say it was on your orders so she’d do it.” Duncan replied, wincing in pain.

Eric didn’t expect to hear David’s name and narrowed his eyes at the other man. “Why would David do that? And why did he ask you?”

Duncan looked down in shame and answered, “Because I was sent by Jeanine to be her spy, but David knew and he told me I could keep my life if I worked for him instead and fed Jeanine false information.”

Eric frowned and pushed Duncan onto the couch. “Alright, you have my attention, talk.”

Duncan took a deep breath. “A few years ago, when I was an Erudite initiate, Jeanine became aware of someone who was helping the Divergents within the faction. She found out I was Divergent and convinced me to allow myself to be contacted by this person so Jeanine could find out their identity.” He started to explain, but then paused.

Eric knew who it was and a heavy weight pressed down on his chest at the thought of his mother being caught.

“Keep going.” He said, dreading Duncan’s next words.

Duncan fidgeted in his seat. “It was your mother, as you probably already knew… She told me about the Bureau and all the other Divergents who lived here in safety and I wanted to keep it secret, but Jeanine has her way of finding things out and told me to let Margo help me escape and then give her all the information I found out about this place once I was inside.

“As soon as I set foot in the building, David sat me down in his office and told me about the fact that they knew everything that went on in the factions and I was already caught as a spy. Everyone already hated me because of what I did and they wouldn’t accept me unless I agreed to work for him instead. Then I found out what happened to Margo and…”

“What happened to her?” Eric stopped his pacing to bark his question at him.

Duncan flinched. “Jeanine poisoned her so it looked like a heart attack and she was going to do the same to you, figuring you were in on it all along, but when you never showed up for the funeral she was easy to convince otherwise on David’s orders.”

Eric’s chest constricted. His mother was murdered… He shook his head out to clear his mind of his renewed grief and focused.

“If David cared so much about keeping me alive then, why did he want Alexis to think she was panic free?”

“All I know is that he wanted her to open the box and he knew she wouldn’t have gone if she thought she was a liability to you and Four’s safeties, so he had me make her think she would be fine. I gave her a placebo, nothing that would hurt her, I swear.” He threw his hands up in the air when Eric growled at him.

“And you just went along with it and put her in harm’s way? She could have died opening that box!” He shouted at the younger man who dropped his head in his hands.

“I know, I’m sorry, but I have no friends here and less prospects for a date and he promised to make her think she was in love with me when he erased her memory.” Duncan confessed.

“What?” Eric froze, his mind going in a million different directions. “No.” He whispered to himself and ran out of the apartment, ignoring all the people who came out of their rooms to see what was going on and raced to David’s office.


	20. Chapter 20

It was late, too late for David to normally still be awake, but something pulled Eric there and as he neared David’s office he could see that the lights were on through the slats of the closed blinds.

Eric barged into the room with a clang and demanded, “Where is she?”

He searched the room with his eyes while he gulped in air and managed to keep himself from hauling the older man out from behind his desk.

“I wondered how long it would take you to show up.” David replied without as much as a flinch at the rude interruption.

“I said… Where is she?!” Eric growled, his nostrils flaring.

“You mean, Alexis?” David asked, setting his pen down and rummaging through a drawer. “You’re too late. We shipped her off somewhere safe hours ago.”

Eric took a menacing step forward and said, “To the Divergent city?”

David looked sharply up at him.

“She told you about that?” He asked and then shrugged. “No matter, you’ll never make it there on foot anyway, not that there would be any point in you going after her; she no longer knows who you are.”

“You fucking bastard.” Eric snarled, his heart heavy with the knowledge he was too late.

He took another step forward, but stopped when David lifted up the pistol he had hidden beside his chair and pointed it at his chest.

“That’s more like it. You Dauntless aren’t always the brightest, but you do know how to survive.” David said rather straight-faced.

Normally Eric would be scanning the room for ideas on how to get the gun away from him, but at the moment he just didn’t care and with a set jaw, Eric closed the gap between him and the gun so that its’ barrel pressed into his chest.

David’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You always were a cocky son of a bitch.”

Eric ignored his comment and asked, “Why are you doing this? I thought you were protecting the Divergent.”

“I am,” was his reply. “Yes, I did have to sacrifice a good many of them yesterday, but it was for the greater good.” He admitted with a small frown.

“And what is the greater good?” Eric asked, confusion penetrating his increasing numbness.

“If any GD were able to figure it out, I would have thought it would be you, Eric.” David taunted him.

Eric’s lip curled up in a snarl. “Pretend I’m someone else, then.”

“Alright...” David paused. “For a long time I had hoped that the Factions were the perfect system to control the Genetically Defected, but recent events have proven that theory wrong and now they are beginning to threaten the existence of the Divergent as well as their own.

“Jeanine’s new serum could change that. I wanted Alexis to open the box so Jeanine could see how easy it would be for her to lose the population if they were to know the truth and leave, giving her motivation to implement her serum and I could study how effective it is. If it’s successful, I intend to inject every GD with it to end their constant violence.” He explained.

“So, you want to control every GD by taking away their freedom?”

“Essentially, yes, but it’s the only way.” David nodded.

“This whole mess started because people wanted to control human nature, which isn’t perfect to begin with and now you’re going to do it all over again?”

David replied, “It’s not the same thing...”

“It sure sounds the same to me.” Eric glared down at him.

“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have a say in it.” David snapped.

Eric clenched his jaw, his rage at himself rising. He was the one who let David convince him that he was saving people when in reality he was just being used to fulfill a plan to control an entire country and now not only was Alexis’ family losing their free will, but Alexis had too.

He’d never hated himself as much as he did right then.

“If Alexis accomplished your goal, then why erase her memory and send her away?” He demanded, needing to know why she couldn’t have stayed.

“I know about your feelings for her and I don’t approve of Divergents and DG’s mixing. Granted there are some GD’s who are exceptional, such as yourself and Four, but I will not let another one of our best Divergents ruin the next generation, even with the likes of you.” David sneered and jabbed the gun harder into Eric’s flesh.

_He took her from me because of his precious Divergent gene pool?!_ Eric angrily thought and pushed back.

“Go ahead, shoot me. I have nothing left to live for now, so you might as well put me out of my misery.”

“You don’t want to try and save your precious city?” David sounded genuinely curious.

“The Factions can burn for all I care.” He spat out.

David studied him for a minute before replying, “That may be, but I have a better plan for you. I need someone to take the fall for the sabotage and you fit the bill perfectly.”

“And just how are you going to do that?” He scoffed.

“Like this.” David said and pulled the gun off Eric and shot himself in the shoulder.

As David cried out in pain and clutched his wound, footsteps pounded on the tiled floor out in the hallway and Eric snapped into action. He darted for the door, hearing David shouting to the guards behind him, and ran for the exit.

He knew it would be suicide to try and get his weapons from the main entrance and so he made his way through the main building where he had a better chance at taking down an unarmed guard.

He wove his way to the rear where the old airplane boarding gates once stood. Most of them had been converted to other uses, but during his snooping he found one that remained operational with a single tiny plane. He cursed silently as he drew near because the tarmac was empty.

_Damn it! They must’ve sent Alexis away in it, which means she could be anywhere in the country._

He’d be damned if he let himself allow her to stay under David’s controlling thumb now that he had no choice but to live with his mistakes and was determined to look for her for as long as it took, whether she remembered him or not.

Eric wasn’t there for the plane anyway and pushed at the locked gate doors as an alarm went off around him. Knowing they had eyes everywhere and it wouldn’t be long before they reached him, he kicked at the handle until it broke off and swung open.

Jogging to the end of the jet bridge, he was grateful for the good fortune that it was left open and jumped down. He landed hard on his foot and cursed in pain at the hard impact.

He didn’t have time to stop, so he quickly stood up and limped off, wincing with each step as he hurried through the dark of night and followed the fence to the gates.

Many of the guards had rushed inside to investigate the alarm, but one remained to watch the fence and Eric, as stealthily as he could, snuck in behind him and quietly knocked him out with a choke hold.

He then picked up the sentry’s gun and checked to see how much ammunition it had before checking the limp body for a knife. He would need one if he was to survive out in the fringe, because guns were useless at hunting for food once they were out of bullets and they couldn’t cut anything for a fire or shelter, either.

He finally found one in the man’s left boot and quickly slid it behind his belt for safe keeping and set out in a random direction, hoping it would one day lead him to Alexis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of this book. There will be a sequel called Loneliness. This story was already complete when I posted it, but I've only started the sequel so it will take longer to finish, but I hope you enjoyed this story and continue to enjoy the rest!
> 
> Feel free to leave me comments about what you thought!


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